


Pretty Girl, Long Sleeves

by CoffeeAndValentines



Series: Pretty Girl, Long Sleeves [1]
Category: Frozen (2013), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Elza/OC, F/M, OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:47:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 46,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7527979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeAndValentines/pseuds/CoffeeAndValentines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU of Frozen and Rise of the Guardians in modern time. Elsa isn't the best at relationships after moving away from her sister as a freshman. Elsa suffers from severe depression as she struggles to hide a brutal secret, a single bullet sends her spiraling out of control. She was just getting better and now shes scarred again. AU, Modern. Rated M for extreme depression, triggers, abuse, sex, violence and murder, smut and adult/dark themes. {ElsaxOC} [ElsaxJack]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The alarm clocked screamed into the air, as if afraid that no one could hear it. Elsa groaned, she flipped onto her stomach in anger and shut the alarm off. Dark circles clotted her complexion were an obvious result of yet another night without sleep. Elsa stared at the clock. 5:31am. Elsa huffed, the day before her junior year at Fallen Highschool and she was waking up at an unbearably gross timing. Why? Because her parents died six months ago, and even after not living with them for 3 years, the unbearable pain of there death dug deep into her stomach- her eyes swelled again, but instead of letting herself cry she stood up swiftly and forced herself to push her way into the kitchen.

She wore a black button-up shirt that was about a million sizes too big for her, it hung off one of her shoulders and draped her thighs, but besides that Elsa didn't believe she needed anymore clothes to walk around the comforting hand of her apartment. Elsa swiped her phone off of the counter, checking to see if anyone had texted- but her messages were blank. Elsa turned the coffee pot on, knowing she would never be able to think straight without her daily dose of caffeine. She stared at her phone, her heart pounding.

She had a meeting today with a local court, Elsa had never been emancipated legally, however she bought her apartment with the help of her parents when she was 14. Elsa hated that day, she hated thinking about it- hated the way that her memory would sneak up on her like that. Elsa shivered, gripping the coffee cup with a grip so harsh her pale hands turned a shade of white she had never seen before. Else took a deep breath, willing her memory to go away, that today she had to step up, she had to start forgetting her broken past and deal with what was today.

Today. Elsa gripped her shoulders with terror, today was the day that she was legally no longer a child, the day that she was officially named an orphan by court.

The day that a judge would decide weather Elsa was fit enough to take care of her sister. Anna Elsa's mind spun with all of her worst fears. What if she wasn't fit to take care of Anna? What if they carted Anna away to a foster home? What if Anna did stay here? Then what? How would Elsa ever be able to explain to Anna what had happened to her as a freshmen? What if Anna asked? What is Anna saw?

Elsa curled at the though, her eyes wandered down to her wrists, the ones that were covered in lines of silver and purple, blanching out on her skin like an angry painter's canvas. The few bright red ones stood out the most - the most recent ones.

Elsa felt the tears well up at her eyes, she held her pale hands close to her chest and tried to control her trembling lips. She heard the vibrate of her phone on the counter and peered down.

New Text Message From:Anna

Elsa struggled to fight away her tears and picked up the phone, swiping it's screen and reading its words slowly. "Hey, are you awake?" Elsa replied with a quick yes, and the phone vibrated again almost as quickly as she had sent. "Can I ask you something?" Elsa sipped her coffee slow as she sent another yes and held her breath, waiting for Anna's reply.

"Do you even want me to live with you?" Elsa sighed in anguish at her sister's text that they both knew was coming. Elsa thought for a few moments before replying. "Of course I do Anna, you have to remember I'm 17... I haven't seen you in forever and yes, I miss you and we just went through he death of our parents... I don't want anything more then for you to be here with me. I'm afraid that YOU don't want be be here with me."

Elsa slid her phone away from her, leaving it laying on the counter while she shuffled into the bathroom, she let the tears roll down her cheeks, she meant every word she said, and that was what terrified her. Elsa stepped into the shower, she scrubbed the soap deep into her skin, hoping that it would wash away the pain that was beating on her ribs but no matter how hard she scrubbed she still felt dirty. The water touched her cuts, sending deep rooted pains up and down her spine. She cried, hard, body raking sobs pounded in her chest until she had the strength to stop herself.

Elsa dressed quickly in the only pair of nice clothes she had, a black, thankfully long sleeved, top and a nice business looking skirt with leggings. Elsa slipped into a pair of shoes and pulled her hair back into her braid, letting her bangs fold back and sit naturally on her head. Before she forgot, she slid the silver nose ring out of her left nostril. She opened her makeup drawer, on any normal day Elsa wore colored eyes shadow and liquid eyeliner, she felt ugly, practically naked without it. However, she knew the judge to sign for Elsa's right to house and take responsibility over Anna would probably be an old batty man or woman who despised the 'Kids these days.' So Elsa shut the drawer and looked up into the mirror, her eyes flashed with dark baby blue, her skin was so pale paper probably had darker complexion then she did, and her blonde hair was so light it almost blended into the rest of her. Elsa shivered and quickly turned away from the mirror, she looked at the clock with despair, 6:45am Elsa dashed out of the apartment, grabbing her phone but refusing to open Anna's text messages.

She practically ran to the car and sped through traffic, knowing if she was late the chances of her being found eligible was less then 0. Elsa turned as her phone ran on the seat next to her.

Marco.

Shit. Elsa had told Marco- her best and only friend - that she wanted him to come with her. She reached for the phone and placed in on her shoulder.

"Oh my god Marco I am so sorry I totally forgot." Elsa bit her lip and felt the guilt pitch fall in her stomach. She heard Marco laugh on the other end of the line.

"Don't worry Frost-Bite, I'll just meet you there." Marco's words were steamed and smooth, comforting. Elsa scoffed at his nickname for her and relaxed at the sound of his voice, Marco always knew what to say, exactly how to say it. Elsa pulled into the parking lot just as Marco hung up. She swiftly fled from the car, grabbing a pile of neat, organized papers from the backseat and snatching her cell phone. Elsa's heels clicked and her heart raced, she looked up into the dazzling eyes of Marco, her heart stopping completely. His green eyes flicked in the sunlight of late-summer/early-fall and he smiled at her.

"Finally decide to show up?" He teased her gently and Elsa shrugged him off.

"Whatever," Elsa sighed and smiled back at him, their eyes drifting simultaneously to the doors. Elsa's heart pumped with pain again.

"Hey, you ok?" Marco touched Elsa's shoulder gently and she looked up into the eyes of her friend. No, I'm not okay... I'm far from ok, I hurt. Everywhere.

"Yeah," Elsa breathed and forced another smile, taking a brave step for the doors.

.:*:.

"Elsa Delaney Aren, the court finds you a suitable guardian for Anna Rose Aren."

Elsa let out an agonized breath, the comfort and the worry washed over her like clashing currents as the courts began to dispatch, Anna was not there, she was back at Elsa's apartment, beginning to un-pack boxes after Elsa had sent her the news.

Elsa walked outside, felling the refreshing cold of a breeze on her shoulders.

"So how did it go?" Marco was instantly at Elsa's side as they walked to the car. Elsa felt a cold shiver overcome her despite the 70 degree weather. She didn't know how it went, she was suitable to take care of Anna by law but in all truth Elsa didn't think she was a good sister, none the less a suitable protector for Anna. What if Anna didn't even like living with her? What if Anna hated her? Elsa knew that Anna hated her, she didn't blame her.

If the same things had happened with switched roles, and it had been Anna who had suddenly shut her out- Elsa would have hated her too. Elsa already hater herself for leaving, and she hated herself even more for having the thought that maybe, just maybe she could take care of Anna. She was a fool.

"It went great, Anna can move in tonight." Elsa forced a smile and Marco smiled back at her. His hand rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

"If you'd like, I'll stay with you tonight." Elsa's heart raced, pumping blood through her veins harshly. Her stomach flipped with bitter-sweet happiness at the thought of Marco staying the night with her. It was all she ever wanted... But she could never have Marco over with Anna still there. Elsa was about to deny his request when he added, "Unless you think it would make Anna uncomfortable I could just stay for a while and leave later so you guys could be alone." Elsa nodded, Marco was always so perfect, the perfect friend when she had none. He always seemed to know exactly what Elsa felt, except for the fact that Elsa had always had a crush on him, and he was oblivious, dating other girls who usually dumped him because she was his best friend.

"Ill see you there then, and get some food please? I don't know what Anna likes so... uhm, what is something that all teenage girls love?" Elsa looked up at him and set her papers on the hood of her car. She didn't know anything about normal freshmen girls. During her freshmen year things had spiraled out of control, she began t remember- remember him.

Elsa recoiled, growing sick at the thought and she gripped the hood of her car desperately.

"Uhm, pizza and chocolate?" Marco replied sarcastically before he saw Elsa crumble. "Whoa... FrostBite you alright?" Elsa straightened at Marco's voice, not wanting him to think she was falling apart.

"No-no I'm okay.. go ahead and grab that then okay?" Elsa smiled up at him, forcing her lips to curve while her heart tightened but she couldn't help the tears that threatened her eyes. Marco moved in, wrapping her arms around her.

"Hey Elsa, it gonna be alright I'm right here and I'll help you the entire way I promise." Elsa smiled, a real smile into his shoulders and felt the tears soak up into his fabric.

.:*:.

Elsa stared at the door of her apartment, the apartment she had came home to for 4, long, anguished years. She stared at it's frame, it seemed unbearably foreign. Elsa gulped, she couldn't go in like this, she felt nude without her makeup and her nose ring. The classy business suit was nothing like her. Elsa turned on her heel, stumbling back out to her car and popping the trunk. She still had a bag full of extra clothes and necessities from when she was first starting her sophomore year, when sometimes her clothes would...

Elsa shook her head fiercely and grabbed the clothes, their origins chilled her bones and she bit her lip. She changed in the backseat, slipping into a black long-sleeve that had 'Korn' and its band logo on the back, one of her favorite shirts. She slipped into the black skinny jeans and found an extra nose ring. She made due with the eyeliner and shadow in the glove box. She finished lacing her converse and trudged back up the stairs, feeling more herself again she stared at the door, placed her hand on the knob and took a deep breath. Elsa prayed one last time that she would know what was next and she opened the door. Elsa swiftly walked past her living room to the guest bedroom, peeking over the corner to find the red head on the floor, crying.

Elsa's heart twisted. She didn;t even know how to calm herself it situations like this, how could she help Anna? Elsa remembered Marco, thought like Marco.

What would Marco do what would Marco do?

Elsa slipped in quietly and knelt down next to the tiny girl. Anna jumped when Elsa did so, realizing she was there she wiped her eyes quickly.

"Oh- Elsa I'm sorry you-" Anna began to apologize and stand up, But Elsa took her arm gently and forced a nervous smile.

"Don't apologize, please, I... Anna I'm here for you okay?" Elsa tried to sound comforting, she tried to seem not so tense and look into the red-head's eyes affectionately. Anna looked at her angrily- Elsa watched her sister's beautiful orbs crack and crumble with rage as if what was once soft and beautiful had begun to devour itself.

"You were never there... three years you were never there Elsa." The tears began to stream off the ginger's face again. Anna broke Elsa's grip fiercely and stared down at her sister.

Elsa cringed, shivering and melting at the feirce words her sister spoke. She really does hate me.

Elsa stood and backed out of the room defensively. Her head spun and her temples began to ache, she felt her stomach turn acidic and she fled from the room, running into hers and slamming the door.

Useless.

Ugly.

Fat.

Gross.

Worthless.

Bitch.

Scummer.

The insults she flared at herself were much worse, and Elsa began to tear through drawers, the tears turning into sobs. Don't Feel.

Elsa found the blade, and without thought she brought it to her wrist. She felt the uneasy pain consume her and her thoughts that rambled on began to slow. Elsa calmed her breath and let the tears pool out of her eyes. She watched the blood drip onto the oak of the desk, and she brought it down again.

Don't Feel.

And then she stopped, she set the blade down and let her sobs return. She was a terrible sister, a useless guardian and a stupid idiot to think that she could ever be anything more. Elsa striped into her shower, staring at the walls and watching blood swirl down the drain.


	2. Memory Lane

Elsa stepped out of the shower, jumping at the sound of the doorbell. Shit.

Marco.

Elsa bit her lip, praying that maybe Marco could stop this whole mess. Elsa rubbed her shoulders and listened as her sister let Marco in.

"Hello?" The ginger's voice was thick with hurt.

"Uhm.. Hello? Anna right? Your Elsa's sister?" There was a pause and Elsa dressed quickly in a plain grey sweater, pulling the sleeves off her shoulders so that she could grip them fiercely with her hands. She thought about Anna or Marco seeing her new, bright red gashes and she shivered - gripping the sleeves even tighter. Elsa slipped back into her jeans, too anxious to try and pick anything else, hoping that Anna wouldn't assume the worst of her inviting Marco over.

Elsa hurried out of her room, running a brush through her hair and letting the wet locks sit on her shoulder, throwing the brush back in her room lazily. Marco had a pizza and a few Hershey's bars, Anna looked at them with big eyes and when Elsa entered- Anna whipped her head around to look at her.

"Is this your boyfriend Elsa?" Anna pointed at Marco and raised a brow. Elsa turned bright red and laughed nervously. She took a moment to really look at her sister, she had a tiny pair of shorts on, showing off her perfect legs and flaunting her small curves, paired with a bright red tee shirt, adoring their old middle school 'The Fairmount Howlers' cheer leading. God she was perfect, it made Elsa even more nervous to be around her.

"N-No." Elsa looked at Marco and back at Anna. her grip on the sleeves growing intensely. "Anna this is Marco, he's a friend and I don't have any food, i figured he would know what get?" Elsa's knees were starting to tremble. She needed to impress Anna, she would have been embarrassed if anyone had made that comment, she loved Marco. He didn't love her back and it hurt so bad... But she wasn't supposed to even be thinking about that, she needed to be a sister.

Marco sensed Elsa's nerves and grabbed Anna's attention back.

"So? You like pizza?" Marco slid the box across the table to her. Anna nodded fiercely and opened the box.

"Aww no mushrooms?" Anna played pouty for a second and smiled at Marco, Elsa's heart thundering at the thought of Marco liking her sister, her perfect flawless sister. Elsa felt the jealously turn her blood cold. Marco looked at Elsa with a smirk, sending his emerald eyes ablaze and causing Elsa's stomach to flip.

"Take notes." Marco and Anna laughed, Elsa smiled nervously and leaned against the table.

"Mushrooms, got it." Elsa itched her shoulders nervously and watched Anna pile three pieces of pizza on top of each other, grabbing a Hershey's bar and placing it in between her teeth. Her perfectly white teeth.

"Well thanks for the food." Anna smiled at Marco, turning sharply and glaring at Elsa before storming out of the room, leaving a sting in Elsa's eyes.

She gulped helplessly, gripping her shoulders intensely and falling limply into an open chair. She knew trying to take care of Anna would be difficult, and she never expected Anna to like her... after all Anna still didn't know what he did to her. Elsa shivered, burying her face in her hands. Elsa felt her head throb, her first instinct: cut. The only thing keeping her from running into her room, finding the blade again, and engraving the tally-marks into her skin was Marco, his hand rubbed her shoulder warmly.

"Hey, Elsa its okay..." Marco pulled a chair close to Elsa and let her fall into his chest. "You can work things out with Anna, just let it go Elsa you're going to be okay." His words hit Elsa head on like bittersweet, cupid's arrows. She melted into Marco, let the tears sting her eyes so sourly it burned. She sobbed, letting herself fall- letting Marco hold her up. Marco kissed her forehead, sending small sparks of warmth into her lungs. Elsa sighed and tried to pull herself together, pulling away from Marco and looking up at him, his eyes gleamed and he smiled at her. Elsa forced a smile back and stood up shakily.

"I'm... I'm so sorry Marco." She breathed un-easily, her knees shaky again, the headache returning to her temples.

"No, don;t apologize Elsa," Marco stood with her, ran a hand over her hair and caressed her softly. Elsa stopped breathing, she looked up at him her heart begging- screaming- for affection. "I love you Elsa." Elsa felt the tears flood down her face, her entire world suddenly came to a screeching stop. Marco linked his hand into Elsa's, lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles.

Elsa gasped, her sleeve slipped and she recoiled a second too late. Marco looked at her, an expression of shock and pain struck his face- ripping apart what Elsa loved so dearly. What have I done?

Elsa pulled away but Marco held her wrist tightly enough to hurt the open wounds. He pulled her closer to him, turning her arm so he could see the lines clearly. He looked away as if someone had just shot him. Elsa tried to pull away again, the tears now accompanied by burning sobs. Her lungs burned with every gasp. Marco pulled at her other arm, his grip strong from years of football and wrestling. He grabbed her sleeves, pushing them both all the way up to her elbows. The red ones stood out bright against the pale of Elsa's forearms. Her arms littered with shades of silver, purple and red.

"Marco... Ma-arco, please I-I, I'm s-sorry, please let me go." Elsa pulled again and turned away, not being able to stand the sight of her own skin. She felt the migraine start and Marco's grip tighten.

"Look at me." Marco spoke lightly. The words sent a shock-wave through Elsa's body, re-igniting memory. Elsa's heart rate thundered and she felt the world of her memories consume her.

Memory

Elsa's Freshman Year

She saw the way the ginger looked at her, looked at her with hunger - evil. Sure he was attractive but he always made her uncomfortable, the way he looked at her... it was... predatory.

She knew his name was Hans, he was a sophomore and he was an exchange student from Norway.

He looked at her again, and Elsa turned to look into the back of her locker. This was awkward, she knew she needed to get out of this empty hallway and back to English, well almost empty.

She looked back at Hans again, he was staring at her. Elsa slammed the locker, turned abruptly and started walking away. The way he followed her was triggering, nauseatingly nerve wracking. He eventually caught up to her, touching her shoulder.

Elsa looked at him, his touch sending burns up her arm.

"Elsa, my darling you look so nice today." He smirked, a disgusting smirk. Elsa cringed and brushed off his hand.

"Uhm, thanks." Elsa started walking again towards the English Hall. Hans following her seductively.

She could feel his eyes staring at her, burning her skin. She quickened her pace, his stare making her uncomfortable. What would he want? Elsa didn't let herself think about that, Hans quickened his pace to match hers and she smiled politely. He smirked back, sending a flame through her veins, fiery with fear. Elsa turned sharply, and slipped into the girls bathroom, she pressed herself against the wall, her heart thudding. He won't follow me here, I'm okay. She turned, looking at the mirror to see Hans entering. Elsa moved in front of him.

"Hans? Get out of here, whats your problem?" Elsa spoke anxiously. Hands just smiled and turned, locking the door. "Hans..." Elsa backed away from him, and he closed in on her- gripping her shoulder and forcing her into the wall. Elsa opened her mouth to scream- but Hans cupped a hand over her mouth, blocking the sound from ever escaping her lips. Elsa's heart stopped, her breath quickened with the fear and she tried to squirm away from Hans, his muscular stature forced her back to the wall. She scratched him, pushed him- tried to kick him, but his arms were too strong, he was too tall and muscular, she was too thin and short.

She tried to plead with him, but his hand muffled her. Hans stared at her face, but Elsa refused to stare back, looking at the ceiling, the locked door, the mirror, anything but the dizziness of his face. Hans drew his hand away from her mouth to pull down his pants, freeing his erected manhood.

"Hans... Hans please no I-... I'll do anything I w-wont tell anyone please.. please- don-on't" Elsa whispered her pleads, tears started to swell in her eyes, her hands pressed into the wall behind her, shaking with such ferocity they made hummingbird rhythms on the tile. Hans looked at her and smiled. She squirmed under his grip helplessly.

"Oh my darling, don't cry." Hans wiped her eyelids, Elsa still refusing to look at him. "Look at me." Hans demanded and moved his hand to her throat, squeezing it and threatening to break it. Elsa's vision blurred and she squirmed in fear- instinctively bringing her hands to her throat, trying to pull Hans's away. "Look at me!" Hans demanded again- and Elsa looked at him. His dark eyes were gleaming with satisfaction and evil. His fair skin contrasted with the blood red of his hair, and the longer she stared into those eyes the more frightened she became, the more his eyes seared into hers the more tears streamed down her face. And the more tears there were, the more satisfaction grew in his dark orbs.

Hans let go of her throat and Elsa inhaled sharply, before she could say a word Hand pulled a switch blade out of his jacket, holding it an inch away from her throat. Elsa began to shake uncontrollably, the fear clawing at her lungs was enough to make her start to sob.

"Stop it!" Hans growled at her and Elsa tried to control the rock of her breath. He traced her hips, sliding his hand into her underwear, stroking her. Elsa froze, her tears dripping off her face in consistency. She tried to block it out, she tried to disconnect herself from her body- forcing herself to take it, consume every blow without a flinch. Her lips quivered, her throat began to close each time she held back a sob.

Hans quickly took control of her, ripping off her jeans and inserting into her fiercely. Elsa went to scream in pain but the knife against her throat was a reminder of the consequences and instead Elsa squeezed her eyes shut and turned away. She cried hopelessly until Hans was finished, and when he was he grabbed a fistful of hair and forced her to face him.

"Look at me," He cooed gently. Elsa opened her swollen eyes and stared again into those dark, nerve-wracking eyes with fear. "You will not speak a word of this to anyone..." Hans pressed the blade against her throat again and waited for her to nod. Elsa nodded slowly and Hans pulled out of her, fixing his pants and turning away, leaving her there were she fell to the floor in dismay.

Elsa felt herself break, she felt the cracks, the filth.

Elsa stumbled to the door, locking it again and fell to her knees, sliding down the door and crumpling into a ball. Her hands shook and her breath was forced. She felt the pain and the shock consume her whole until there was nothing left but the sadness, the anger and the fear. This was her new life.

Present

Elsa fell to her knees and cried, her body rocking with sobs, her body shook and she kept repeating "No, please." Until Marco let go. Elsa pulled her hands close to her- the memories set on replay- over and over in her head, eating her alive.

Elsa waited until she caught her breath before she stood shakily, backing away from Marco and into the hallway.

"I'm so sorry Marco..." Elsa whimpered and turned, running down the hallway and into her bedroom, locking the door behind her, were she fell and screamed, the pain overwhelming her heart. She gripped her head in her hands, trying uselessly to stop the headache.

"Elsa," Marco pounded on the door, "Elsa, just... I still love you Elsa." Elsa's heart squeezed itself, skipping a beat, she had wanted those words for so long yet now they were ruined by the secret that haunted her life. Elsa looked up- staring at the mirror. How could he ever love me? I was never meant to be loved... Elsa curled into a ball.

"I love you Marco." Elsa said loud enough for him to hear. She felt herself breaking again, she stared at the blade- sitting on top of the desk, waiting for her.

"Let me in Elsa..." Marco tried turning the knob again, struggling against the lock.

"Don't you see?" Elsa sobbed again, she wanted nothing more then to open the door and let in Marco, to feel his skin against hers, to look into the emerald orbs that comforted her so gently. "I can't.." Elsa whispered, and pressed her forehead into her knees. Blocking out the sounds of the night, aware of Marco speaking to her through the door, but never hearing him. She stared at the mirror, the one thing in the world she hated most. The pain gnawed at her lungs, banging on her rib-cage ferociously. The monster inside of her grew stronger and made her sick to her stomach, Elsa whimpered and looked up at the ceiling, letting her gaze fall on the blade again.

"Don't do it Elsa." Marco whispered through the wooden barrier between them. He really was perfect enough to say the right thing at any given time. elsa flinched, holding her hands close to her chest. She used the doorknob to pull herself up and stared at the lock. She stared at it for so long her knees began to ache and both her ankles cracked, the entire time Marco whispered sweet-nothings to her. Elsa touched the lock and turned it, opening the door were the devious boy stood. She looked up at him, the tears streaming out of her face softly.

"Elsa please..." Marco moved forward and gently touched Elsa's cheek. Elsa stared at the emerald battlefield of his eyes, and she felt the guilt build in her chest. Marco ran his thumb under Elsa's eye, wiping her tears. At first Elsa flinched at the painfully familiar notion, the one that sent the memory through her mind again. What if Marco...

Elsa's gaze never left Marco's. No... Marco would never hurt me. And when Elsa looked up into his eyes she knew that she was right. Elsa touched Marco's jawbone, looked at him with desire- with hope. She closed her eyes and kissed him gently. Marco returned it sweetly, drawing back and setting his forehead against Elsa's.

For that moment Elsa felt a strange thing that began in her stomach and spread to her heart, she felt a natural smile creep on her face, she felt loved. She felt happiness and fulfillment. She felt like she belonged in her own skin again, and when Marco folded his arms around her she tucked herself into him, felling herself get a little stronger, a little tougher again.

Marco released her, and she pulled him to sit with her, the comfort of his presence lulled her to sleep, a sleep that felt natural, and eventually she heard his breath slow.

Elsa fell asleep for the first time in weeks, with Marco's arm draped across her.

.:*:.


	3. Welcome To Hell

She woke to the screaming alarm, jolting awake only to be constricted by Marco's arms. Elsa bit her lip and reached over to silence the alarm. Marco shifted next to her and she felt him sit up. She turned to look at him. His eyes were fogged with sleep, his jet black hair strewn in a mess. Elsa giggled and he looked down at her. She stared at the face of her friend she had known so well. His eyes held within them every shade of green, a mesmerizing maze of lines and colors. His lips shaped a perfect cupid's bow, his nose was ever so slightly crooked from a skateboarding accident Elsa had witnessed, his teeth were perfectly straight after years of braces- which Elsa had also witnessed. Marco seemed so perfect to her. He lifted a hand and caressed Elsa's jawbone and she placed her hand on top of his, holding it there- relishing the moment, trying to memorize the texture of his skin.

"Good morning Frostbite." Marco smiled at her- and she smiled back, feeling the warming of her heart opening up. Her breath was steady but grew a slightest bit quicker. She leaned herself into Marco- bringing her lips to his. Marco's kiss was breath taking, her mind stopped working, her body engulfed in the pleasure. She pulled back to inhale his breath, and he came back again, attacking her passionately, yet softly at the same time. She felt Marco's hands slide around her waist and trace her torso. Elsa let out a high pitched moan in his mouth, her hands running through his hair gently. Marco's kiss fled her lips and traced her shoulders, taking the sleeves of her sweater down. She felt the dizzy of her head, the fever of adrenaline burst through her veins- she pulled away, looking back at Marco. The memories told her it was wrong, to turn and run away. Instead, she stayed, the past was in the past, how could she let that impact her now? She wouldn't let Hans take more from her then he already had. Her eyes found Marco's.

His eyes looked nothing like Hans's, they were soft, gentle, full of life.

She smiled and kissed him, the joy of something she wanted so badly but never knew how- never knew how to be loved. Elsa let him take her shirt off, and she pushed him to his back, ripping off his shirt and kissing his each of his sculpted abs shyly. She was such an amateur, and she felt pathetic- but she wanted Marco badly enough to try. For years she had only dreamed of loving Marco in a way exceeding friendship, and having him seemed to consume her world. Marco, slipped the clasp of her bra off while she kissed him, his hands then returning to her hair. Elsa placed a knee on either side of his hips, feeling the erection through his pants touch her core. She gasped and Marco held her hipbones, grinding against her in a moment of pleasure. Elsa set her hands at the sides of his face- smirking playfully. She felt so happy- she didn't understand it at all, and for once she didn't even care. Marco's hands left her hips and traced circles on her back.

"Do you love me Marco?" Elsa looked down at his green orbs- titling her head so that her hair fell gracefully off her left shoulder. Marco's green met hers and he smiled playfully.

"Well now let me think..." Marco's eyes gleamed with sarcasm and Elsa rolled her eyes. " Elsa I love you." This time Marco pushed Elsa over, his knee in between her legs, and his arms at her sides. He leaned down to kiss her jaw, and whisper gently. "I love you Elsa, I can't say it enough."

Elsa's lungs clenched tightly, and she bite her lip with the growing wetness of her panties. Marco's hands fondled with Elsa' breasts, causing Elsa to let a long- exasperated moan escape her.

"Oh?" Elsa closed her eyes tight and smiled. "Prove it then." She giggled a little at the tickle of his hands brushing her rib-cage.

Marco paused, his pants and boxers had both found their way to the floor. He went to hook his hands into her pants- but Elsa stopped him before he brought back any memories- she didn't need them now. She slid her own pants off - taking her panties with them and adjusting herself underneath Marco. Her hands held onto his shoulders for dear life, and Marco positioned himself above her entrance- Elsa's breath quickening out of her control. Marco waited for Elsa to open her eyes- he gave her a last look of questioning, and Elsa paused.

Is this a mistake? Elsa looked back at Marco- his glorious features, his caring eyes and answered her own question as she ground her hips into his- letting his tip touch her entrance. Elsa inhaled sharply at the stream of pleasure hitting her spine electrically. She'd never experienced this before, and her leg muscles twitched at the new feeling. Marco leaned down to kiss her- his tongue barely touching the tops of her teeth. Elsa's body sparked and ignited with desire. Marco entered her slowly- and Elsa pulled away from Marco to let out a high pitched cry. Marco stopped, and then he pressed into her as deep as her could- her core tightening around him. Elsa's legs tried to clamp together at the pleasure, and Marco's knees pushed them back open, holding them far apart and causing Marco's erection to deepen inside of her. Elsa whispered Marco's name, and he removed on of Elsa's hands from his shoulder- linking it to his. Elsa stared at the link- her ribs pounding with ecstasy suddenly turned into passion. A strange feeling rising from her heart. Marco brought the link up to him, kissing her knuckles devilishly- and proceeding to pull out of her, creating a steady rhythm as he brought his lips to hers.

Elsa's toes began to curl as her insides warmed. A stream of moans escaped her throat, and Marco began to moan. Hid lips buried into the crook of her neck. Marco's speed quickened so suddenly that Elsa didn't have the time to cry out- her grip on Marco's hand turned her knuckles a new shade of white and her hand ran up Marco's neck- grabbing a clump of hair. Elsa's climax ran rampid through her blood stream, Marco's breath on her neck only fuel this. Elsa's legs trembled and she whimpered, Marco's dick throbbing inside of her.

"Marco.. Marcco I'm- I- " Elsa's words couldn't leave her throat through the stress of her climax- her core gripping Marco's erection tightly. Elsa's back arched suddenly as she orgasmed wildly. Just as she came, Marco pulled out of her- cumming on her thighs and her torso. Elsa's hands and arms went limp- the energy left her body as she tried desperately to catch her escaping breath. Marco rolled off of her, laying shoulder-to-shoulder with her.

Elsa's breath finally returned to her- and she looked back at the clock. They still had an hour to spare. Elsa smiled and grabbed Marco's hand- eagerly pulling him out of the bed and dragging him to the shower.

.:*:.

Marco and Elsa whispered quietly in the shower- the warm water washing away there morning escapade. Marco stood behind Elsa he took the soap in his hands and ran it down Elsa's back, rubbing her shoulders gently. Elsa pulled her platinum-pale hair over the left side of her shoulder, running even paler white fingers through it. Marco's hands soothing her skin therapeutically.

"How long?" Elsa whispered to him, Marco chuckled softly and she blushed at the sexuality of the question. "How long have you like me?" She corrected herself.

Marco sighed behind her. "hmmm... remember the summer before 9th grade-" You mean when everything was perfect and simple? Elsa did, she remembered it being so normal at the time- but she craved the sweetness of it again. "-and we went to the pool, we were swimming and my braces got caught on the neck tie of your bathing suit?" Elsa couldn't help but giggle at the sweet memory. " Right around then. You?" Elsa flushed, her breath becoming swollen with the agony of this strange feeling.

"I guess... when we first met in eight grade... and you tried to be a show off- and ended up breaking your nose skateboarding." She didn't have to look to know that Marco was blushing. She felt him looming over her shoulder, and she turned to look at him. She traced his jawbone with a single, gently finger and kissed his neck- she stayed there sucking the skin with her passion. She pulled away and pecked the purple mark she left, smiling at her work. Marco looked down at her- his eyes gleaming playfully and he returned her favor- leaving a mark on her shoulder. Elsa turned off the faucet, feeling Marco wrap her in the warmth of a towel.

they stumbled out of the shower- drying themselves quickly. Elsa slink-ed out into the room and Marco searched it for his clothes- only to find Elsa looming in the bathroom doorway with them. She smirked at him and held them out to him, tucking the towel into itself while she slid his shirt over him and zipped his pants. She straightened the few wrinkles out of his sleeves- the idea of un-dressing Marco was so sexy, but there was something about dressing him again that made the pounding in her chest much stronger. Elsa let the towel fall and Marco took his turn at clasping Elsa's bra for her, sliding the fabric of a long sleeved white shirt over her torso. Elsa slipped into her jeans, her eyes gleaming. She turned back to Marco, who was leaning again the counter, smirking contently. Marco's gaze shifted to Elsa's sleeve. Her eyes followed the veiw of his green orbs, landing on her right arm, were her sleeve was rolled into itself and her red scars stood out brightly, Elsa went to pull the sleeve down, her heart falling.

He still saw them...

Elsa shivered at the thought that crawled back into her mind, but before she could pull the sleeve down Marco's hand stopped her. He grasped her wrist gently, bringing it up to his face. Elsa watched him with shock, not expecting what was to come. Marco's eyes never left her face until her arm was up to him. He looked at the scars, leaning down to them, and bringing his lips gently to each one, Elsa's chest pounded, her eyes started to water. She felt the pain of every scar disintegrate at his touch. Marco released Elsa gently his eyes returning to hers. Elsa stared back uncontrollably, the features of his face so gentle and toneless.

There was another screech from Elsa's alarm, and she broke the stare to go and click the buzzer, 30 minutes until the first day of her junior year, Anna's freshmen.

Anna. Shit.

Elsa ran out of her room, looking into the kitchen to see if her sister was there, she flew to Anna's door, knocking but hearing no reply.

"Anna? Anna are you in there?" She pressed her ear to the door- she could hear the heavy snoring and she reached for the knob, turning it slowly and peeking inside. Her sister had set up fairly quickly, the bedpost had been there previously from when Elsa was a sophomore and had given a roommate a place to stay, and they had left it there. Anna's sheets were an assortment of yellows and greens, boxes still piled in the room but the dresser was obviously full and the closet had been fully stocked with Anna's preppy clothes. Elsa slid across the floor, again calling out to the redhead.

"Anna? Anna get up." Her sister stirred- but snored on. Elsa nervously walked up to her- the girl's hair was a huge mess of a rat's nest and a line of drool pooled out of her lip. Elsa held back a giggle and touched Anna's shoulder. "Anna. Anna get up your going to be late." Anna rolled over- facing away from Elsa.

"Go away mom... school doesn't start for another hour." Elsa's eyes watered, she drew her hand away and clasped it over her mouth- trying not to sob at the surprising reference to her mother. She shook herself lightly and tugged at Anna again, speaking a little louder and urgently.

"Anna get up, Come on Anna." When she pulled at Anna, she felt the girl start to sit up, Anna looked over at her tiredly and stretched her arms.

"Oh, Elsa hey uhm.. I uh..." Anna began to fall asleep again, a tiny snore erupting from her lungs. Elsa held her up, shaking her very softly again.

"Anna come on- its your first day of high school remember?" At this Anna looked over at the clock, seeing it was almost 6:30, and they had to leave Elsa's apartment at 6:50 to get to Fallen High School on time. Anna jumped out of bed, and raced across to room to gather the clothes she had picked out on her dresser.

"Thank you Elsa, Oh my god- I can't believe I did that!" Anna raced out of the room and Elsa smiled, she was so happy. She had her beautiful sister, and yeah they had to work on some things but she had her sister again. She had the love of her life, sitting in her room waiting for her, and in this one night of spilling her secret to him- her memories had started to calm down, what had been haunting her for so long was replaced by this overwhelming power that clouded her mind and made her smile again, gave her this feeling that felt so foreign.

She felt invincible, she felt as if the wind and sky were suddenly her own.

She felt happy again.

.:*:.

Elsa pulled into the student parking lot, Anna was bouncing in the backseat nervously. Marco leaned over to kiss Elsa on the cheek, and smile at her. The three clambered out of the car, and Elsa turned her nose ring- a nervous habit she had developed. The parking spot they were given was the farthest one away from the building, giving them a good 5 minute walk. As they walked Elsa noticed Anna gripping her own shoulder with discomfort. Elsa searched quickly for something to say, gripping her sleeves again. Don't let her see.

"You look beautiful," The words escaped her - and she looked at her little sister sympathetically. Anna wore a tight fitting tee shirt, one that wasn't too provocative and was just the right amount of conservative. She had light blue jeans - and a pair of vans. She looked alot like Elsa did when she was a freshman, Elsa shivered at the thought, Hans had left and gone back to Norway not long after-. Elsa stopped herself, Anna would be fine, not ever boy in the world was a rapist, Marco's presence at her side reminded her of that.

"Oh.. Thank you." Anna looked back at Elsa with a small smile. "You look beautifuller! i mean not beautifuller- not fuller- I mean more beautiful..." Anna stuttered with nerves and Elsa stared at the pretty ginger, was Anna... afraid of her?

"Thank you." Elsa smiled back at her. Okay she understood the whole nose ring- dark eyeliner thing but was Elsa really scary? The thought left a dent in Elsa's stomach. As they approached the high school building Anna spotted some of her middle school friends and waved, throwing a glance and a smile back at Elsa before hurrying off to the group of prep kids. Elsa's glance drifted over to another small group of kids sitting by the doors, a boy with hair- bleached whiter then snow was leaning against the wall. beside him was a very short, curvy girl with bright eyes- and a pair of boys who were both tall and mean looking, the group was laughing hysterically and the boy with frosted hair looked up at Elsa, meeting her eyes for a split second. Elsa was about to ask Marco if he knew them, but suddenly someone bumped in her shoulder, Elsa stumbled a little and Marco stopped her from falling.

"I'm so sorry- I" She heard a deep voice linger, a voice that had haunted her for so long. A voice that she would never forget. Her heart fell, her head thundered with the migraine, her lungs constricted.

Run. She felt a scream form in the back of her throat, the grip on Marco's hand tightened, and her breath quickened. Her knees began to tremble as she tried to stand up, still not facing the figure.

"Elsa, are you okay?" Marco whispered to her gently. She was defiantly not okay, but she nodded slowly, despite the boiling of her blood, the tears clouding in her eyes.

"Oh, Elsa, don't you remember me?" She felt the hand on her shoulder and curled at the disgust in her stomach. the fear was all to real, she turned around to look into the eyes that reminded her of hell, the eyes that inspired every cut she left on her body. The memories coming back all to quickly as she looked up at Hans.


	4. Anxiety

Elsa started into the endless pits that were Hans's eyes. They were so dark- evil. Elsa's heart pounded, her knees trembled with fear and she remembered his words sourly. "You will not speak a word of this to anyone..." When Elsa looked back at the evil figure- she could see his was thinking the same thing. Don't let them know. Elsa forced herself to hold her own weight- despite the burning in her stomach and the electricity of her head that pounded on her temples.

Run. Her instincts screamed at her- the memories running coarse through her blood but Elsa forced a nervous smile into her face.

'Oh, H-Hans, yes I... I..." Elsa paused to gulp- the tears threatening to cloud her eyes. Hans looked at her with concern, hold her shoulder what would look 'gently' but really, he was squeezing her angrily.

"Elsa are you alright?" Elsa felt herself growing more fearful by the seacond, every word in her body itched at her to run, she felt her hands shake ferociously with anxiety. Run. Run. RUN.Elsa struggled to steady her breath.

"Yes I'm fine thank you- I have to go- now." Elsa turned without Marco and walked swiftly for the doors. She could feel Hans's gaze burning her back. Marco trotted behind her protectively. Elsa tried to calm herself again- but the adrenaline turned her veins to fire. Se felt the migraine return.

Cut.

Elsa gripped her shoulders intensely.

"Elsa?" Marco touched her back softly, the touch frightened Elsa, and the familiarity sent fear up her spine intensely. Elsa jumped back, turning around so quickly she fell backwards landing on her back- the memories growing strong enough to send her falling into their abyss.

Memory

Later in Elsa's Freshman Year.

Elsa's head spun with the nerves, her heart pulsated loudly. She looked over her shoulder, she already knew that Hans was there but the evil darkness of his eyes still sent shock waves of fear through her blood. Please don't follow me. Just this once please don't follow me.

Elsa curled into herself, the hatred for Hans swirling through the raging storm inside. He had taken everything from her. She stopped talking to her friends-who all thought she was a freak now- with the exception of Marco. She quit the cheer leading team to avoid getting close to anyone. She departed with her parents and her sister, because every time that she saw Anna's bright green orbs or her loving parents all she wanted to do was cry, break down and tell them every detail.

But she couldn't do that.

"You will not speak a word of this to anyone..." Hans's words vibrated in her head, refusing to leave her be. She cringed and looked over her shoulder again. He was following her- she knew it and there was no escape. As the halls began to empty, Elsa tried her hardest to quicken her pace. She needed to go home. She couldn't hide anywhere. There was nowhere to go.

It had become routine, Elsa tried to leave school- Hans followed her outside until she was alone.

Elsa stayed at school- lingering in the hallways and library, he would find other ways to lure her into the bathroom or the locker room.

Three months it had continued. Three months and her world was suddenly too dark to see were she was going- a hand covering the light switch, Hans.

Elsa fled the doors quickly, she knew out running Hans was useless, he always caught up to her before she could reach anywhere public. She stared at the field behind Fallen High School, the long stretch between were she stood and the back roads leading to her apartment complex. She took a deep breath, tried not to cry and began her walk. She bit her lip until it bled- the screeching agony clotting up her insides. Elsa shivered despite the spring-time warmth.

Hans eventually caught up to her, she knew that he loved every moment of her torture. She could tell that he loved the way he would fond ways to surprise her, but this time instead of scaring her he set his hand on her back softly. The feel of him touching her sent cold, shell-shocked waves of disgust to her throat, the nausea caused bile to rise in her throat. she tried to slow down, knowing that Hans would never try his games out on the field, but the hand on her back push her steadily forward.

Elsa looked over her shoulder at the student parking lot that was so close to empty, she begged that Hans would turn around, at this point she always begged that Hans would have a reason to leave, but he never did. Today was no exception.

"Come now slut. I have a new job for you I think you might like it." His breath trickled in her ear and she felt the bile rise in her throat. Hans took her by the wrist, yanking her towards an alleyway that branched off of the field, he had dragged her there before and she focused on her memo.

Don't feel, Don't feel.

Elsa had repeated this saying enough to know exactly how to disconnect herself from her body. As Hans forced her against the wall like usual she focused on the sky, the patterns in the bricks of the alleyway. The tone of a barking dog not far away. Elsa was aware of the switchblade's presence on her throat- it was all too familiar a sensation. Elsa was also vaguely aware of Hans entering her- another notion she learned not to focus on, yet it still pained her emotions the entire time. Elsa bite her lip again, focusing on not crying- she knew it only gave Hans more satisfaction, and she wasn't willing to give him that. To avoid touching him she always left her hands on the walls- avoiding any kind of contact with his filth. Hans stopped, unusual for him since he usually pulled out only right before he came. This notion frightened her to the bones, she tried uselessly to keep her breath steady, the depression crawling through her skin turned quickly into the anticipation of Hans's next move. He pulled Elsa's pants up at then his own. She looked at him with terror- and once she saw the satisfaction in his eyes she tried to conceal her emotion.

He drew the switchblade away from her neck, suddenly his hand was at her throat. He's going to kill me. Elsa contained herself as Hans lifted her off the ground. She felt her trachea close- she refused to bring her hands up to protect herself. She felt her skin burn- her lungs screamed at her for air but she didn't comply, she kept herself still- willing Hans on.

Just do it already.

I'm better off dead.

She didn't even realize that she was smiling.

Right as she felt her head dizzy and her eyes water Hans let go- Elsa fell to her knees, this time the sobs refused to be contained, and she cried uncontrollably.

"Just do it! Just kill me already..." Elsa sobbed profusely, not caring if this made Hans happy or exited or turned on. Hans grabbed her by her hair- lifted her face to look at him.

"You filthy whore," Hans spit, and just missed her face by an inch. "You don't deserve to die." Hand knelt down to her, the switch blade tucked away in his jacket. "However, I know a few people who would... If you ever told anyone..." Hans took a photograph and placed in on the ground in front of her. Elsa looked down to see the smiling faces of her parents and Anna. Her body trembled, her sobs stopped- fueled by utter and cruel hatred. Hands sat up with a smirk spread wide across his face. Elsa waited until he walked away and left her in the alley to pick up the photograph and hold it close to her chest.

"I won't let him hurt you Anna,"

Present

Elsa hadn't seen Hans since that day, the memory still hung in the air around her, and Marco's touch on her back re-fueled the agony. Elsa rambled, struggling to not cry.

"Elsa?" MArco looked down at her, half of him was scared the other half of him was concerned. He leaned down and picked Elsa back up to her feet. Elsa rubbed her shoulders. Almost two years and she was still living the nightmare. Elsa came close to Marco his arm was protective and strong. "Elsa, what are you so afraid of?" Elsa glanced around- the hallway was almost empty. She checked her sleeves, balling them into her fists again.

"Nothing Marco, I-... I'm just jumpy or something I don't know what's wrong with me." The bell rang over head and kids started to crowd the halls again, Elsa and Marco moved to the side to avoid being trampled by the stampeding teenagers. Marco looked at her for a few long moments, he knew she wasn't okay, even after Elsa gave hi a very believable smile. Elsa looked over the multiple heads of the slowly dissipating students. Where is he? She shook herself lightly.

Marco touched her cheek gently, and she let him kiss her- the warming of her lungs filled her again. She felt safe, warm, almost at home again within Marco's kiss.

"Come on Frostbite," Marco said softly as he pulled away, and link her hand with his. Elsa sighed in relief- relishing the moments she had with Marco- the moments were she felt as if she had the strength to stand.

.:*:.

3rd period, 5th period and 7th period. The only classes she had without Marco. 3rd period was English, she sat in the back of the classroom- alone and lost in a whirlpool of nothing. She kept her mind blank. That was how she kept herself from thinking about Hans, or Anna, or Marco. A few seconds before the bell rang the boy with hair that reminded her of snow bolted into the classroom, looking around and smiling when he saw Elsa.

Elsa pretended she didn't see him, and when he found the seat next to her she scribbled doodles in her notebook. She watched him through the corners of her eyes, a skill she had mastered so well. She felt something hit her forehead with a crinkling noise- and looked up to three giggling girls in the row before her- looking back and mouthing 'LOSER!' in unison. She flicked the balled up wad of paper off her desk- blocking out every comment that she heard through their gossipy conversations.

"OMG she is SO pale- what does she live in a cave? Maybe she's a vampire." The girls snickered. Elsa remembered her days in middle school and at the beginning of her freshmen year, drama and gossip used to consume her life- she hung out with the preppy girls, actually- THESE girls. She looked at them through the corner of her eyes. There were two girls with black hair and green eyes- Twins, Sophie and Rhi. She had known them for so long, the other one was a curvy girl with brown hair and big brown eyes- Courtney, Elsa went to elementary school and middle school with her.

"Wow nice nose ring, is it so that the farmers can find you in a crowd?" the girls laughed again and Elsa focused on the lines of her paper, jealously swirled in her stomach- the jealousy of being so plain. Envy rose through her lungs- and she rolled her eyes, the envy for simplicity. Suddenly all three of the girls gasped in shock, causing Elsa to flick her gaze back up at them. The girls were staring at the boy next to her, a rolled up piece of paper was flipping in his hand.

"Did you seriously just do that?" Sophie rolled her eyes at him and the boy leaned up close to her.

"Did YOU seriously just do THAT." The boy flicked his hair towards Elsa and she blushed, cowering back in her chair.

The girls rolled there eyes, Courtney smirked at Elsa.

"Oh nice body guard shitface," The girls all turned back around, turning there attention to the rambling teacher. Elsa looked at the boy angrily.

"Why did you do that?" Elsa whispered so that only he could hear.

"Cause I know what its like to be bullied." The boy turned- the mirror of his face reminded Elsa of herself. His eyes were much lighter then hers, they had a turquoise glint to them. When he turned Elsa noticed a bruise on his cheek and a long- thin scar on his forehead. When she looked closer she found more and more bruises and scars, as if the boy was being beaten constantly.

"You didn't have to do that," Elsa puffed and propped her head up on her hand. She could feel the boy next to her staring.

"I'm Jack, I just came here from Maine, Can I ask your name?" Jack's head tilted to the side playfully and Elsa played her fake smile.

"Elsa, Elsa Aren."

"Jack Frost." Jack held out his hand. Elsa looked at him oddly and took it lightly- his touch was freezing.

She let go, and focused in on her paper, she talked quietly to Jack throughout class, his soft voice and childish memos took her mind off the spinning world around her.

.:*:.

Elsa breathed in sharply- she wandered the hallways alone within a crowd of people. She kept looking over her shoulder- all around, she kept making sure that Hans's disgusting filth was nowhere near her. She spotted the mid-length black bob of hair and the bright green eyes- pushing through girls and boys to get to him and curl up in his grasp. She felt so cliche- running back to her protector, but she couldn't help the smile that played over her lips. She felt Marco's touch calm her raging nerves.

"Well hey there Forstbite, you okay?" Marco said softly when Elsa released him. Elsa smiled, looking up at him and taking his hand- again checking her sleeves. They were fine- hidden. Conceal it. When Elsa looked back up she found Hans glaring back down at her. Don't Feel it. Elsa stumbled backwards, into Marco's shoulder and she forced a smile onto her face- it felt so painful and stung on her face.

"Oh- Elsa!" Anna appeared behind Hans- jumping up and down cheerfully. "Hans this is Elsa- Elsa this is Hans." Elsa felt herself flush- she looked back at Hans, her face flushed, she felt the hole in her stomach start to eat itself.

"Oh I believe we have met before." Hans smiled at Elsa, causing her hands to curl and a fearful chill dominated her.

"Yes, we have." Elsa replied as calmly as she could- she remembered the way she used to talk to her parents when she came home from school with tears in her shirt or bruises on her body. The memory pained her enough to make her bite her lip- but she saw the way Hans looked in her- as if daring her to tell someone just so he could have the last laugh at destroying her.

"Oh good!" Anna held onto Hans's shoulder- the image making Elsa nauseous. The thought of Hans, doing to Anna what he had done to her, sent cold spikes of rage through her stared at his dark orbs, Don't you dare. "I mean me and Hans are so much alike-" No your not, he's vicious, he took everything from me- and you are my bright-faced sister, my only treasure I have left. "He's from Norway isn't that cool?" Elsa nodded and smiled at the little redhead. Oh Anna please I have to get you away from him! Elsa looked at Anna. Back at Hans, back at Anna again.

"Anna can I talk to you please?" Elsa didn't wait for an answer she took Anna by her arm and pulled her through the crowd, waiting until she was out of Hans's sight.

"Elsa what is it what is your problem?" Anna asked her with a bright blush of red- people were staring at her, not because of anything she had said or done, simply because she was with Elsa. "Seriously I was just making a friend I know he's-"

"Anna you have to trust me on this please." Elsa brought her hands up to her chest and gripped the sleeves nervously. "Please Anna just trust that just this one guy- just Hans-" Elsa felt herself getting choked up and had to lean against the lockers next to her. "Please Anna not Hans, anybody else."

Anna looked at her and scoffed. "Oh you think that now that I live with you - you can just tell me who to be Elsa? Where were you three years ago when I started middleschool and needed someone to tell me who to be? huh? Where were you Elsa- you left me, don't tell me who to be. Son;t pretend that it didn't hurt the way you just upped and left me one day Elsa." At this point people who had been staring had started to crowd around them, Elsa recognized faces- Courtney, The curvy girl that she had seen with Jack, Wesely- a small boy with big glasses. Hans. The anger- the pain- the fear, the emotions started to weigh on her again. She felt the world begin to slip away until there was nobody there but Anna. She saw Anna's face, she saw the anger- she saw Anna's lips moving but the words never reached her ears. Elsa's knees began to give way- followed by the trembling and the tears. She watched Anna's face turn to shock- then disgust as Elsa fell off her feet, her hands barely catching her. Elsa looked up at Anna- She saw the ginger scoff and turn away from her, Elsa stared back at the floor, back at her hands. The anxiety began to close in on her, she fellt herself stop breathing. The cloud of soffocation overcoming her.

She really does hate me.

Conceal it, Don't Feel it.

"You will not speak a word of this to anyone."

Elsa I still love you.

I know what it's like to be bullied.

Cut.

Elsa's rib cage finally collapsed and she felt herself go limp as her vision blurred out black.


	5. Shoulders and Burdens

Elsa awoke to a flash of brilliant green eyes to her left- a mop of frosty white hair to her right- the ramble of a high pitched voice and then two sets of tall arms picking her up. Elsa steadied herself against one of the figures- looking up to see a friendly-faced boy with dark brown hair and broad shoulders- she peered to her left, a boy with electric blue locks and gauges looked at her with a stiff face.

"Ey- princess, you okay?" The one with the gauges spoke in an Australian accent. Elsa struggled to stand- leaning against both the boys for support- she nodded, the tears still streaming off her face.

"Jesus Bunny can you leave it be the girlie is obviously not okay." The dark haired one spoke with a deep voice that rattled the air around them, the kind that reminded Elsa of bass on a really bad rap song. The voice behind her that was rambling on belonged to a very short, curvy girl that popped up in front of her.

The girl had huge blue eyes and her hair was dyed every color Elsa could think of.

"Oh are you hurt? You have a bump on your head, aw poor thing but you sure are pretty. Oh let me see- oh no is your tooth alright?" Elsa gave her a strange look and brought her hand up to her lips, her mouth was numb and she felt blood drizzling off from were she had hit her face on the tile of the hallway.

She looked up at Marco, her lungs constricting- he looked so worried. Elsa stepped away from the three strangers and buried her face in Marco's chest, she started sobbing hysterically.

"Oh no was it something I said?" She could hear the tiny girl behind her peep.

"Give her some space guys!" She heard Jack shout at all of the strangers harshly. They all waited, and Elsa cried for a few more- long moments. Slowly catching her breath and letting herself breathe. The anxiety clouded in her chest came to a stop at the feeling of Marco's hand on the back of her head. She turned out of Marco's grip, his hand linking with hers easily. Elsa studied the group of misfits that seemed to linger with Jack.

The curvy girl was tiny, she couldn't have been taller then 4'9 or 4'10. She had a worried expression and seemed to always have a huge energy presence with her. The boy with gauges was tall, but not as tall as his dark haired friend who loomed at a good 6'6 or 6'7. With Jack stood one more character. The boy had sunny blonde hair and big, brown eyes. His skin was covered in freckles, he stood at Jack and Marco's height.

Jack looked at Elsa apologetically, "I'm sorry I never got to introduce you to my friends and my siblings." Siblings, Elsa bit her lip, the word all to fresh in her mind. "This is my sister Tooth." The curvy girl scoffed- her one canine tooth was turned sideways in her mouth awkwardly- way too noticeable. "And my brother North, because you know - he's so high up." Jack smiled kiddish-ly and pointed up at the brown haired boy. North face-palmed and shook his head. "This is Benny- but you can call him Bunny, he replies to that."

"Aye! Not cool!" The boy with blue hair and the gauges replied with a sharp sock to Jack's head.

"And this is Sandy." The boy with the intense amount of freckles smiled and waved. Elsa stared at the group with a funny expression, they were all so... real. It seemed so off in a world full of fake- this group wasn't afraid of anything. They all looked at her awkwardly and she stared but.

"Oh! Oh- uhm... I'm Elsa, and this is Marco. " Elsa stuttered nervously and the group went on with rambling. Tooth insisted on making sure Elsa was okay and fluttered around them nervously.

Elsa smiled, even though on the inside- the pressure of a secret weighed down on her heart like a bullet she was balancing in between her teeth.

.:*:.

Elsa couldn't gather the strength to step into the apartment doors, even with Marco at her side she her shaking hands wouldn't allow the key to make it into the doorknob. She and Marco made a break for his place, a place that Elsa rarely came to- but had felt like a second home over the years.

Marco lived with several other foster kids, she knew each of them- but had always stopped at surface level, to make sure so wouldn't open herself up to anyone, or possibly give Hans more people to hurt. His only 'real' sibling was Miza, a second grader- who had the most adorable speech impediment ever, and was completely in love with Elsa.

As soon as Marco opened the door- Miza was there, stuck to his legs like glue. Elsa couldn't contain a giggle as Marco walked up the stairs with the tiny girl latched onto his calf yelling 'WHEE!' and laughing so loudly it would have woken anything that was sleeping within a 20 mile radius. Elsa stared at the two with a certain envy, the tiny girl only refreshing the memories of Anna, Elsa bit her lip to keep from sobbing.

Once they settled themselves in Marco's room, which he shared with three foster brothers, Miza scrambled off his leg- once she realized Elsa was there her eyes went wide and gazed at her. It had become a routine for Elsa to sweep up the tiny girl and throw her up into the air, sit back on the bed and have the tiny girl settling on her knees. Elsa's heart thundered with that forgein feeling, Miza was the brightest thing she knew. The purest thing she knew.

"E-sa!" The tiny girl giggled and tried to say Elsa's name, her speech impediment not allowing her to pronounce her 'L's. "I U-ve you E-sa!" The girl tried her best to welcome Elsa in her usual way- and hugged Elsa around the neck, her tiny head resting on Elsa's shoulder. Elsa smiled- again the tears started clouding at her eyes. Why couldn't everything be this easy? She hugged Miza back, and when Miza released her, Elsa smirked.

"I bet I love you more!" And with this, Elsa picked the tiny girl up and threw her back on the bed, tickling her stomach until the girl laughed so hard she lost her voice. The eight year old jumped off the bed and sat on the floor in front of Elsa.

"Brai my hair, E-sa, brai my hair!" Miza wiggled with joy, 'D' was another weak point in Miza's speech. Elsa laughed again at the girl - on the outside, she was so happy, happy to have this tiny girl that was yet another small being she had a strong relationship with, and at the same time, she was slowly being destroyed. She wanted this with Anna, but Anna was growing into an adult, she was become more of a grown up- and that meant the threat of accidentally telling- having her secret accidentally creep up on her.

Elsa gulped down her sobs and turned her attention to Miza, who was wiggling on the floor and practically begging for Elsa's attention.

"Well you have to sit still silly!" Elsa smiled and ran her finger's through the girls hair, beginning a braid.

While she braided the child's silky black hair, she felt Marco beside her, his hand tracing circled on her back. She was in the happiest place she had ever known. Right in between the love of her life and the light of her life. Right in between the boy she could never tell anything, and the toddler that she never needed to tell anything. Once Elsa finished the braid, Miza stood up and turned to look at her with huge- green eyes. The difference between Marco and Miza was close to none.

"Miza, did you do your homework yet?" Marco questioned the little girl with a grin.

"No..." Miza smiled and swayed on her feet.

"Did you feed the cats?"

"No..."

"Did you make your bed?"

"No..." By that Miza was smiling and giggling happily. She grinned at her 'rebelliousness', a mirror image of what Marco would have been.

Elsa chimed in on the familiar conversation, one that the three had almost every time Elsa was at Marco's house.

"You know what that means?" Elsa smiled again and raised a brow to the tiny girl.

Miza looked up at her- her green eyes sparkling with excitement.

"It means the tickle monster is going to have to get you." Elsa said in very plainly but sprung up from the bed and Miza ran out of the room screaming.

"No! No no tick-i monster!" Miza ran laughing out of the room- and they heard the door to her room close shortly after.

Elsa sat back on the bed, she could feel Marco begin to wrap his arms around her. She leaned into his touch- resting her head against his chest.

"You know, you don't have to love her, just because she's my sister." Sister. Elsa shivered. She couldn't even fix the relationship with her own sister, and here she was loving all over Marco's like she had the day she met her, the girl was still tiny, and bright- filled with an uncontrollable energy.

"But I already do," Elsa sniffled against his shoulder- feeling the tears of her insides rattle all over her. Slowly they began to free themselves from her eyelids, soaking Marco's shirt. "I wish I could tell you." The words left her mouth before she could stop them, and her hand flew to her mouth. The wall in between what she knew was right and what she thought was right was beginning to crumble. She began to shake again against Marco's shoulder.

You don't deserve to die... but I know some people who will... if you ever tell.

The memory replayed in her mind- over and over until she was sobbing hysterically into Marco's side.

"Tell me what Elsa?" That I was raped. Marco held her close to him tightly, she felt herself melt into his shoulder.

"I can't tell you Marco- Oh god I want to tell you- I want to tell everybody but he'll hurt you, he'll hurt everybody." Elsa sobbed into his shoulder rapidly. Her mind was a buzz- the fear rose in her throat until it began to strangle her like a noose, Elsa took a ball of Marco's shirt in her shaking hands. The images flooding into her memory freely- every time he had ever touched her, every day that he had backed her into a hallway, or an alley way or a bathroom.

"Who is he?" Marco murmured gently, but the question remained unanswered over Elsa's heart and she shook her head. "What if he never knew you told me Elsa, it can be our secret just you and me." The words ran through Elsa's mind like a drug- a painkiller and she pulled away- her sore blue orbs searing into his emerald ones desperately.

"Promise?" Elsa bite her lip to prevent the shaking of her voice and stared into Marco.

"I promise." One of Marco's hands met hers and he linked it perfectly. His eyes were true- his voice ringing over her like a beacon of light- a symbol of hope. Elsa felt the sobs return- and tried to choke them down- she leaned into his ear, her heart thudding a million miles per second. The blood rushed through her ears in panic, her lungs refused to let her breathe.

It took her well over thirty minutes, but she finally found her voice, and with it she whispered quietly into his ears the words that had haunted her for three years.

"He raped me."

.:*:.

Elsa sat upright in her bed, her legs were crossed and she stared at the black and blue sheets. Her hands picked at a loose string- heart pulsating, mind tangled in thought, arms bare of sleeves. Marco sat next to her- lost in the question of what to do next. They came back to Elsa's apartment in silence- it was late and Anna was already in bed. Elsa tried to tell Marco to go to sleep but he refused- staying up with her despite the thick air in between them.

"What do u want me to do Elsa?" the question broke the air and Elsa's stomach flipped. She cold come up with a thousand things she didn't want Marco to do- but when she thought of what he could do to help her, her mind went blank.

"Kiss me." Elsa whimpered and the tears fell rhythmically from her eyes. "just stay here, please. Don't leave me Marco please." She felt Marco stir beside her, and they crawled into the sheets. Marco sat up and leaned again the bedpost, Elsa placed her head on his shoulder. He kept kissing her forehead- stroking her hair and her back but never going farther. She couldn't explain to him how much it hurt- how all she wanted was for him to take her. All she wanted was to be able to replace all her terrifying memories with his glorious ones. Sex was a fear to her- before that night with Marco. She needed him, she wanted to know that he loved her, She wanted him to understand that despite her experiences she loved him too.

Elsa cradled his jaw softly, looking up into his eyes. his orbs never stopped moving, never stopped changing. They were angry- yet soft, sad yet relieved, anxious- yet completely humbled. She brought his lips to hers- for a slow, heartbroken kiss. His lips locking with hers for what seemed like forever. The salty tears that rolled down her face were no longer fearful, they held the burden of guilt. The guilt of placing her secret on Marco's shoulders. He broke the kiss, running a hand through her un-done hair and whispering softly in Elsa's ear.

"I love you so much Elsa, I would never leave you," Marco found her hand again and linked it. Elsa curled into him - letting more tears and fretful 'I'm sorry's escape her. She cried until she felt the emptiness consume her- and when there were no tears left, she closed her eyes.

"I love you" Elsa whispered into the dense air in between her and Marco.

Marco kissed her forehead.

"I love you Frostbite." And with a kiss lingering on her forehead, and her eyes swollen from sobs, she fell asleep in her proctor's arms.


	6. Sex, Sisters and Scars

The density of the air around her was suffocating, as if it needed a filter ran through it. Elsa shifted, her hand coming over Marco's with a familiar comfort. It was early enough for darkness to still stand, settled around her room as if it had been home to the shadows for centuries. She rolled herself over, feeling Marco stir. She pressed her hands to his chest- feeling his arms tighten the slightest around her, guarding her from the night. His legs was propped outwards slightly and it found its way in between hers. Elsa twitched at the sudden feel, and this made Marco open his eyes- his pools drawing her in. She stared at the beautiful mazes, her hand finding its way up Marco's shoulder. She traces every inch of his skin, from his back to his neck and through his hair her hands roamed- finding comfort in even the tiniest crack and crevices in his skin. Marco placed a sweet kiss on her lips- but never intensified it.

Elsa knew Marco only wanted to abide to her comfort zone after the unsettling telling of secrets from the day before. It made Elsa's heart drop despite his kindness, it made her head fill with worthlessness. She took it upon herself to intensify the kiss, speeding her breath and her tongue daring entrance to Marco's mouth. She brought herself closer to him- his knee touching her sensitive core and Elsa released a gasp. She looked back at Marco- his arms clutched her back and his eyes burned with a passion.

"Elsa," Marco's breath was hot against her lips and she pressed herself into him- her body hungry for him. He suddenly stood- effortlessly bringing her off the bed with him. She wrapped her legs around his torso- her chest pressed hard against him.

His lips never left hers and they stumbled across the room, Marco fumbling them both into the bathroom and closing the door. His lips fled and danced across her shoulders while he placed her on the counter. His hands grazing her ass before gripping her thighs. They lost there clothes in a matter of seconds, each dropping to the floor flawlessly.

Marco's hands grazed her thighs, coming close to her entrance and never touching her. Elsa moaned with the frustration, and locked her hand around a fistful of Marco's hair. His lips found there way slowly down her collarbone- to her sternum and locked on her breast.

Elsa held back and cry- letting a line of moans escape her. Her breath was soon lost, and her lungs began to ache. He swirled his tongue around her nipple- and suddenly bit down on it.

"Marco!" Elsa cried with the shock waves of pleasure that flooded her nerves. She could feel her wetness dripping onto her thighs, and Marco's hands continued to play dirty tricks on her, coming close to her slowly and barely touching her before darting away deviously.

Elsa squirmed and gasped at the trickery- her other hand finding the edge of the counter were she held on tight enough to break her fingers. Marco returned to her mouth- kissing her hard. Elsa could hardly contain another moan as Marco kissed her- only breaking for a short-lived breath before returning. Elsa pulled away- smirking at her own idea and sliding off the counter, she turned the faucet of the shower on, pulling Marco into the steam. They kissed in a tangle of hands and lips until Elsa broke free of him, smirking against his lips and slipping onto her knees. His manhood was at a full erection- throbbing and twitching. She ran her hand over the shaft, the pleasure of Marco's moans rattling her ears. She took his shaft into her mouth- playfully flicking his tip with her tongue while he grabbed at the hair just behind her ear. The stimulation caused her to pull away and let a high pitched moan escape her. While holding her soft-spot Marco took Elsa into his arms again. Gripping her thighs and setting her against the wall.

Elsa didn't think of Hans once- her mind was lost in Marco's emerald eyes and shadow-black hair, her memory was washed away by the perfect line of his lips and the gleaming white of his teeth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, grinding her hips against his to release a cry. Her legs were twitching and her toes curled, Marco held her steady and entered her. They glided together - Elsa grinding her hips in synchronicity to Marco's rhythm. Her core tightened around Marco and his erection throbbed, causing her back to arch and her fingers to clench into fists- she dug her nails into her own skin hard enough to draw blood.

Marco hit her spot hard- sending ripples of pleasure through her spine. Elsa cried out and Marco steadied himself- hitting the same spot over and over again, each time Elsa grew tighter- her hips bucked harder and her climax began to boil over her.

Elsa cried Marco's name as her climax poured over her- Marco groaned as he came inside of her- his body relaxed and with his last drops of energy he guided her back to the tiled floor as to not drop her. Elsa's panting continued roughly- the pleasure still running coarse through her body. Marco's hands were at her head- cradling her gently and running through the bleach white strands of her hair. Elsa caught her breath within 10 minutes, looking back up at Marco with giant blue eyes.

"You know that I love you, right?" Marco's voice hummed in the steamy air- his eyes never leaving Elsa's. Elsa repressed a sob- she felt the breaking of her insides at the words that made her life feel so complete.

"I know." Elsa smiled- her hands returning to his jaw, cupping it in her hands and bringing his lips to hers. After releasing him, they stayed there- inches away from each other's face. Elsa's lips grazed Marco's as she spoke. "I love you more." Marco smirked and shook his head slowly, playfully rubbing the tip of his nose against hers. Elsa giggled, her hands coming to rest at his collarbones.

"Impossible." Marco spoke with truth. "There is no one in this world, who could love anyone as much as I love you." Elsa brought her lips to his as if she could taste them. She heart pounded in her throat- the steam melting away the frost that lingered there.

.:*:.

Elsa peeked into Anna's room, her alarm was screaming but the slumped figure of Anna was sleeping deeply enough to not notice. Elsa trotted across the carpet, turning off the alarm and looking down on the picture of Anna. The redhead's face was scattered with lovely freckles- her lips were parted in a tiny snoreN

and her hair splayed across the sheets. If Elsa could have she would have stayed there to admire her beautiful sister, she would have allowed herself to remember a time when this was an everyday thing, when Elsa and Anna would walk to school together hand-in-hand, when Anna would sneak into Elsa's closet and Elsa would steal her shoes- when Elsa would try to sleep in on the mornings and Anna would wake her by knocking the wind out of her ribcage.

She felt the tears begin at her eyelids and she shook Anna's shoulder gently. Anna stirred.

"Elsa... Come on I just wanna sleep forever..." Anna growled and pulled the covers up. Elsa stared at her- the tears were running swiftly and she bit her lip. Elsa sat by her sister on the bed- shaking her shoulders again.

"Come on Anna your going to be late." Elsa shook her until she sat up. The ginger looked at her and Elsa wiped her tears. Anna brought her feet out of the comfort of her sheets, still groggy with sleep Anna placed her head on Elsa's shoulders. Elsa looked at her - surprised by the red-heads move.

"I'm sorry Elsa." Anna squeezed Elsa around the waist- burying her head in the elder's shoulder. Elsa felt her heart rate quicken, her lungs constrict and her sobs begin to force themselves into her throat. Anna's tears began to wet her sleeve- and Elsa rubbed her back soothingly.

"Shh... Anna don't apologize... I know what I did was wrong- i know I hurt you-" Elsa choked on her sob. "I was just trying to protect you Anna I still am." Elsa held the tiny girl as close as she could- Anna's sobs began to rock her shoulders. "Shh.. don't cry." Elsa stroked the girl's back- the same way she had remembered soothing Anna when they were kids and she fell off her bike, skinning a knee or bloodying her nose. Anna's voice was muffled by Elsa's sleeve but Anna's voice rang out true.

"I love you Elsa." Elsa gripped the girl fiercely, although she had heard the girl say this so many times before- the foreignness of the words hit Elsa like a ton of bricks- weighing on her heart, her stomach, her head, weighing her down like an anchor tied to her angle- dragging her down into the bittersweet facts.

She loved Anna more then anything in this world.

Anna stood- breaking her grip with Elsa.

"I love you too Anna." Elsa looked up at the girl and watched her walk away. Turning her attention to the window

Into the early morning light filling Anna's room Elsa smiled. She smiled at the simplicity while she had it.

She didn't care about Hans.

She didn't care about the scars.

Love is a force that's powerful and strange. It sent flaring light through the shattered girl.

Sometimes the most broken people- smile the brightest.

And into the rising sun Elsa stared- a glisten of happiness filling her bloodstream.

.:*:.

Elsa and Marco faced the streams of adolescents hand-in-hand. They scoffed and galred at the two.

"Why is he with her." Rhi and Sphie spat loud enough for them both to hear.

"What is wrong with her? the nose ring? the clothes? The makeup? Maybe she;s a hooker."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

Elsa gripped his hand tightly- she didn't care that they thought she was weird or didn't liek her, it was that Marco was an apparent topic of interest. She felt the presence of Jack next to her and she whipped around to face him.

"Hello Jack."

"Hey Elsa." The boy smiled brightly. "did you do the English homework?" Elsa's heart fell.

"Shit..." She rubbed her temples with the hand that wasn't glued to Marco's. Jack laughed and Marco chuckled next to her.

"Just kidding." Jack smirked and Elsa thought she could hit him.

"Oh- Ha-Ha very funny Jack!" Elsa rolled her eyes, the boy was a child stuck in a teen's body.

"Since when do u care about grades Frostbite?" Marco smirked- his smile sending shivers through his spine.

"Since I have a sister who needs me." Elsa smiled sideways, grinning back into the boy's emerald eyes.

Then It happened all too quick, there was a hand at her shoulder that yanked her the other way, and she was staring into pure evil darkness.

"Elsa- nice to see you again. You mind a quick talk?" The voice hatred rattled in her ears. Her heart didn't pump blood fast enough to keep up with her. She gulped at the sight of Hans.

"No you can't." Marco was at her side- staring into the tall boy's face with anger. Marco stood still- but his energy fluctuated and should have terrified anything in its way. Elsa looked to Hans's side. Finding the small boy - Wesely- and a new figure she didn't recognize.

"Pitch." Jack growled- staring at the glamorous boy. He was tall with black hair and huge - yellowed hazel eyes. He was thin yet tell and Elsa automatically felt the fear at her head. She gulped the boy made her unsettled. She looked all around- finding nothing but harassers surrounding her. Wesely had been a prick since day one- always picking at anything he could- digging his nose into places it didn't belong, getting his ass kicked on a daily basis and having kids screech his nickname 'Weaselly" at him. She was confused to why Hans would be within ten feet of him.

Marco was livid- staring at Hans like a pair of wolfs, fighting for Alpha. They started to spit insults at each other between tight teeth. Elsa stepped in front of Marco. By now a crowd had formed around the group.

"Stop! Stop it!" Elsa faced Hans and held her hands out- begging - pleading that he would just turn around. His eyes gleamed, burning into Elsa with intensity. She clutched her sleeves, the blue fabric absorbing her stress.

"What are you going to do about it paper-face?" Hans growled at her- while smiling. He had the predatory look in his eyes. Elsa's heart stopped, her nightmare wasn't over. Marco suddenly wasn't at her side and Hans was on the floor, clutching a swelling eye. Elsa backed away- its my fault, its my fault. Elsa backed against the lockers, suddenly Pitch was snickering at her.

"Cat got your tongue Vamp-squad?" At with that Jack was on top of him- bringing fists into Pitch's nose. Pitch recoiled by shoving Jack to the floor- suddenly kicking him hard enough to hear Jack's ribs break. Elsa's nerves filled with rage. She stepped towards the dark boy and grabbed him by his collar- bringing his face onto her extended fist. Pitch fell back, clutching his face.

"Ow, baby got bite!" By now the crowd was cheering, screaming at Elsa and hurling insults at her.

"Vampire! Cave-dweller! Slut! Emo! Gothic! Whore! Paper-White! White-out!"

Elsa looked around to find Marco on his back- both Hans and Wesely were kicking his face and sides. Elsa looked at the tiny boy with glasses- easily picking him off his feet and throwing him across the floor. She should have stayed and kicked the shit out of him but instead she turned to Hans- hatred fueled the fist aimed at his jaw, the fear was gone- now she was fearless, only anger and rage complied with her.

Her hand was inches away from his face when her grabbed her wrist- she shoved her other one towards him, only to be met by his hand again. She felt the nausea of his touch return to her skin, and felt her stomach do somersaults.

"Elsa!" She could hear Anna's voice and turned to see the girl on the edge of the circle around them- staring at her sister in shock. Elsa paused, her hands going limp. With that Hans gripped her shirt sleeves, yanking them to her elbows and hold her arm up like it was a prize. Elsa struggled against his grip -the students stared and laugh, yelling at the top of their lungs.

'EMO! EMO! EMO!" Elsa tried with every muscle in her body to yank her arm away- but Hans was still stronger then her. She looked at Anna who stared at her with dismay. The tears came next- each running rampid down her cheeks. She felt Marco return to her- pulling Hans away from her and taking her away from the crowd. Marco pushed through the crowd trying to block Elsa from the cruelty of the world running wild around her.


	7. Already Dead

Elsa stared at the pattern on the carpet, she sniffed at the blood that was oozing out of her nose. A tiny woman with brown hair and a skinny face handed her a rag- the blood was going through way too many Kleenex.

"Thank you," She squeaked through a swollen throat.

"You welcome dear." The woman smiled kindly and left, leaving Elsa to cringe in the large chair. She stared up at the principal's door- knowing that Hans and Marco were inside. She looked over at Pitch and Wesely who were staring at her. Wesely's glasses had broken when Elsa threw him and Pitch's face was purple with a black eye- one of his back teeth had fallen out.

Elsa would like to think that she had gotten the bloody nose from the fight- but she hadn't. She was dashing through the hall with Marco when Anna had stopped her. Elsa thought back to the recent occurrence.

Anna had stopped her, looking at her with huge- angry eyes.

"Why Elsa? Why didn't you tell me?" Anna had said through gritted teeth.

"Because I love you Anna, you couldn't know because-" Elsa had stopped, if she continued her nightmare would play out the way she would have thought.

"Because of what Elsa? What did this to you? What happened to you- Elsa you were so happy, we were so happy what went wrong?" Anna had begged for an answer through tears. Elsa's lungs stopped working- her nightmare was becoming reality.

"I... I can't tell you." Elsa spoke through tears. Anna had glared at her- the pain of three years boiling down on Elsa. And then Anna had slapped her- hard- across the face. Hard enough to bloody Elsa's nose and leave nail marks on her cheek.

Elsa shook her head and grabbed at her temple with her free hand, the other still holding the rag to her nose. She knew that she deserved it- Anna had very right in the world to hate Elsa. Elsa was going to be sick- her little sister that she loved more then life itself was probably back at her apartment by now- writhing in hatred.

"What are you thinking so hard about manic-depressive?" Pitch's voice waking her up from her day dream. Well wouldn't you like to know? Elsa looked away from him, Pitch smirked- sending his amber eyes ablaze.

"Yeah- what you thinking about white-out?" Wesely chimed in, his voice cracking from a be-lated puberty. Pitch rolled his eyes- suddenly becoming hostile with the boy.

"Fuck Weasel boy cant you shut your fucking mouth?" Pitch spat at the boy with broken glasses- Wesely cringed and backed away- still staring at the shadowy boy with rage.

"Go fuck yourself Walking-dead!" Wesely spat back at him- at this the Secretary at the office was on her feet- yelling at Pitch and Wesely for the third time in the last 20 minutes.

The door to the principal's office opened- Hans walked out- his eye swollen and his lip bleeding, Elsa hoped that his jaw hurt. She never once looked at him, the anger boiling at her top. Jack followed- limping from the ribs that were more the likely broken- but he insisted that they were just bruised. Then Marco came- he of all of them was in the worst shape. His face was covered in bruises, one of them were Hans had kicked him hard enough to split open his skin and break his nose. His ribs were defiantly bruised from the kicking and his knuckles were bright red.

Elsa looked up at him- sadness and guilt curled her skin. Marco leaned down to whisper at her.

"I will see you in an hour okay?" Marco's words where gentle yet exhausted. Elsa nodded and Marco placed a quick- barely noticeable - kiss on her forehead before leaving the office after Hans, followed by Jack who looked back at Elsa and gave a thumbs up. Elsa laughed at him under her breath- shaking her head and flashing a 'thumbs- up' back at him.

.:*:.

Elsa sat back in the chair- her nose had stopped bleeding but it was swollen and the nail marks stained her skin. She looked up at the principal- he was a younger man and was obviously exhausted.

"So- Elsa Aren, your a junior correct?" Elsa nodded - gripping at her sleeves. "So, I've been told that Marco De'James made the first altercation- followed by an altercation by Jack Frost and Blake Pitch." Elsa nodded again- her silence obviously a new to the principal- he stared at her for a moment.

"Elsa how long has the bullying went on?" The principals words were new. Since when did it matter?

Elsa shrugged- she had spoken to the Principal a handful of times before everything with Hans happened- once to ask permission for the cheerleading to ride in the same bus as the football players, and another to help him prepare for a beginning of the year rally the cheerleaders were in. Elsa shivered at how long ago that felt- her nails dug into her own skin at the craving for that feeling again.

"I see that you're an excellent student, teachers say that your always acing the tests and never have had a grade below a B." The man looked up at her again. "You've had one fight before if I remember correctly?" Elsa nodded- sophomore year she had a pretty good brawl with Courtney. "And I have many witnesses telling me you have scars on your arms- that I should get you to a counselor?" Elsa bit her lip, she shook her head.

"N-No, I don't know what you are talking about." Elsa stammered nervously- only causing the principal to raise an eyebrow and stare at her worriedly. He really was a good guy, he had this thing with the kids she'd never seen in a teacher- she used to be one of the girls who would have traded him in for her father.

Elsa shivered at her own nerve consuming irony.

"Let me see them then," The principal propped his elbows on the desk- holding his hands out and Elsa stared at him- she shakily brought her sleeves out to his hands. "Sleeves." the principal speculated. Elsa gulped- stammered and took her hands away- pulling the blue fabric of the long sleeves up to her elbows and setting them back in the principal's grip. She stared at her horrific scars, the dark purple lines that dominated her paper-white skin.

The lines created ladders that she had wanted to climb up and out of- out of this hole of depression, away from the world of liars and rapists.

.:*:.

Elsa looked out of the office- staring at the abyss that lead from the principal to her car. Alone. She looked around nervously- Maybe Hans went home? She prayed to everything that she knew that Hans had gone home. Elsa took a deep breath- staring at the floor and back out into the hallway. Carefully she took the first step- looking only once back at the administrators and then taking off. She was short- not really short- but short enough that if she ran through the halls nobody would care. It was easily 8 o'clock and everyone had left.

Almost everyone. Elsa's thought only sparked her running. Then- her world came to a spiraling stop, she looked up- right into the ginger hair and the dark endless eyes. She looked straight up into the pale skin- bruised from a recent fight and a white smirk covered in evil.

"Elsa... its been awhile since you've found yourself like this hasn't it?" Hans stepped forward- Elsa moved back, keeping the distance between them as long as she could. "And I see it seems you have almost forgotten about me..." Hans chuckled and shook his head- a notion that sent cold stroke fears up her spine. "Stupid slut don't you see that I am the only one for you?"

Elsa still backed away- she knew if she turned to run Hans had a better chance of catching her from behind, if she screamed there was a good chance he'd kill her. She stared at anything except for him- searching for a weapon, a defense mechanism- anything. Despite her pleads with the universe, there was nothing.

Hans closed in on her- coming close enough to touch her if he wanted to. She tried her hardest to steady herself, but fear had dominated her skin again, the fearlessness she had felt before was now gone, devoured by Hans's presence.

"Hans... please, stop this." Elsa knew her pleads would remain unheard but she let the trembling words slip out her breath. She tried containing the tears but her skin was crawling and her head was pounding. Hans closed the gap between them, taking her jawline in his hand, sending her skin ablaze with the toxic. Hans turned her shoulder- slowly he was pressing her to the wall. Her heart sped up- and Hans's hand found its way into the hook of her jeans. He started sliding a hand down, and a spark in Elsa had finally had enough.

"Get off of me!" Elsa pushed at his shoulders- lashing out with her arms again- landing a blow on his cheek and turning to come out of his cage he had locked her in. "GET OFF OF ME!" Elsa yelled and she could see the anger searing through Hans's eyes. She knew he was worried about people hearing her- and that gave her the only clue she needed. His hand under her jeans forced itself inside of her roughly.

"Shut the fuck up you little whore!" Hans half-whispered half-yelled in her ear.

"NO! GET OFF OF ME!" Elsa lashed out again, Hans's free hand held both of hers above her head but she still struggled, finally she sucked in for air and let out a scream. Hans stared at her- frozen in what seemed like terror.

"You little-" He couldn't finish- he heard the administrators coming down the other hallway. "This isn't over." Hans glared at her and dropped her hands- sprinting away fast enough so that they didn't see him.

Elsa was shaking uncontrollably, her knees gave out on her- the tears streamed off her face in a hurry and she found herself kneeling on the floor while a bunch of staff teachers began to come ask her what the ruckus was about. Elsa held back the sobs- shaking her head and refusing to answer, while the principal came to help her to her feet- she didn't have the strength to walk to her own car. She was guided back to the office- begging Marco over the phone to come and get her.

She couldn't bear another lonely trip through the halls of Fallen High School.

.:*:.

"Just tell me what happened Elsa," Marco spoke from the driver's seat. Elsa gulped- her gaze fixed on the window of the motionless car. She stared at her apartment building as if it was a safehaven, trampled on by the presence of her sister- who needed to know everything. Elsa bit her lip, how could she ever tell Marco? She moved her legs- bringing them close together. She sat up straighter and looked over at the emerald force that stared back at her. The tears began clouding in her eyes again- and she lost her voice within them.

"Elsa..." Marco set a hand on her shoulder, the truck's three front seats merged into one and he brought her close to him. She stuffed her face in his shoulder- inhaling the scent that calmed her nerves. "Just tell me, you can tell me anything you know that right?" Elsa nodded into his shoulder- and responded with body-rocking sobs. She was stuck on the fence- jump into Marco's arms and feel the wrath of Hans destroy her, or sink back into the utter deception she had lived for three years.

"Hans." Elsa's mouth moved without her consent- his name was bitter on her lips- stung her throat but slip between her teeth before she could swallow. Marco gripped her tighter- her sobs drowning out the pounding thoughts in her head. Marco caressed her protectively- she looked up to see tears fall from his eyes too- tears of anger, tears of sadness.

"He'll never do it again I promise Elsa." Marco pulled her closer to him- his arms wrapping her like a blanket. "I'm here now, I'm not going to leave you. Ever."

Elsa cried harder then she ever had before- clinging to Marco, knowing that her nightmare just might be over now.

.:*:.

Elsa and Marco walked through the hall hand-in-hand, stopping at her gym class she was way late for. After a night spent sleeping in Marco's truck Elsa's back was stiff but her heart was at full capacity. He kissed her forehead.

"I love you Frostbite." Marco smiled against her skin.

"Love you more." She smiled back and disappeared into the girl's locker room. The room was barren- void of all life. She walked through the rows of lockers, finding hers and touching its surface with familiarity. A noise came from the back of the room and Elsa turned stiffly- pressing herself against the locker in terror as she watched Hans walk out of the shadows. Her heart quickened- a million miles a minute, a thousand bets per second- her hands trembled.

"Hans- what are you doing in here?" Elsa' words shook in the air around them, but she didn't need an answer.

Hans took her hand like he had so many times before. "Oh Elsa, why don't you come with me?" His words sent memory rushing through her veins, and she suddenly turned submissive again- beaten, betrayed, alone. He dragged her into the bathroom that lead off the locker rooms and proceeded with mocking her.

"You made a mistake, stupid girl." Hans snatched her face in his hand and she pulled away with anger. "Now you've become a fighter haven't you Elsa?" Hans glared at her- picking her up by her shoulders and forcing her against the wall- her head hit with a sickening crack. She felt the blood rush through her ears, a droplet finding its way up her throat. She choked on the blood, gasping and coughing,eventually stabilizing herself. The ringing in her ears deafened her. Suddenly there was pounding at the door.

"Who's in there? Are you okay?" The voice was worried, a female's voice. She wanted to scream for help- but her fear clotted nerves sealed her mouth shut.

"Shh.." Hans whispered in her ear- His face staring hers down. He ripped at Elsa's pants which found there way to the floor- Hans found his way inside of her and proceeded with what Elsa had memorized- the painful aginy of trying to disconnect herself from reality sunk in. She opened her mouth- the blood dripping from her lips. She tried to speak.

"Help.. me" The words were so quiet she doubted the air around her had even moved, but Hans was furious- grabbing her by her hair and throwing her head into the wall again. Elsa tried to scream but her throat was constricted.

"If you don't tell me what is going on right now I'm going to go and get the staff." The girl was wiggling the knob with frustration. Hans forced into Elsa painfully- her body rejecting Hans's erection. Elsa' heart stopped working- jumbling her thoughts with madness and depression.

"Now, tell her that your just fine..." Hans barked into her ear quietly. Elsa found her voice again- about to comply with his demands, fearing what the boy could do to her. But she was distracted by the mirror- she stared at it with dismay. Who is that girl? Suddenly unable to recognize the broken face- the face of pure agony. She looked into broken blue eyes- filled with tears. Is that me?

She looked at Hans, the man she hated and loathed- stared at the knob again. Her head swirled with anticipation.

No. No more.

"GOD- JUST HELP ME!" Elsa screamed at the girl- who began to frantically try to pry the door open.

"Fucking whore-" Hans ripped Elsa off the wall and held a hand around the back of her neck- turning her around- facing the mirror. He grabbed her hair from behind- forcing her ribs into the counter and her breath to stop. His elbow dug into her back- causing her to arch and her ribs to become crushed in the counter. With her last droplet of breath she screamed- hearing multiple pairs of people forcing the door open- Hans's switchblade was at her neck.

"Shut the fuck up! Take it back Elsa- take it back now or you're dead." Hans glared at her and Elsa stared at the mirror that was inches away from her view. She stared at the ghostly white face.

"I'm already dead!" Elsa yelled with a cry of pain. Elsa glared back at him- and seven girls poured into the room- gasping and yelling at the sight- pulling Hans away from Elsa who cowered and fell to the floor.

"I'm already dead..." She whispered as the world around her fell to the floor.


	8. Rage

Elsa shivered in the warmth of outside. The world was blurred around her- no lines, no color, no definition within it. She stared into the spotted mess, her eyes finding nowhere to rest- the tears stained her cheeks, her lips quivered and she felt numbness inside of her. The shock was overwhelming, she felt relieved, embarrassed, pathetic and above all, free. The police were trying to get answers out of her- there car parked on the curb. One had already driven away with Hans in it.

"Elsa Delaney Aren. that is your full name correct?" The officer asked her in a husky voice and she looked up at him.

"Yes." She replied hoarsely. She swallowed hard- clinging to the cloth of the blanket. Her jeans had been ripped by Hans beyond wear and she couldn't stand outside of the school building in her underwear. The principal was there- at her side like a guard on watch. She could feel kids staring through the windows at her. She stared into the distance, vaguely aware of the eyeliner running down her face with the tears. She pulled her sleeves up to her hands- trying to hold herself together.

"Hans Issac Velencia is the attacker in this situation, correct?"

"Yes." Elsa replied in barely a whisper. She looked at the principal, all she wanted was her mom. Mommy. Elsa wanted to ask for her- fall into her mother's embrace, cry into her shoulder. Daddy. Elsa wished for her father's sweet words- singing her a lullaby goodnight. Instead, she asked for the closest next, "Can I please see my sister?" She whimpered to the principal and only the principal. He looked up at the officer- who nodded and turned away to tell a nearby staff administrator to get Anna. Elsa felt herself breaking again- she tried to contain a migraine-inducing sob.

"Okay Elsa we know you are under alot of stress right now but we are going to ask you some questions now, and we will have to take you back to the station" The officer wrote something down in a notebook and Elsa nodded. Before the officer could respond she heard a familiar- sweet voice.

"Elsa," She turned around, Anna walking up to her with tears in her eyes and a look of complete shock striking her face. Elsa could tell that Anna hand questions- and at the sight of her little sister Elsa let out the terrible sob from her throat. Her knees began to shake- threatening her balance. Anna's arms pulled Elsa towards her in an embrace that was awkward none the less but was so bittersweet Elsa could feel her heart rate drop. Anna's hands were at Elsa's ribs- hugging her intensely, Elsa wanted to hug her back but she had a blanket to hold up. She settled with being cramped by Anna's grip and settling her cheek on Anna's hair. Finally her little sister knew, she didn't have to hide from her, now she just had to protect her.

The police officer was forced to break to silence.

"Elsa we are going to have to take you back to the station now for some questions, you may bring either one relative or one witness but we need to go." Elsa nodded and her eyes told Anna to come with her. The officer held the back door of the police car open for them and closed it behind them. Elsa and Anna were connected at the shoulders- the silence between them spoke the painful words of three years for them. Anna's tiny hand rested on Elsa's trembling on, steadying the storm inside of her.

.:*:.

The coffee in front of her steamed steadily- there was something about coffee, the taste- the smell, even just the warmth of it against her hands through the cup gave her comfort. She sat in the little room alone- Anna waited somewhere outside. She stared at the investigator in front of her- she was a tall woman with red hair pulled into a tight bun and a gentle looking face.

"Okay Elsa, I have some very awkward questions that have to be answered." The girl peered up at Elsa over black glasses frames. "Are you ready?"

Elsa nodded nervously- Anna had brought her a pair of pants thankfully, and she linked her fingers perfectly on the styrofoam cup. She gritted her teeth painfully- her head still hurt from being slammed against the wall and was bleeding badly when the staff had first found her. Now it was better- just throbbing so loudly it pained her to think.

"When was the first time Hans raped you?"

"November 18, 2011 when I was a freshman." Elsa breathed- she was so dehydrated from the tears she didn't think she had any left.

"Where?"

"at Fallen Highschool."

"Where in Fallen Highschool?"

"The girls bathroom, downstairs by the English hall."

"In a stall, on the counter?"

"Against the wall."

"Which one?"

Elsa's breath was getting unsteady- having to dig through her painful memories and re-live them in order to answer the questions.

"the one that is on the same side as the door, not looking at the mirror or the stalls."

"Was the door locked?"

"Yes."

"Could you reach it?"

"No."

"Why?"

"He had a switchblade."

"Did he threaten you with the switchblade?"

"Yes..."

"What did he do?" The girl looked up at her again.

"He raped me," Elsa's breath heaved with suffocation of the words.

"How. What did he do first?" Elsa took a deep breath- disproving what she had thought about her tears, apparently there were still many to come. She ran fingers through her hair- gripping it fiercely to try and contain the headache. This was going to be a long night.

.:*:.

Elsa stumbled out of the tiny interrogation room despite the fact that she had been poked and prodded with every question that could ever possibly break her, (Did he ever come inside of you? Have you ever had an orgasm while with him? Did he ever kiss you on the lips?). The questions had made her sick to her stomach and with the combination of that and a headache she vomited twice while in the interrogation room. She managed to stay on her feet- looking into the waiting room to find Anna asleep on a chair and Marco- her glorious Marco- leaning on the window sill. He looked up at her- his eyes were broken, defeated and so worried.

She walked up to him, meeting eyes for a mere second. Elsa looked like she felt, eyeliner and mascara ran down her face, her hair was forced into knots despite her attempts at a braid, her sides heaved with the effort it took to still stand, her eyes and cheeks were swollen from the crying. Her head still pounded with the migraine, her temples hurt with every heartbeat, her hands refused to stop shaking.

Marco didn't say a word- he swallowed Elsa up in an embrace. Elsa gripped him tightly- Don't let me go. Please don't let me go.

And Marco didn't.

.:*:.

Three days had passed since Hans had been discovered and her secret was flooding the halls. Not one soul said a single thing to her- with the exception of Jack and her new friends. Tooth had come to her many times- asking if she was alright or needed help going through the court, which she was thankful for because for the last 36 hours her phone had blown up with attorneys and lawyers asking for this that and the other when she had no idea what they were saying. She had officially stopped answering the unknown numbers, she couldn't take the questions they asked every time the world came crushing down o her.

"Okay so basically your attorney is going to gather every possible charge that he can find, right now he has a sexual assault, sexual harassment and assault on a minor... the most he could get is 8 years." Tooth looked up at her as they walked the halls.

"What? Eight years? Just Eight?" Elsa thought that she was going to puke all over the place. Jack bumped her shoulder next to her.

"That fucker should be locked away for life." Jack gritted his teeth, looking back at Elsa. At his side, North looked down- the two had never looked at her the same way, Jack still remained a child locked in his skin, but North had become enraged with Hans's actions, softening around Elsa and sometimes storming away due to the anger.

"Eight is the maximum, and minors usually don't get those kinds of charges pressed on them, if the defense attorneys get what they want Hans could easily get off with a year and 6 months." Tooth said softly,despite the anger in her voice she was studying to go to Harvard for law.

"WHAT?" Elsa stared at her with huge eyes. "And what happens when he gets out?" Hundreds of gut-curling images flooded into Elsa's head, ones that made tears swell in her eyes and her throat began to close. Elsa stared down the hallways. "I can't do this," Elsa muffled a cry and brought her hands up to her temples. Don't feel, DON'T FEEL!

Tooth was looking up at her with huge eyes and she stiffed around Elsa nervously-trying to calm her with tiny touches on her shoulder. Jack stepped forward and threw a friendly hug around Elsa.

"Hey- Its going to be okay." They stood for a moment- Elsa gathering herself. Jack released her and smiled a half crooked smile with a raised brow. Elsa wiped at the bottoms of her eyes, watching north walk away- the anger clotted on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry." Elsa whispered

Jack shook his head at her, "Don't ever be sorry Elsa, we are here for you."

Elsa stared at him for a moment- studied his eyes, his perfectly blue eyes. Marco, Benny and Sandy walked up to her, snapping her out of Jack's childish distractions. Sandy handed her a notebook full of precise math notes.

"Thanks Sandy, your a life saver." The mute nodded and smiled at her dork-ishly shrugging his shoulders. Marco almost snapped at the puffs he saw under Elsa's eyes and was instantly at her side. She leaned into his shoulder, his hand finding its place at her hipbone.

"I've gotta get out of here." Elsa whispered to Marco as the group started conversation about Tooth's Harvard scholarship. Elsa knew they were all trying to support her without breaking a comfort zone and she smiled. The group stuck together in front of her filling her with happiness, with belonging.

"We could always miss 6th and 7th period I doubt anyone would say anything." Marco's hand linked with hers gently. She smiled and nodded.

"Hey guys we're going to go, Tooth I'll call you tonight." Elsa grinned shakily and turned before anyone could try and ask her if she was okay. She grabbed Marco's hand and the two left the school quickly in Marco's pickup. Elsa rested her head on his shoulder the entire way, staring at the colorless pictures they drove by blankly. She still had moments were she felt dead inside- if someone had dropped a pin Elsa would have heard it ring through the echoing hallways of her emptiness. She slipped under Marco's arm, and he rubbed her shoulder gently. For the past three days Elsa had seen Marco consumed by guilt and hatred. She couldn't bear to see him like this, she wanted the Marco she had known for so long back.

The day before-The second day after Hans was found guilty- Elsa wanted nothing more in the world then to cut. She wanted to feel something. And when she found Marco laying next to her that night she found a new crutch. She clung to Marco tighter then she had ever clung to a blade. she cried harder then she had ever cried alone in the shower, she felt the pulse in her chest louder then she had ever felt her skin break.

She fell in love harder then any time she had ever fallen into the hole of mouth-watering depression she called a curse.

Elsa looked up at him now, he was so perfect, so flawless within all of his flaws. She kissed his cheek- the tears from her eyes dripped onto his shoulder and he held her tighter.

"I love you Elsa."

"I love you Marco."

.:*:.

"He's out on bail."

"WHAT?" Elsa gripped her own shoulder- her gut did somersaults.

"The judge declared that the crime was not severe enough for Hans to be kept in a juvenile center, they let him out on a 2,000 dollar bail." Elsa dropped the phone at Tooth's words and ran to the kitchen sink were she puked. She sank away- falling to her knees in utter despair. She folded her hands around her face- sobbing uncontrollably. Anna heard her sister and was running into the kitchen, crouching down to were Elsa crumbled and holding her tightly.

"Elsa, Elsa what is it what's wrong?" Anna crooned softly, holding Elsa at her shoulders. He is going to hurt you.

"Anna," Elsa looked up at her sister and pulled her closer to her. "Anna I won't let him hurt you- I promise." The sobs came harder and faster.

"You don't have to protect me I'm not afraid." Anna whispered into her arm. Elsa held the tiny girl closer, shaking her head. She knew what Hans was capable of, she knew she had to do everything in her power to protect Anna.

"I won't let anything hurt you Anna."


	9. Breaking Down

Elsa pulled herself out of another sleepless night. She set her feet stiffly on the floor, and looked back at Marco who was sleeping gently. When she stood up her back cracked, her eyes blurred with anger and the sleep that never came. Instantly the migraine prowled her head forcing her to wince as she stumbled to the doorway. She stared back at the room, Marco curled in her queen sized bed that was placed near the corner, her windows were cloaked in dark curtains that prevented the 2'am moonlight from shining through, her vanity was propped in front of her, staring at her diligently. She was wearing Marco's tee shirt, a dark blue button up. The short sleeves did nothing to lock out the cold but strangely she felt comfort within the chill. She slipped out the door and was careful to close it quietly, the tiny five foot hallway consisted of her room to the left and a laundry room to the right, she stumbled into the carpeted living room, and was startled to find a tiny girl with a mess of black hair snoring on her couch.  
Elsa jumped, inhaling sharply but her tiny frame made no sound against the carpet. She relaxed, recognizing Miza. Marco had refused to leave Miza with his foster siblings for another night, however Elsa was certain she would have a panic attack knowing that she was in the apartment alone with Anna while Hans was not in jail. Elsa cringed at the thought, forcing her way into the kitchen and sighing over a cup of coffee. Tooth had explained so much to her, doing research on cases similar to hers and trying to calm her nerves to explain to her that Hans was under house arrest with a tracking device, he wasn't going anywhere. Elsa's nerves still sparked, she could only imagine what horrors may or may not await. She sunk into a chair and stared at the papers Tooth had left her. She set the cup down as quietly as she could- looking over her shoulder at the sleeping girl on the couch, the moonlight reflecting off her skin flawlessly.  
Elsa stared, the tiny girl's breath rising and falling in perfect synchronicity. She was so lost in the picture perfect image that when her phone vibrated she almost jumped clear out of her skin, holding her breath in order to not shriek in shock. She swiped at it, grabbing it from across the counter and flicking it quickly.  
Elsa go back to bed -Anna  
Elsa rolled her eyes and looked over at the guest bedroom, the door was wide open and in its frame stood a petite girl in a cheerleading tee and fluffy pajama pants, her hair brushed into braids that were flawed by sleep. Elsa smiled at her sister with great effort and Anna trotted to her, draping her arms over Elsa from behind and hugging her. Elsa relaxed into Anna's arms, finding her sense within the girl's freckled skin.  
"Did you see the snow Elsa?" Anna whispered. Elsa smiled, snow always becoming a comfort. She shook her head and Anna grinned. The simplicity forced a calming sense to wash over her.  
"Do you wanna build a snowman?" Anna's voice sparkled in Elsa's ears.  
Yes. I wanna build a snowman. Elsa gulped, grief still hanging over her head unbearably. I want to build a million fucking snowmen.  
"Yes." Elsa whispered back to Anna and grinned as she turned in her chair to see the redhead smile. Anna jumped and pulled at her arm, the joy letting her turquoise eyes beam. Elsa giggled and gestured to her clothes, the oversized tee and leggings. Anna froze but she smirked. Elsa's memory returning to her.  
She remembered Anna when she was in Elementary school, the two would sneak out every Christmas Eve and play the snow, only in their pajamas like there parents had always told them not to.  
Elsa jumped out of her chair, sneaking through the apartment like she had when she was 9, opening the door silently and Anna dragged her down the stairs.  
"Shhh..." Elsa reminded Anna, but the girl continued to drag her and laugh wildly, most likely waking everyone in the closest apartments.  
They stepped out of the complex. Fresh sheets of snow cloaking the earth like a blanket. Elsa stepped with her bare foot, smiling at the somehow familiar cold. Anna whirled past her- frolicking through the snow gracefully. Elsa placed her other foot in the ice barrier, her toes relishing the sting. She smirked, grabbing and handful of snow and rolling it.  
"I want to make the head!" Anna cheered giddily.  
Elsa laughed softly "Alright." She started on the bottom body and once it was shaped Anna began walking towards her, snow weighing in her arms and forcing her to stumble.  
"I Got it I got it I-" Anna tripped and what was supposed to be the head became the upper body. "Well shit," Elsa and Anna giggled and she plucked rocks from the front of the complex, placing tiny buttons on the snowmans shirt. Anna stepped back and looked at the body.  
"hmmm." And before Anna could finish Elsa spotted a flash of movement behind her, a swirl of black hair and bright-excited green eyes.  
"E-sa?" Miza squeaked and looked at the two. "Aw you two co-d?" The girl smiled at them.  
"Oh Miza," Elsa looked up at the girl with surprise and she watched Anna whisper in her ear.  
Miza pulled away from Anna and smiled, running back into the complex, the moonlight tracing her silhouette.  
"What did you tell her Anna?" Elsa smirked at the redhead, crossing her arms.  
"Nothing!" Anna giggled and jumped, finding twigs scattered in the snow. Miza came running through the snow seconds later, a bright orange carrot dangling from her hands. Elsa came to her knees to look at her, and Miza placed the carrot in her hands.  
"E-sa!" The girl threw her arms over Elsa's neck and she smiled into the girl's hair, affection crawling its way in her throat.  
"Here Miza I have something for you," Elsa said softly and the girl released her and stood, waiting. Elsa pressed the carrot into the snowman's face, Anna came and knelt beside her-handing her the twigs. Elsa took the snowmans arms to pantomime them, memory of what she and Anna used to do inspiring her.  
"Hi I'm Olaf," Elsa tried to mimic the same voice she had used at a child. "And I like warm hugs."  
Miza's eyes grew wide and sparkled with light.  
"I love you Olaf!" The girl jumped and hugged the snowman- Elsa smiled wide with the familiarity. She looked back at Anna, the girl was smiling at Elsa with big, teary eyes.  
"I like this." Anna looked at Miza and back at Elsa.  
"Me too." Elsa gave Anna a crooked smile, somehow knowing she should cherish the moment while it was still in pristine present.  
"I wish it could be like this all the time," Anna's breath was densely fogged against the icy air and her lips were beginning to turn purple.  
"Me too." Elsa smiled back, restraining herself from the tears and the gut curling of her stomach.  
"What is this?" Elsa whipped her head back around towards the apartment complex were the sudden voice was lingering.  
Elsa looked up at a glistening version of Marco, his bare chest was illuminated by the moonlight, his jeans hung loosely around her torso, defining his abs and his obliques. Elsa blushed.  
"I could say the same thing, where's your shirt?" Elsa stared at him, his glorious figure mesmerizing her mind into a state of useless hypnosis.  
Marco laughed and gestured to her, leaning up against the wall to the complex. Elsa looked down, realizing she had his shirt and her blush reddened.  
"Oh,"  
"Marco!" Miza jumped from her snowman and tried to pull Marco into the snow,  
"Hang on Miz, I don't feel like getting frostbite today," Marco chuckled and kneeled down to see his 'twin', "Miza your freezing." Marco looked at Elsa and smiled.  
"Oops." Elsa looked down, feeling bad- she should have been a better role model and made Miza wear a coat.  
Elsa stood steadily and suddenly a rush of excitement roleld into her stomach and she balled a wad of snow into her hand, throwing it as it landed on Marco's bare chest.

There was a silent pause as Anna and Miza stared at the two, Elsa's lips curving into a smile and Marco's eyes growing bright with mystery, and Marco's hands filled with snow that was thrown at Elsa quickly before apparently all hell broke loose. Elsa ran and luaghed wildly as the snow landed on her should and one from Anna on her cheek, she threw tiny balls softly at Miza who jumped and laughed crazily. She turned and hurled snow at Anna, who was throwing at Marco and they continued until they were all purple - lipped and drenched.

Elsa stared at the three around her, happiness wasn't the right word to explain the condensing of her heart. Her eyes filled with blinding tears.

"Es-a, Iam co-ed now... carry me?" Miza's hands gestured up at her and Elsa took the tiny girl in her arms. "Aw- you co-ed Es-a?"  
"The cold never bothered me," She smiled at to girl and giggled with her. Marco was at her side, his arm hooked around her waist and a mouth-watering kiss was placed on her neck. Elsa sighed and looked over at Anna who was covered in still dripping snow and smiling at her giddley. As soon as they were inside Marco stuck Miza in the bathtub and after Anna's whining Elsa let allowed her to use her bathroom.  
"So, a snowman at 2 in the morning?" Marco smiled as soon as Miza was in a bath.  
Elsa bite her lip. "I'm sorry I should have made her wear a coat I know."

Marco's lips were at her skin again, his arms around her from behind and secured at her waist, pulling her close as he left a trail up her neck.

"No...I like this." Marco hummed in her ear. Elsa sighed again, melting into his embrace. "You, Miza Anna and I... We make a pretty good... what is it called? 'Family?'"

Elsa cringed at the word, her family was dead exempt Anna- wasn't it? She stared at her hand placed over Marco's at her torso and suddenly, she didn't think so.

"Me too, I wish it could be like this all the time." Elsa whispered and stared at the frost botten windows.

"It can be." Marco's lips brushed against her ears, tears welled into Elsa's throat, no lonliness remained, no bitterness remained and when she looked back at Marco, her lungs filled with life, with joy and with the sweet comfort of being able to breathe. She felt alive, and she had been dead for so long. The tears invoulentarily ran down her cheeks, Marco shifted- to try and comfort her tears but Elsa held him down firmly with her grip.

"No. Please just... stay right here." Elsa pleaded and Marco obeyed- rocking her lightly, holding her up to ensure she was still standing.

.:*:.

The halls of Fallen Highschool were now forgien- they blurred with arsenals of gossip and poisonous rumors that spread faster then plagues. Courtney Grasso of course was leading the rumorous rants about what a terrible human being Hans was, others, the majority of kids who were not the handful of girls who witnessed Elsa's horror claimed that she was a liar and Hans was innocent, amoung them was Pitch, Wesely, Rhi and Sophie.

Elsa stood in her own circle of friends- she heard the words around her but would not let them bother her. Her pinkie finger was linked in a death grip to Marco's. She still heard their conversations grow lounder.

Don't feel, Don't feel.

She bit her lip- looking up at Jack who was staring at the kids behind her with such ferocity his eyes brimmed with fiery rage. North and Bunny stared too- their eyes gleaming. Tooth backed Elsa and remained silent- listening closely. The silence between her friends and the shaking of Marco's hands had her stomach turn over.

"What a stupid slut she is and to think that everyone os going to team up against Hans? No way that suicidal fuck should have killed herself a long time ago." Elsa heard the murmur of voices around her and one stood out above all- Elsa whipped her head around, fear was clautrosphobic on her lungs and it gripped her throat intensly. She was prepared to be met with dark- hungry eyes and a flash of red hair and instend looking to pits of blue and a grave frown.

"You. Your Elsa?" The boy was tall- thin and lanky but his voice boomed- matching her worst nightmare but she couldn't help but be slightly releaived. Anxiety was killing her like a time bomb ready to explode. She felt Marco let go- No, please dont let go of me. His own anger was his worst enemy, Elsa didn't have to look down to see his hand curl into a fist and she touched it gently, looking up at him- hoping her eyes would comfort her enraged lover.

"Yes." Elsa almost whispered.

"I'm Lane. Hans's host brother." Elsa felt herself grow weary with the fear- the world started spinning, her migrane was powerful enough to force her stomach to turn, oh god she was going to vomit everywhere. "My brother is a good kis, and your a fucking liar. So I hope you lie in your own grave." He growled at her through gritted teeth.

She felt herself scream inside. She saw Marco's hand leave his side and land a punch on the boy's face. Pitch was suddenly up from his seat- jumping into the fight like ussual. Jack was on top of Lane too- kicking his rubs and face, while Lane was down. Pitch swung at MArco while Marco enlisted his rage- the violence made Elsa freeze. Wesley joined in- throwing off Marco byt he was backed by North and Bunny who were trying to break up the mess of a fight. Tooth was yelling at them to stop.

Elsa stared again. This was her fault, her fault for ever opening her mouth, she should have shut up- why could she have just stayed quiet. The tears ran freely down her face, her breath was escaping her too quickly she jerked her head around- a crowd of kids were staring at her, she reacognized nine of them, but none of them spoke. Elsa whipped her head back to the fighting- she vision blurring with her friend's outbreak.

My fault. My fault. MY FAULT.

Elsa's head thundered and her lungs constricted, she felt her knees give way and she opened her mouth again- her hands flying up to her ears as she screamed into the hallway filled with fists and rage. The fight stopped- Marco was running towards her, Jack was staring, North and Buny were still shocked. Tooth had a hand over her mouth and seemed to be crying, Sandy who had disappeared earlier was staring at her with big blurry eyes. She tried to stop screaming but she couldn't help her lungs that worked without her constent. Teachers were colliding into the halls and Elsa's breath continued to escape her in the panic-attack. She leaned into Marco who was at her side, she gulped and tried to quiet herself, turning the screaming into sobs and muffled yelps. She felt the oxygen escape her lungs and the world around her threatened to turn black.

This is all my fault. She looked back at Marco. She didn't deserve him.

She looked at her friends, she didn't deserve them. She stared back at the crowd of shell-shocked kids, her head hurt and pounded as the bloody returnde slowly.

She stood up on unstable knees- her mind going blanck and the crazy rush of adrenaline from being so afraid unsettled her. Marco tried to help her but she backed away her face going blank with numbness. She walked, ignoring the silent and frozen scene behind her and pushed through the main doors. She was hardly aware of Marco at her side- whispering at her words that she blocked out. She was hardly aware of the world at all as she found her way to Marco's car.

"Elsa listen to me." Marco called angrily and ran up to Elsa who was waiting at the passanger's side. he was soon behind her- his hands locked on hers as she tried to pull away from him. "Elsa stop- Elsa." he gripped her shoulders and waited until her limbs relaxed under him. She stared up at him helplessly. She was done- she didn't want to do it anymore, she didn't want to do anything anymore. She wanted to stop the heaviness that was traced behind her own breath. His brilliant emerald orbs sending slower- more confident comfort through her veins. She sighed- the tears were still rocking in her chest heavily. "Elsa listen, its going to be okay- I will never leave you please darling." one of his hands traced her jaw and she leaned into it needily.

"I don't deserve you Marco." She let the thought be vocalized and Marco's lips brushed her forhead.

"No you deserve much better." He brought her close to him and she sibbed into his chest- the storm inside her head still causing her to see in doubles. "I love you Elsa, I'm here no matter what." Hid hands traced her hair and her shoulders, sending burning shockwaves through her nerves.

"I love you Marco." she said and she repeated until her throat refused to work. She pressed her face into his shoulder, trying to hide what she found so hideous as herself from the world around her.

.:*:.

"Elsa you don't have to go to school today, we can stay home with you." Marco's soft words landed on Elsa and she considered it. Her sister and Marco both looked at her worridly. "You dont have to."

Elsa thought back on earlier that morning, she sighed and walked with her head down through the crowded cafateria with Anna.

"Uhg, we should have stayed home." Elsa mumbled to her sister.

"Oh Elsa you know you should have said something." Anna said sacastically. "don't worry Elsa, Everyone os ready to jump on the next person who even mentions your name." Anna nudged her sister playfully and Elsa smiled at her- looking into the bright teal eyes that met her. She settled herself next to Anna as they stood and waited for Marco- leaning up against the wall and staring into the traffic of the hallway.

"I never thought my freshman year would end up like this." Anna said quietly.

"I know I was thinking the same thing around this time of year- when I was a freshman." Elsa gulped and shivered trying to smile at her sister. she whipped her head up and down the hall- still expecting to see a flash of red hair and devilish features.

"Oh no its not in a bad way, I mean, bad things have happened but..." Anna looked up at her. "I got my sister back, and thats all I've ever wanted." Elsa flinched at Anna's kind words- the guilt of leaving Anna was still clawing at the back of her head, it never stopped- an animal unsatisfied and hungry.

"And I love it here with you Elsa." Anna looked back at Elsa and the weight of her heart increased by double.

Elsa opened her mouth to responed- but was cut off quickly by a sudden deafening bang. Elsa and Anna both jumped their eyes searching for answers- another bang and a few screams. Elsa's eyes widened with fear, her heart began to pick up its pace- sweat boil from the brim of her forehead and the headache returned. Elsa gritted her teeth, another bagnwas persistant over the crowd and more screams broke out. Elsa whipped her head each way- insticlively moving to try and sent herself in front of Anna and any other danger. Were was Marco? Elsa's heart continued to blind her senses. Oh Marco please help me. Elsa turned to her right- met by the barrel of a gun pressed against her forehead.

Suddenly the rest of the world blanked out- the familiar metal in a circle around her skull, her breath quickened at her eyes found the gunman's, a hideous amber and shadowy grey skin, the crooked smile of Pitch.

"Well hey there paper-white. I have a special message to you from one of my friends, he'll be here soon and you can ask him yourself. You all all your friends are gonna fucking die."


	10. Chapter 10

"Well hey there paper-white. I have a special message to you from one of my friends, he'll be here soon and you can ask him yourself. You and all your friends are gonna fucking die."

Elsa stared at Blake Pitch, his eyes gleamed with bloodthirst and his lips curved into a disgusting smile. Elsa looked behind him, a blonde girl was lying on the floor, bleeding while others tried to help her or ran away. The girl was familiar, Courtney Grasso.

One of the girls who found me? Horror ran Elsa's blood ice cold and she began to shake.

"I've been told though... Hans wants you to himself, now how strange, he said to kill all the girls who fucking lied about him, and everyone who Ever. Ever. Meant anything. to you." Pitch took the gun from Elsa's head and backed away a few feet, around the corner Wesely stumbled across the floor, his hands were shaking and a pistol dangled from his tiny hand, the boy shook like a leaf and stared wildly at everything. Elsa backed away, gripping Anna's arm, she stared into the amber eyes that blazed right through her. Elsa's bones turned numb and she breathed harshly, her body threatening to fall into a panic attack.

"Let's play a game Elsa, I'm going to turn around- shoot a few of the stupid fuckers who have made my life living hell, and when I'm done I'll come find you." Pitch grinned, he took Wesely by the shoulder and turned him around, the two ran the opposite direction of Elsa and Anna.

"Run," Elsa whispered, she had tried to yell but her voice was lost. She looked at the girl trembling next to her, Anna's eyes were wide and her forehead was laced with sweat, fear turned her eyes watery and she gripped Elsa for dear life, her knees still threatening to give way. "Anna, RUN. NOW." Elsa yelled and pulled her but the girl was staring at the mess of a blonde haired dead girl in the cafeteria.

Courtney Grasso was splayed on the floor in a mess and tangle of sunny stained hair, her face was staring right at Anna and Elsa, her blue eyes spread wide in shock and blood dripped from red lips. Elsa's stomach turned and she had to look away to puke on the floor. Chills ran through her body and when she finally was done she stared back at her sister, the girl she remembered opening presents with on Christmas, the girl she took baths with centuries ago, the girl she had once told everything. She pulled herself together, feeling claustrophobic in the dense fear-filled air. She stared back at Courtney, the girl's outstretched hand begging for mercy.

"Anna RUN!" Elsa pulled her sister roughly this time, jerking Anna out of her trance and she dragged her through the halls, She searched for an exit, the brick walls stared her down pathetically. She ran, pulling a still shocked Anna behind her, she head began to pound with the headache and she couldn't help but look over her shoulder for a mop of ginger hair and dark, evil eyes.

She found the door and ran into it, relieved to be so close to free, and then she was filled with new found horror. She pounded on the door- threw her body weight against it and it still wouldn't budge, students who saw her stopped their terror-run and tried to help her. She remembered the school installing bullet proof glass in all of the windows and doors, funny - it was supposed to keep them safe. The snow covered ground outside and mocked the students on the inside, laughing at the stupefied students.

"Elsa! Elsa it's no use!" She whipped her head around to find Jack standing there, he had blood on his hands and tears in his eyes. Elsa ran to him and embraced him quickly, finding Anna still at the door and she pulled her away. Tooth and Benny rounded the corner, finding their group.

"This way! Upstairs there is a window that we can break, the one in the English hall never got replaced." Tooth yelled through her tears and they followed her, the group dashing through devastated halls, Elsa spotted another victim, a girl with black hair and huge brown eyes, she recognized her despite the blood in a circle around the body and the bullet hole in her forehead.

Another girl who found me with Hans.

Elsa wanted to scream in terror, but she instead gripped Anna's wrist tighter and dashed up the stairs with the group. They reached the top and dashed towards the window. She saw Tooth and Benny stop out of the corner of her eye and Jack tried to stop her but it was too late, she collided with a body much heavier then her own and it sent her tumbling backwards. the fall forced Anna out of her grip and set Anna crashing into a wall. Elsa scrambled on the floor and looked up at her collision course. She was greeted by amber eyes and a gun's barrel.

"Ah look here Weasel boy we found her." Pitch motioned to the trembling boy behind him who was crying and panicking. "Hey there Elsa. Bye Elsa." Pitch's fingers curled around the trigger and Elsa closed her eyes- ready for the hit. Instead she heard the bang, flinched and jumped but when she stretched her eyes wide Jack was on top of Pitch, the shot had grazed her shoulder- pain swirling her senses.

"Shoot him Weasel! Shoot him you idiot!" Pitch screeched at Wesely. The boy was shaking so hard though that he couldn't even stand the right way. Elsa jumped at the boy- tackling him and snatching the gun, she threw it across the floor and looked down at the boy.

"Why? Why god dammit why?" Elsa screamed at the small boy, he shook his head through broken glasses and teary eyes. She took him by the shoulders, brought him up and slammed him down hard. Elsa fled, Anna.

Elsa turned fiercely, Anna and Tooth both trying to avoid the collision of Jack and Pitch. Elsa snatched the gun off the floor and aimed it at the dark figure, but with the constant movement she was threatening to potentially shoot Jack on accident. She kept the gun ready, tears streamed out her eyes and she couldn't breathe.

"Jack!" She yelled at him until he heard her. "Jack! Jack let go!" Jack was gripping Pitch by the neck, in a cruel hold while kneeing him in the groin, Jack threw the tall boy across the floor. Elsa stood above the amber eyes and deathly skin, She aimed the gun right at his face and closed her eyes, she couldn't watch if she wanted to. She prepped herself for the bang and gritted her teeth,

"Oh Elsa!" A voice from behind shocked her, a voice she knew all too well. a  
Across the hall stood Hans, his pistol was not aimed at her though its target was the tiny redhead with green eyes and freckles. Elsa looked at her sister, she sobbed once and looked back down at Pitch, the dark figure smirking back up at her.

Hans's ankle bracelet was beaming red and screaming, the police were the hell are they?

Elsa's hand began to shake as she looked up at her nightmare.

"Drop it Elsa. We wouldn't want anything bad to happen to sis now would we?" Hans loaded the gun and placed his hands on the trigger, slowly he walked towards Anna, the girl was frozen in fear, shaking and staring at Elsa. She met her sister's eyes grimly and her grip on the gun loosened.

"There you go Elsa... Just drop it. We all knew you couldn't do it anyways." Hans walked slowly to Anna until the gun's barrel was resting on her skull, he took Anna's shoulder and pulled her back. Tooth and Benny finished, coming close to Hans who hissed at them. Tooth and Benny backed away, knowing they couldn't win.

"Dont touch her!" Elsa growled and her grip came back- her gun was ready.

"Ah ah!" Hans yelled through a sinister smile and pressed the gun back into her sister's skull. Elsa's lungs constricted with anger, rage boiled over the fear but her grip loosened again. "You have three seconds before she is dead Elsa!" Hans stared into her eyes, this time Elsa looked right back- every painful memory boiling on her skin, it itched enough to make her pull the trigger, she haven't even noticed Pitch moving away from her. A hand grabbed her from behind, a gun found her head.

"One," Pitch's voice was thick in her ear but she still pointed at Hans. "Two!" Pitch growled and hit her on the side of her head with the gun's barrel. Elsa's vision blurred and with her downed senses the gun fell from her hands. She stared with terror as Hans stayed at her sister's head. Elsa squirmed and shouted,

"Anna! Let her go Hans what the hell do you want with me?" Tooth and Jack both tried to move but Pitch's grip on Elsa and his threats kept them still. Hans smirked and his fingers on the trigger closed.

"No!" A bang filled the room and a blur came over Hans. Elsa stared as Marco collided with him, Marco forced Hans's head into the wall- again and again. Elsa bucked her head and hit Pitch- her fired and it hit just in front of her face, she threw him off and dashed to the bloodied figure on the floor.

"Anna! Anna no...no!" Elsa fell in the blood of her sister. She cradled Anna's head, the bullet had hit her jaw, not her brain but the blood was spreading too fast. Anna was sleeping, away and unaware as Elsa screamed and cried.

Another bang, and Elsa's head snapped up to find Marco stumbling backwards, a hole in his heart.

"Marco?" She watched the boy stumble and fall- her mind clouded with the pain, she screamed Into the air- without an answer. She heard the footsteps roar up the stairs. Elsa looked up to see Tooth and Benny disappear into the wave of black uniforms, but Jack ran away from the safety-towards Elsa. He fell with her- he pulled at her. Pitch shot into the roar of officers and some fell. He was tackled- Hans aimed at them - but a shot to the stomach silenced him. Elsa stared- screaming. She rocked back and forth.

This isn't happening. This is not happening.

She cradled her limp sister, Jack was pulling at her.

"Elsa" He whispered over and over again, his quiet was calming her. She continued to scream and she watched a paramedics table carry away a limp figure of coal black hair and green eyes. She fought as more came to snatch Anna away from her, Jack held her back. He tried to calm her but Elsa continued to scream in the pain, not a broken bone or busted skull. Her broken heart was enough to kill her as she watched the hallway clear of her life. Her precious members of her only happiness. She screamed and pointed, she pointed at the guilty. She pointed at the ginger and the amber eyes that stole what was hers. She refused to stay quiet this time. She screamed until her heart engaged her panic attack.

Anna. Marco. Anna. Marco. Anna. Anna. Anna.

The names left her lips as her eyes rolled back into her head and her breath was lost. The world became as black as her heart.


	11. Chapter 11

Elsa woke to the all to bright white of a blurring hospital room. She instantly bolted upright, blood rushing to her head and her vision remained blurred.

"Elsa?" She heard a voice smooth as silk glide through the air. she breathed hard and rapid until her vision returned, she was in a hospital bed, an IV running up her arm and across the room Jack was standing, looking at her with concern, he returned to her bed.

"Elsa,-"

"Jack where-"

"Shhh... Elsa don't speak. Just breathe." Jack said and laid her back in the uncomfortable bed. Elsa could already feel the panic attack, but what was she so afraid of? She felt so confused, and sad- an unbearable, lonely sadness settled over her. She tried to remember where she was.

At school... At school with... With Anna. 

The name of her sister was bothering her, there was something not right. She pulled up the covers and stared in sheer horror at her clothes, her white long sleeved shirt was stained scarlet, her jeans were covered in red. Elsa's hand flew to her shoulder that was wrapped in the bandages. She remembered.

It all came rushing back to quickly, to harshly. She rolled onto her side with a sickening moan, the tears came through already swollen eyes.

"No... No no why is this happening?" She cried into the sheet and she felt a hand on her good shoulder.

"Elsa..." Jack's voice stopped as if he had no idea what to say.

"Anna." Elsa's eyes went wide and she whipped herself around on the bed so hard her shoulder dislocated. She cried out in the sudden, splintering pain and held her shoulder. She looked up at Jack. "Jack... Jack please were is Anna?"

"Elsa she's-"

"Take me to her- now!"

"Elsa you need to rest please I don't want you hurt."

"Then please. Please Jack get me to Anna." A nauseating thought dawn on Elsa. "Please tell me she is alive... " Elsa stared up at the big blue eyes. Jack gulped.

"Anna is alive, she's going to be okay." Jack whispered.

Elsa let out a long, agonized breath. "... Marco?" Elsa stared up at the white haired boy again, she was going to be sick- the memory of his limp figure falling as if it was a puppet cut from it's strings.

Jack pulled a chair next to her, he sat and rested his hands on the bed, dark circles captured his eyes and his skin was green with sickness. Elsa's heart punctured her ribs as she waited for his answer. No, not Marco, not my love. 

"Marco didn't make it Elsa." Jack's words hung in the air- still and dead. Elsa's head was suddenly heavier then it should have been. Her throat constricted with sobs, green emerald eyes haunted her.

The memories refused to stop haunting her, she brought her hands to her eyes but they still played over and over in her head.

"I still love you Elsa." 

"Hey FrostBite." 

"Don't do it Elsa..." 

"I love you Elsa I can't say it enough." 

"7th grade, we went swimming and my braces got caught on your neck tie? About then." 

The perfect smile, the perfect words, emerald eyes, jet black hair, his laugh, blue trucks, skateboarding, Marco, 

Her Marco her PERFECT Marco. 

"Elsa what are you so afraid of?" 

"What if her never knew Elsa? It can be our secret just you and me, I promise." 

"I love you so much Elsa I would never leave you, I love you FrostBite."

A secret, a gut wrenching secret that she had chosen him as a confident, her only Marco her best friend. 

Elsa whined pathetically, rolling on her side towards Jack. The pain was unbearable, greater then any cut on her arms had hurt. She felt empty, inside she felt dead, unbearably heavy with the weight that grief held, her cries were loud- hanging in the air like a disease. She clutched her chest, her stupid heart- her pathetic, useless soud was trapped and she hated it. She hated herself- she should never had told and maybe, just maybe Marco would still be alive.

It should have been me. 

Elsa was shocked by a hand on her back, a presence at her side- someone sitting her upright. She looked up into oceanic blue eyes and frigid skin, she allowed herself to limply set her head against Jack's chest. Her heart becoming numb with stress.

They stayed like that for hours, Jack engulfed Elsa in humming and soothing and she stayed limp- numb and dauntless in his arms. The white walls closing in on her. She cried, she screamed, whispered and clutched Jack with the little strength she had. The sound of a banging door made her jump and she hid her face into Jack's shirt. Jack jumped as well, his arms still around her, bringing her close to him.

"Elsa Aren?" a thick voice made its way across the room and Elsa pried herself away from Jack. She tried to steady herself on the bed and looked up at two strangers. "Elsa, do you know were you are?"

Hell. Elsa shook her head.

"Your in Metro Hospital, are you aware of your circumstances?"

Broken. Elsa nodded.

"We are going to need your clothes for the investigators, alright dear?" Elsa nodded and accepted the hospital gown that was held out to her. The two woman in front of her motioned for Jack to leave. Jack hesitated, still he lingered a few feet from Elsa, she turned and gave him a hesitant, reassuring nod despite the bile rising in her throat and the headache of watching him leave.

They allowed her to keep her underwear, but her top and her jeans were sealed into tiny bags and taken away by the petite, silent girl. The remaining doctor examined Elsa, of course she saw the purpled scars on Elsa's wrists, and they both stared at them. Elsa didn't recognize the arms as her own, she stared at the ladders she had thought would help her climb out of her hole, however she found herself in a much deeper, emptier place.

"Did you do this Elsa?" The doctor's voice was trained to monotone.

"Yes." She whispered through clenched teeth. "I want to see my sister." Tears continued to roll off her face. She stared at the motionless floor, gritting her teeth as the anger took its toll. I have lost everything... Everything to him. What he took... what he took can not be replaced. She ran her fingers through her hair angrily, landing on her face were she could try to hide herself. She pulled away only to stare at the intricate bumps and dents of what once she would have thought was beautiful. That was a lifetime ago. A life she could have lived, should have lived if it weren't for a terrible thief.

 

.:*:.

She slipped into the hospital room quickly and flew to the metal bed, she stopped- her fragile sister, beautiful fragile soul, lay with an abundance of cords and wires exploding from her face. Elsa took another step towards her, Jack was behind her and when he stepped into the room he froze, looked and turned to punch the wall.

"Anna..." Elsa tiptoed as if not to wake her. She felt herself falling and crumbling into the chair at her bed side. Elsa covered her mouth and stared. The redhead had once been stunningly beautiful and now her skin seemed deathly as the light pounded down on it. Her eyes sealed shut, her breathing strong yet irregular and her face... That once perfectly flawless face showed the scar of a bullet rupturing her jaw.

Elsa reached for her sister's hand, touching it gently and holding it in hers. The sobs started to return but they had nowhere to go, Elsa was dehydrated, her eyes had no water left to cry and her body was past the point of exhaustion after going through multiple medical exams. Her shoulder throbbed and her head was still ablaze. But all of those elements could falter, the ache of her heart was more deafening then any injury. Jack slid into the chair next to her, burying his head in his hands, his jaw flexed and un-flexed with rage, his knees trembled.

"Who would do this?" Elsa knew the answer to Jack's question but she just looked at him with a blank expression. They stared at each other for what felt like centuries. Elsa's pain became Jack's and his rage became Elsa's too. They felt their lives merge within the horror they had been through side by side.

"Monsters."

.:*:.

For two days the grief shrouded around Elsa like a shadow, things like loud bangs, the color green or the thought of being alone was enough to send her spiraling into a panic attack or a crying fit. She refused to leave Anna's bedside or to sleep for fear that her nightmares haunting her day would become real within a sleep. Jack stayed up with her, he brought her food and yelled at the lawyers and police officers that dared to try and ask her questions. He snapped when a doctor tried to get Elsa to leave the room, exploding into a rage.

Elsa tried to pick up herself, put the pieces of the puzzle together and form a person, Jack would sit in the chair next her and when Elsa clutched to Anna's hand he would rub her back and let her cry. He got her back into a pair of clothes from her apartment and on the third day a thought snapped into Elsa's mind that was sickening.

"Miza." Elsa stared at Jack.

"What?" The tired boy looked back at her with wide eyes.

"Miza. Jack you have to go get her." elsa's breath quickened and she picked up the phone- dialing Marco's foster care mother quickly. When she picked up her voice was thick with exhaustion.

"Hello?"

"Yvette it's Elsa."

"Oh Elsa dear," The woman's voice filled with pain. Elsa swallowed her tears but her voice trembled.

"Yvette, how is Miza?" There was a moment of silence.

"She has been asking for you hourly dear." Yvette's words sent pain splintering into her senses.

"I... Yvette what do I do?"

"You know she loves you Elsa, she is a mess here she wont eat, wont drink or sleep."

"I'll send Jack to go get her."

"Yes thank you Elsa that would be best."

She was about to hang up when she heard Yvette speak again.

"Elsa," There was a long, suffocating pause as his picture flashed in her mind, black hair, green eyes, fair skin. "he was a good person." No... He was an amazing person. Elsa's eyes blurred with the water they did not have.

"Yes. He is." she did not realize until she hung up the phone her mistake in words. Was. He was. And that was enough to make her engage in a suffocating sob, the tears stung her swollen face and she couldn't get the image of perfection out of her head. Of Marco, her perfection.


	12. Chapter 12

The consistent, devilish pulse of Anna's heart rate monitor was the only sound to breath the silence, slowly doctors had removed the millions of tubes that sprouted from Anna's throat, they had re-constructed the damage to her jaw but Anna would not eat solid food for months if she was ever to eat again. She was sedated for the pain, sleeping calmly. A long red scar shaped in what looked to Elsa like a broken, terribly distorted snowflake, erupted from Anna's jawline.

For a week Elsa was glued to Anna's bedside- refusing to leave. During the surgery to re-construct Anna's jaw she had been unmoved from the door, she did not blink, did not speak and did not cry until Anna came out of the door. A therapist came to see Elsa every day. She asked Elsa everything, while Elsa refused to answer any of the lawyers and police who came to her, she told the therapist everything. Jack did not leave the room either unless Elsa needed something or he went to go check on his sister and friends. He talked to her when she needed it, was silent when she needed it, and when he needed something, Elsa offered an embrace or tried to mumble familiar words. Miza arrived on the seventh day, she would have come sooner if it weren't for a battle erupting between Jack and Miza's foster siblings, which had ended with Miza crying and telling them that all she really wanted was Elsa.

Miza stepped through the door, latched to Jack's hand and when she saw Elsa tears flowed down her face. Elsa turned away from Anna's bed to the tiny girl, still the affection and the love remained locked in her chest but the familiar green of her eyes sent lumps through Elsa's veins.

Elsa wanted to scream at Miza to leave, Miza's soul reminding her too much of her loss and Elsa's head swirled with the migraine, but in that moment she lost all memory of Marco, pushed it into the darkest, deepest depths of her brain while she jumped out of her chair and ran for the little angel who had stolen the last black and empty pieces of her heart.

Elsa fell right to her knees and pulled Miza in close to her, the girl was crying so hard Elsa could feel her body rocking against her. Miza grabbed a handful of Elsa's hair like she had done since Elsa was 12 and had first met her with Marco. The memory of that day was so fresh and clear, she could see it, feel it. She could almost taste the sweetness of the day Elsa walked into the room and the tiny girl was instantly attached to Miza. She remembered every visit to the foster house, how the girl seemed to soothe over her broken heart. That was a lifetime ago though. An entire lifetime ago. 

Elsa held the girl so close she was afraid of breaking her.

"Oh Miza... Oh Miza darling I am so sorry." she stood and took the girl with her, Miza gripping Elsa for dear life. She walked up to the window while the agonizing tears rolled down and off her cheeks. It was not her pain though that caused her sudden crying, Miza's pain was so great it seemed to rattle the room and it seeped through Miza's skin into Elsa's own.

"Elsa." Miza said the single word, her lisp gone, her speech gliding perfectly across the room. It startled Elsa, and she bit her lip.

She stared out the window, her own reflection beating down on her. Jack glided across the room, his hand on the small of Elsa's back, Elsa rocked back and forth on her felt to calm the child.

"I miss him Elsa." Miza's words laced with agony.

"I miss him too." Elsa stared at her reflection harder, angrier, "I should have never told Marco about Hans, and he would still be here." Elsa had not meant for the words to be spoken out loud and when she realized they had reached Jack and Miza's ears she bit her lip. A small whimper escaped her lips. "What have Id one to you Miza? I have been so selfish and I stole away your brother. I owe you everything I have Miza. Oh Miza... this is all my fault" Jack's hand on her back stayed, Miza held onto Elsa even tighter and Jack's eyes laced with sorrow.

"Don't say that Elsa, this isn't your fault none of this is anybody's fault except Hans and Pitch. Marco-" Jack gritted his teeth at the name while it sent a cringe through Elsa. "Marco was an amazing person and he will stay unforgotten, and so will you Elsa." Elsa turned to stare at him, he looked down at her, his eyes were bloodshot with tears and Elsa grimaced, his words stuck in the dense air. She stared at the reflection again- a familiar sense of self hatred filling her. Elsa squeezed her eyes shut- each time she did so the memories came back to haunt her but it was better then facing the scene she was in. For hours they stayed in the tear ridden silence.

"Elsa. I want to stay here with you." Miza finally broke the silence. She loosened her grip on Elsa and looked out the window, but Elsa could see her looking at the reflection of Elsa holding her. Jack stared with them, the calming circles on Elsa's back seemed to relax her nerves the slightest, the migraine slowly dulled away at his touch. The three of them looked into the picture perfect shadows. Elsa looked older, had she aged so much in the past week? Jack looked old too, his child-ness had vanished. Elsa missed it, missed the way he used to light up a room.

"I'd never have it any other way." Elsa stated quietly and kissed Miza's forehead. She looked one last time at the reflection and turned away, sitting in a chair with Miza.

"Will you braid my hair?" Miza begged and slid onto the floor. She ran her hands through Miza's hair, the pattern coming naturally to her. As she finished she searched her wrists for a tie that was not there. Elsa didn't hesitate to take her own tie out to hold Miza's braid together.

.:*:.

"so you will take care of Miza? Yvette has agreed to this?" Dr. Amore asked and pushed her glasses back up her nose.

"Yes," Elsa blinked at stared for only a moment at the doctor's blue eyes. She fumbled with her phone in her lap.

"And will you be taking her on Wednesday?" Wednesday. Marco's funeral. Elsa could hardly speak of it, her pain was still too fresh.

"Well of course," Elsa stated, she had to go she needed closure, she did not expect that to happen in by the funeral in 5 days but it must help, thats what funerals were for right?

"That is very brave of you, and courageous." Brave. I sure as fuck don't feel brave. 

"Miza deserves it. And Id like to think people will remember him, he saved my sister." Elsa's voice trembled with tears, the memory so strong she gripped the arm of the chair until her knuckles whitened. She hated these therapy sessions, they were just too painful.

"How are the flashbacks? Are they getting any less consistent?"

"No. No they are still there, and they still hurt."

.:*:.

On the 11th day Anna woke up, she had been awake before but not long enough to hold a conversation.

"Elsa." She had whispered in the dead of the night. Elsa and Jack were awake, sleep wasn't an option for the nightmares always returned.

"Anna." Elsa rose to her feet, her sister's had found hers immediately.

"Marco... hes dead. Isn't he?" Anna stared at her sister's pained eyes.

"Yes." Elsa could barely whisper.

"It should have been me." Anna turned and stared at the large window and the starlit sky.

"Don't say that Anna." Elsa was up on the bed with her, she tucked Anna into the crook of her arm, careful no to hurt her. "Don't you ever fucking say that again." Anna cried into Elsa's side, Elsa barely held the tears back- she had to be strong now.

"I love you Elsa."

"I love you too Anna."


	13. Chapter 13

Elsa stared at the empty walls for one last time, hesitating before deciding one last walk through was necessary. She knew Anna Jack and Miza were waiting for her in her car, they could wait a few more minutes. She set her high top converse on the carpet again, setting her last box in the hallway before she ventured into the square of her abandoned den. The living room was bare, the balcony doors locked shut as was the kitchen. She ran her hand over the granite smooth were Anna had eaten the pizza and chocolate, were she had drank her coffee every morning to try an soothe her empty heart. She shuffled past the dining room, stopping only for a moment to stare at the place were Marco had discovered her secret. Elsa's eyes filled with tears that spilled again. She walked gently down the first hallway to her room, following her trails when she had run away in fear and locked a door to stare down a blade. She opened her bed room door were the mattress and bedpost that Marco had first made love to her on, what she could consider in her own mind as the place she lost her virginity.

Hans did not deserve that title.

She bit her lip again and her knees trembled in the doorway. Her head was overcome with the overwhelming sadness and she was terrified when she tried to remember the way Marco's skin felt against hers, and she could not remember. She tried to picture the curve of his jaw, a line she had memorize so well but the image was gone. She gritted her teeth when the only way she could see his face was when she remembered the way he pushed Anna away, the way he stumbled backwards at a hit to his purest point, the way his eyes flashed with fear and the way he turned to look at her for a split second before he hit the floor. The way his eyes glazed over and his lips parted in the sickening syllables of her name made her come spiraling out of control.

Elsa's legs gave way and she barely caught herself on the wall, she limped into the bathroom and stared at the mirror, as she was about to turn away she stared at her own disgust. She threw her knuckles into the mirror as hard as he could. The shattering of the glass a perfect memoir of her own state of mind. She realized she had not emptied her last drawer and when she yanked it open she found it vacant exempt a square of metal, a carpenters blade.

She touched it, swallowing her breathtaking sobs as a state of craving overcame her senses. She picked up her old friend and stared again at the blade.

I'm here for you. It seemed to whisper to her. I'll make it better. Elsa gripped in between her first two fingers and thumb of her right hand and held her left eagerly, but something had her hesitate. She sobbed once, her voice ringing through the empty halls.

"Elsa?" A tiny whisper sounded through the air and Elsa whipped her head around in fright, still jumpy. She was met by huge green eyes and coal hair. She suddenly remembered, his skin felt like flour to her fingertips. She remembered his jaw - it was a perfect curve, she could trace in on the counter top right now if she wanted to. She stared at Miza, and she remembered Marco. She flicked her gaze to the blade. I'll make it better. But at the sight of silver shining metal she remembered nothing, and nothing was better. She dropped the metal, hearing it 'clink' on the counter top and fell directly to her knees, letting out another sob.

"Oh Miza, Oh Miza darling I'm so sorry." She blinked up at the girl, she was staring at the metal on the counter top, she stared as Miza plucked up the metal again and say cross legged across from Elsa. "Miza, please, don't touch that," Elsa slid the blade out of her tiny hands. Miza took Elsa's arm, the one lined with purple and silver scars, she touched each one with an unreadable look.

"What are those from?" She whispered into think density.

"A battle." Elsa gulped, staring at the child she was responsible for now, hating every bit of herself for it.

"With what?"

"Myself."

"Why?" Miza flicked her gaze away from Elsa's arm and into her eyes, the emerald familiar and strangely comforting.

"I was lost."

"Did you find anything."

Elsa thought for a few moments too long. "Just how much I love you and Anna."

"And Marco?" Elsa nodded to her- the words sending pain crawling up her spine. "And Jack."

"And Jack." Elsa said. She threw the blade across the floor, bringing Miza into her arms.

"Elsa?"

"Yes darling?" Elsa whispered through the last of her sobs.

"Can I call you Mom?" Miza squeezed Elsa's sides with desperation, Elsa could feel the pain of her tiny heart and the shaking of her sobs as if they were her own. She kissed Miza's cheek and swallowed her pride, her fear, her cowardice, and her hatred for herself.

"Can me whatever you want to Miza."

"Okay... Mommy." And Elsa found herself within the maze, she found her face in the fog within the smell of Miza's hair and the clutch of her fingers on her sides, within Miza she saw Marco and she saw herself again.

She smiled and found the name on her lips important and full of life, full of taste. Mommy. Mom. Mother. Ma. 

Anna's footsteps came through the hallway and Elsa barely noticed when she knelt next to the cuddled two, touching Elsa's shoulder. It scared Elsa enough to make her jump and squeal for a split second. Her jaw, along with her metal state was still scarred but she was free to navigate herself

"Elsa?"

"Anna," Miza's eyes were found swollen and tear filled, Elsa and Miza welcomed the fidgety girl into their embrace and for a minute the three girls were silent.

"Can I call you Auntie Anna?" Miza whispered and Anna stared up at Elsa.

"If that's what you want." Miza smiled through her tears, and as they stood to leave, Elsa was too occupied with Miza in her arms to even notice or care about the blade collecting dust on the carpet.

.:*:.

"Its perfect." Miza said very plainly as she stared around her room. Elsa had gotten a side of a duplex at the last minute, knowing that she did not want to return to an apartment soaked with painful memories, as she knew a calmer, more isolated part of town would be good for Miza and Anna. The room was painted purple, a tiny bay window looked out at their half backyard and with North and Benny's help Jack and Elsa moved in a twin sized bed decorated with flowered green sheets from an online website.

"Are you sure? If you don't like it I will trade you."

"No it's perfect." Miza looked up at Elsa with big eyes and set down her box of clothes and few items.

"Okay, well... make it your own kay Miz?" Elsa waited for Miza to nod before leaving to help Anna and the others unload their new home.

Hours later after Benny and north had left and the house had been long unpacked Jack took Miza outside and Elsa joined him.

"So, Mom?" Jack mumbled into the wind and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"It was her idea." Elsa retaliated, her hostility sudden and uncalled for.

"I know." Jack said flatly, looking at Elsa with a hint of worry. "You need a ride to Dr. Amore's tomorrow?"

"No, I haven't driven a car in awhile, It'll be good for me I guess." Elsa looked up at him, he was so gentle, so sweet- wasn't he hurting? "Jack, are you seeing anyone?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are you okay Jack?" She swallowed hard when he gritted his teeth in silence.

"Sandy is better, Anna is better, Miza is getting better and Han's trial is soon. Everything is getting better right?" Elsa cringed at the mention of Sandy, the mute was already injured in his vocal cords and a shot to his head injured his head were his hearing was located, Sandy was permanently deaf. Another injury caused by Elsa's secret telling.

"Thats not what I meant, are YOU ok?" Elsa watched Miza stare at a yellow flower while she waited for his answer.

"No, no I'm not okay." Jack's voice faltered and Elsa watched his face changed. She hesitated nervously before hooking her hands around his waist in a comforting hug.

"I'm sorry." Elsa whispered.

"Don't be," Jack hugged her shoulders tightly, the two watching Marco's sister play in the grass as they traded comfort through whispers and embrace.


	14. Chapter 14

Beyond the glass barrier Elsa watched intently as Miza stood above the potted flowers, strange it was only February and the flowers sprouted from what Elsa had thought was an empty pot to make themselves seen.

"Elsa, If you don't study, you are going to fail your junior year." Anna whispered from the table where she was watching her computer screen blankly, with an unknown expression. The school had offered an 'at-home' school system while they were shut down and being observed for a crime scene investigation. For three weeks Elsa had not left the house, asking Jack once to go to the grocery store while North and Benny joined Jack every night to come visit Elsa and Anna for two-three hours. They were now not only connected by choice but by horror and understanding, no one but they could ever understand what they had been through.

"I'll re-take it next year. Plus, Mom and Dad's life insurance isn't going to support you and Miza for much longer." Elsa cringed at the thought of leaving the house every day or of Miza going back to school. Elsa had withdrawn her for one year and told her she could repeat second grade next year. Miza was terrified of going to school, she asked to be home schooled and Elsa still did not know how to answer that. Elsa could not even sleep at night or get up out of the bed in the mornings- how was she supposed to decide the child's future? How the hell was she supposed to set something stable up in Miza's world when her own was still falling apart at the seams?

"You should still go to school that's not fair." Anna sighed, her fingers gliding over the keyboard gracefully.

"Well I don't think its fair that you should have a scar on your beautiful face either but I guess we had no control over that did we?" Elsa's throat constricted with her words and she looked up at Anna, teary eyed again. "God... fuck I'm sorry Anna," Elsa gripped the edge of the counter tight enough to whiten her knuckles and leaned in, her head burning with lack of sleep and frustration.

"Well its' not fucking fair that one guy changed your entire life and flipped it upside down, it's not fair that Miza gets to grow up without her brother, it's not fair Marco is dead, it's not fair that Sandy is deaf, it's not fucking fair that I stay up all night because of the nightmares, it's not fucking fair, God its not fair." Anna's voice grew dense with agony and Elsa was instantly at the table, pulling a chair next to Anna's while her sister cried into her shoulder. "Fuck Elsa it's not fair at all."

"I know, I know it isn't fair at all." She hugged the girl tightly and before the tears could come she found herself holding back the tears. No, I have to be strong now. I have to be strong. She bit her lip only the slightest and waited until Anna's sobs slowed.

"I'm sorry." Anna whispered.

"Me too." Elsa whispered back as Miza stumbled in through the back door, the screen snapping shut loudly. The girl did not ask questions, in a flash of black hair she was in the muddle of a hug with Elsa an Anna, kissing Anna's uninjured cheek and Elsa's head, the small girl bringing light back into the depressed room.

"Anna, do you want me to braid your hair? It always makes me feel better." Miza's tiny voice rang out over the somber silence.

"Sure Miza." Anna smiled at her, and Miza guided Anna over to the couch were Anna could sit on the floor and Miza could pull her hair back. Elsa stared at the two, knowing in Anna's face how much she still hurt. She clutched her own shoulders, afraid of the bullets life had thrown at her would strike again. Elsa was instantly nauseous at the thought and she sprang out of the chair to relieve her weak stomach in the trash can.

Simple things had become harder, coffee was suddenly loosing it's taste, the cold was beginning to bite at her skin throughout the night. Things like doorbells or sudden movement-dogs barking or screaming from the neighbor's scary movie marathons was enough of a scare to send her into asthma inducing panic attacks witch she now had an inhaler there were moments when she was doing nothing, and suddenly adrenaline would steal her mental state as well as her lungs. She snatched the tiny metal off the counter as she felt her vision blur and her breath escape her too quickly. She inhaled the tiny crutch as her breath began to slow, the panic slowly fading as she repeated, Its ok, I'm ok, I am ok, I'm fine, Anna is okay, Miza is ok, everything is going to be ok. She found herself surprised when she realized the thoughts were not her own but Jack's, ones he had told her to repeat to herself during her first of many panic attacks at the hospital. She fell back into a chair, her hands neatly folded around the metal and bound to her chest.

It felt like only a few minutes had passed but when she looked up Miza and Anna were both sleeping on the floor by the couch. Elsa glared at the clock, 6:49. She stared at the green digital, each minute passing without Elsa's mind registering that there was any time passing at all. She slowly closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

.:*:.

Elsa was walking peacefully through a hallway in Fallen High School, she looked to her right and saw Hans backing her against the wall, the time she had squirmed from his grip. She looked to her right and saw the first time, the time in the girl's bathroom when everything had change. Clouds of anxiety fogged her chest as hands reached for her. She ran as fast as her feet would carry her and although she knew she was heading towards an exit she was tele-ported to the girl's locker room were she was bent over the counter hissing 'I'm already dead.' while seven dead girls with bullet holes in their head came to rescue her. Courtney Grasso's hand extended towards her in a dead cry for help.

Elsa pushed through the crowd, gripping her body hard enough it bleed, she stared at opened skin on her wrists in terror as rivers of scarlet gushed on her face and the tiled hallways. She was suddenly in a circle of blades, each whispering her name in foreign tongue. Then she heard the familiar voice.

"I love you Elsa." Marco called from behind her and she whipped around to see a smiling face and bright eyes.

"Marco? Marco!" She was overcome with shock she forgot everything else but just as her bloodied hand was about to touch his face he was falling backwards into a black abyss. She was touching a gave stone now instead and she fell backwards in another panic, watching her only lover slowly disappear within the black. She whipped her head around to find Hans and lunged at him, her nails digging into the skin of his throat, drawing blood as she watched life disappear from his evil. "You monster! You monster you monster go to hell! No how could you? What did I ever do- It isn't fair! Fucking die! Go to hell you devil!" She yelled in his face, "He was mine he was mine and you took him! You took everything from me you monster! You stupid- fucking monster!" She hissed and screamed until her mouth stopped working and his blood mixed with hers. Her face contorted in a monstrous, crazed rage. She stared at the mess.

"Elsa?"

And Elsa turned around to find Miza, staring at her with huge- terror filled eyes, then she turned away from Elsa.

"A battle... with myself." The tiny girl whispered and when she turned back around she was holding a square carpenters blade and her wrists were exact replicated of Elsa's.

.:*:.

Elsa jerked awake, her eyes peeled open in terror and her entire body twitching unnaturally. She brought her hands up to the table and ran her fingers down them unconsciously, screaming in a higher pitch then she ever had before. She could not get the images out of her screamed so loud that her own ears started ringing. She left huge scratches in the wood and broke all of her nails, bringing her hands up to her face as she continued to scream.

Anna jumped on the couch, her own panic attack on the brink. Miza was crying hysterically at the sight. When Anna was the tiniest bit calmer and less shocked she tried to calm Anna, however Elsa's mind was somewhere else, locked in a permanent state of horror. She didn't know what to do, Anna called Jack and he was their within 3 minutes- flying through the door to Elsa.

"Elsa! Elsa snap out of it! ELSA!" Jack took her by the shoulders, and shook her once. "ELSA!" and once she saw the blue eyes her mouth snapped shut, her body continued to tremor and spasm but she kept nodding her head like she didn't know where she was. She just knew Jack was there.

"M-M-Miza!" Elsa managed through the sobs and the girl came running to her, still crying.

"Mommy..." Miza said into Elsa's thigh, clutching it tightly.

Elsa's breath was fading but her eyes never left Miza, she snatched her inhaler and held onto it for dear life, meeting eyes with all three of the only things left she cared about. Turquoise, her Anna- her prized possession that she would protect with everything on earth heaven and hell. Emerald, Miza- the only thing that kept her sane, her medication, her heart the thing she held the tightest. Sapphire, Jack, her calm, her breath- her support her diary, the only thing that would keep her warm on the coldest of all nights.

"I love you." Elsa said to her treasures.

.:*:.

Morning came when she was sitting on her couch with her arms wrapped around Miza, and Jack's around her. Of course she could not have slept and instead was flipping through the same TV stations blindly. A knock from the door and Elsa peered over at an also still away Anna. She knew Anna was terrified of going to the door alone, hell so was she. Elsa freed herself from Jack and Miza expertly not awaking them and the sister came t the door together.

A man in a nice black suit with locks of black hair and a clean shave was peering back at Elsa with huge hazel eyes.

"Hello." Elsa said flatly, never fully opening the door and leaving the chain lock connected, never revealing more then an inch of her face.

"Hello, you are Elsa Aren, correct?" The man's voice was deep and rusty. She nodded and he cleared his throat. "My name is Carne Devello, I am the prosecution attorney for the Hans Valencia vs. State case. Do you have a moment?" Elsa glared at the man and opened her mouth to say 'no' when he interrupted her. "I know you probably do not want to talk about anything that has happened, however I think that you'll fond the circumstances different then you would think." Elsa thought for a moment, sending that bastard to jail was hardly a constellation to what she had lost, however she asked Anna to leave for a moment, not offering the lawyer to come inside and pinning him outside with the chain lock.

"Say what you have to say Mr. Devello." Elsa almost whispered.

"The defense is trying to get off on temporary insanity, claiming that Hans only-" He stopped and gave her an apologetic look, "That he only raped you once, and was under a long term temporary insanity." Elsa clenched her jaw and dung her fingers into the wood of the door. Only once? 

"What do you want from me?"

"A testimony."

"Is that all?"

"Pretty much,"

"Fine." She glared at the lawyer again. "Anything else?"

"Blake Pitch and Wesely Duframe hacked the camera systems before the shooting. We need proof of what happened in that stairwell." The man looked at her blankly. Elsa gritted her teeth again and felt her breath intensify.

"Fine. As long as Hans and Pitch suffer for every ounce of pain this has caused my sister, and Miza." Her eyes burned with untamed rage as she closed the door on the dumbfounded attorney.


	15. Chapter 15

Black lace was fitting, dark, yet gracefully potent. Thick, full of energy. Marco would have liked it. 

Elsa thought to herself as she thought blankly, her memory bringing her back to the day of Marco's funeral. It had been beautiful, although she hardly saw anything through a stream of tears. She had been angry at the sunny, warm day that reminded her of Marco's truck after school. She cringed at the sun whose touch was the taste of his lips against her skin. The only object keeping her afloat was the tiny girl dressed in black lace standing beside her. Miza was silent, lost in the ceremony and when the casket started to lower she fell to her knees. News reporters had been closed off but they still snapped pictures as Elsa fell with her, crumbling alongside Marco's sister.

"Marco! MARCO!" Miza screamed as the dirt was being piled on, and Elsa took her around the waist, rocking her back and forth. She did not tell Miza to hush, she angrily let her cries be heard. Elsa watched as her Marco was buried six feet away from her arms were he belonged. Miza and Elsa stayed as Yvette stood and left, as Anna and Tooth went to go wait in the car, as North and Benny and Sandy left. The two stayed even after the sermon left and the sun retreated, Jack's shadow lingering. Miza and Elsa stayed huddled together, feeling as dead as the flesh they knew was inside an oak box with green eyes and perfectly white teeth. She stayed until Miza's sobs turned to sleep and until her own turned to whimpers, into thoughts.

"Elsa?" Jack's words were so sudden Elsa jumped out of the porch chair and almost had to scramble for her inhaler. He jumped at her reaction, banging into the fence which made both of them jump yet again.

"God, Jack you scared me." Elsa breathed lightly and calmed the shaking of her hands. She flicked her gaze to Jack who was doing the same.

"I'm so sorry, Elsa." He stopped and shook his head, they both knew it was not his fault. "Carne Devello called, he want to meet with you and discuss Ha-" Elsa stopped him, begging him not to say the name, not to send her into another one of her flashbacks which were getting more and more common.

"Were?"

"At the coffee shop Benny works at." Jack waited for her patiently as five or ten minutes of silence filled the air. Elsa's mind went crazy and she played with the end of her braid. What if something bad happened? What if the paparazzi started snapping pictures and asking questons, the questions that would send her into memory induced black-out.

"When?"

"An hour." Jack replied blankly as he watched her face.

"I... I don't know."

"Elsa, it would be really good for you, you haven't been out of the house in a month, almost two, even your appointments with Dr. Amore have turned into phone calls. What happened that day has passed, we are all here for you,"

Elsa was threatened both by what Jack wanted her to do and by the anxiety clawing at her nerves. "Jack, I don't-"

"What about Miza?" Jack and Elsa both turned to look at the girl who was laying in the grass but now was standing, staring at the two and trying to listen to the conversation happening too far away from her ears. "She hasn't been out of the house either, and we both know she can't stay here forever."

Elsa sighed at his accuracy. "I-I... Fine. Fine I'll go with Miza... but who is going to watch Anna- I swear if something happens to her-" Elsa's words were tumbling out too fast and her lungs were burning.

"Elsa- hey. Nothing is going to happen to Anna, I'll watch her."

"No."

"No?"

"No you have to go with me." Elsa whispered, Please don't let them get me again. 

"I will." Jack's hands were pressed down in his jeans and without thought Elsa looped her arms through his and clung to him. Don't let him get me again. She squeezed her eyes shut and her entire body started trembling out of control. Don't let ME get me again. Jack's arms around her pulled her out of the alleyways of her mind and back into the light.

.:*:.

Elsa's fingers tapped the dashboard nervously, she dared not look out the window for fear of the being recognized by the public. She looked back at Miza whose eyes were flickering around the unfamiliar world around the Honda. Jack stopped at the cafe, looking once at Elsa then Miza and back to Elsa again.

"Are you ready?" Hell No. 

"Yes." Elsa whispered and looked back at Miza. "You ready sweetie?"

"Can I have a hot chocolate?" Miza turned her head to the side, the question was so normal, so comfortable. 

"Of course you can get whatever you want." Elsa stared at the side view mirror for a moment too long. Her hair was pulled into a braid while her bangs sat on her head naturally, her makeup consisted of eye shadow but no liner as Caine had instructed. Elsa twisted her nose ring once before unhooking it and setting it in the middle console. She adjusted the long sleeves of her black shirt and took one last breath.

The pavement was foreign to her converse and the air was strangely fast, moving changing, forgetting. She slammed the door, almost running to the backseat to bring Miza into her arms. The girl was as wide eyed and terrified as she was and Elsa trotted on the sidewalk, pausing as she was lost in a haze of faces and movement, traffic lights screamed at her and widow panes slammed into her chest. She was about to scream from the pounding anxiety that locked her chest and suffocated her when Jack's touch calmed the raging world around her.

"Its okay Elsa. You are ok, Miza is ok, everything is ok." His whispers extinguishing the fire in her throat and she nodded quickly. Miza's arms around her neck keeping her memory clear and her eyes dry. Elsa looked at Jack thankfully and he waited for her to nod before they both walked into the cafe. The place was desolate, abandoned exempt the workers and a few grouchy business men. She spotted the mop of black hair and hazel eyes instantly and walked towards Caine Devello.

"Hello Miss Aren, Miza." Carne stood and nodded to them, pulling out the chair for Elsa due to her full arms. "Thank you, Elsa, for talking to me."

"Of course" Elsa murmured and set Miza in the chair, taking her place next to the girl.

"That is quiet an outfit you have on Miza." Carne smiled kindly at Miza. Miza had the freedom to pick any item of her clothing she wanted to, Elsa didn't mind, and today Miza had chosen a purple skirt with a blue top and long socks decorated by a pair of Vans.

"Thank you." Miza smiled at the man and Elsa's mind was temporarily lost in the buzz of a normal conversation. Caine took a seat, folding is hands together on top of his note pad while Jack stood to get Miza a hot chocolate.

"So Miss Aren-"

"Elsa." she interrupted him and blushed pathetically. Idiot. Her sub conscience hissed at her while Elsa shook off the familiar feeling.

"Sorry, Elsa, their are some questions that... I'm not sure if you'd want Miza to hear and quiet honestly I would not be comfortable asking with her here." Caine raised his brows apologetically.

"Oh I uhm..." Elsa trailed off, her eyes glued to Miza who was pulling on the loose strings of her skirt.

"...Elsa?" Carne snapped her awake again, her stomach crawling with stress.

"Oh! Yes, Jack... Jack could always stay here with Miza..."

"Would you mind going for a walk?" Carne tipped his head sideways.

"...Sure... That's... that's fine." Elsa pulled at her sleeves, a nervous habit she resorted to when her head felt like it was going to explode. As if by pulling down the fabric the scars had never happened.

.:*:.

"When did you meet Hans?" Carne's voice slid smooth into the air, Elsa's hand gripped the coffee cup and the warming of her palm contradicted the freezing of her nerves.

"Freshmen year, he was a football player, I was a cheerleader but I never really talked to him. He was never really there except for the football games and I remember the first game he found me after practice and introduced himself." Elsa curled at the memory, she had figured Hans was just a weird loner or something, maybe he was gay or had an abusive dad or this that and the other. Incorrect. And she barely stopped her head from proving it's point.

"Did anything seem, off, per say, about Hans?"

"Well yes, it was just... that look in his eyes... and once he started becoming popular girls were all over him, he just was always so mysterious and I think other people liked that about him."

"Did you?"

"No. Hans always scared me. He was that kid were if he would have been planning to shoot everyone in the school no one would be surprised." Elsa said flatly, her lungs begging for more air she could not give, her voice became thick with sadness and fear. When Carne hesitated she looked over at him to find him looking right into her eyes.

"Did he rape you?"

"Yes." Elsa ripped her gaze away from his, tears did not come, but her throat began to close up on her.

"Once?" At Carne's question Elsa was almost sick, rage boiled of its turning point, Elsa almost laughed she was so angry.

"No. Not once."

"How many times?" Carne's voice became quieter and Elsa glared angrily at the normality of the world rushing around her. She gritted her teeth as the painful memories cause a tear to escape her eyelid and her voice became dark and agonized.

"I stopped counting." Carne gave her a moment, which Elsa took to try and gather herself.

"Did he ever threaten your life?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"I can't do this." Elsa yelled when the memory of the alleyway and the picture and the evil look in his eyes came rushing back. "I'm sorry I can't do this." Elsa stood and threw her coffee in a trash can, her feet moving fast across the cobblestone.

"Wait, Elsa I can't let him get away with this," The hazel-eyed boy yelled after her.

Elsa focused on the path ahead of her, she did not care when her sleeve slipped and her purpled wrists shone bright above the crowd of disgusted faces. She did not care when she crossed the open street and multiple cars screeched and barely missed her. She did not care when the world that only saw her cover pretended they knew what was on the inside. She did not care when she tried to imagine Marco and now only saw Miza. She did not care that she couldn't remember Anna's face without it's red slashed scar. She did not care when her lungs became greedy and her heart stopped pounding the right way. She did not care that she was slowly breaking on the inside.

But that was only what she told herself, everyday she tried not to care. But her frozen heart demanded heat. And when she collapsed on the sidewalk, she began to remember that reflection in the mirror of a broken girl she dd not recognize and she tried not to care about how badly that girl inside was screaming everyday. She tried not to care about how low she had fallen when her hands barely caught her, and she began to taste the bitter hatred on her tongue. She lunged past a crowd of people around the broken girl and ran towards the lawyer who was willing to help her kill the man who killed her first.


	16. Chapter 16

"Miza darling are you ready yet?"

"Yes Momma," Miza walked down the hallway with her head hanging low, months passed since the coffee shop and the girl was still skittish however was willing to step out in public. The green fabric of her dress was a few shades lighter then her eyes, making Elsa realized how much light the second grader kept concealed within her iris. "Is this alright?" Miza asked nervously and Elsa nodded, picking up the girl and placing her on her hip- landing a kiss on Miza's head. Her heart sagged as she held Miza close for a few moment before releasing her and letting her down.

"Do we have to go to this Elsa I'm so scared." Anna whispered from the kitchen as she stared at the table. Her shoulders were trembling and she was touching the scar tissue on her face like she usually did when she was nervous. The black blouse and skirt she wore trembled with her, making her seem small and vulnerable. Elsa craved the old Anna, the hyper- electric Anna. Selfish much? Elsa winced at her own mental brutality and managed to smile at her sister despite the urge to fall away and break again.

"Its ok Anna, people will be there-"

"So will he." Anna's eyes stretched wide. Hans. Elsa had been awaiting this day for weeks, Hans's hearing. Carne had instructed that Elsa come to the courtroom with both Anna and Miza. 'You have to win the jury, make everyone see that your the innocent heroin in this case.' Elsa hated the word, heroin, she was no hero, Marco was a hero, Jack was a hero, she was the one who pushed over the first domino.

"Police and Carne and Jack will all be there, he can't do anything." Elsa touched her sister's shoulders until Anna relaxed. "It won't be long, please Anna we have to win this." Anna's jaw stiffened.

"He already has." She whispered.

"No, don't say that Anna." Elsa's head willed with boiling rage as the thought swept over her. No, Hans does not win, he can't win. 

Jack knocked three times, then twice, then twice again. A rhythm Elsa had taught Jack so that she knew it was him. She made her way across the living room away from Anna to open the door and when Jack saw the look on her face he was instantly worried.

"Els, you ok?"

"I'm fine. I just, lets go." She shook her head angrily and gestured for Miza to come. "Anna," She called as lightly as she could to her sister who came nervously down the hall. As the four piled into Jack's car Elsa silently wished she would wake up from this terrible nightmare.

.:*:.

"Elsa how are you dealing with Hans's trial?"

"Elsa is it true you've taken Marco De'James's younger sister under your wing?"

"Elsa Aren!"

"Elsa"

"Elsa"

"Elsa"

Her breath began to shorten as Elsa stared at the paparazzi, they snapped pictures whose flashes left her blind and terrified, their voices were filled with pressure and suddenly her world was black and the ground was flying up towards her face again. Jack's hand pulling her off the stairs and through the court house doors. He sat her on a bench as she clutched her inhaler. She stayed for a few minutes, Miza clutching her around the waist and Anna still staring wide eyes at the reporters outside.

"I'm sorry." Elsa gasped and Jack whispered that she shouldn't be, waiting for her breath before he offered a reassuring smile.

"Hey, its going to be okay Elsa." He touched her shoulder and she nodded at him before they pushed there way into the court room were more pictures were snapped and they sat on the reserved seats for them.

The judge was an older woman, in her early 60's with a mean looking face and a short figure, she stared at the papers on her desk and made no notice to anything around her. The jurors all sat with there backs straight as responsibility held them upright. Anna sat so close to her that Elsa's shoulders hurt, but she took Anna's nervous hand as they both stared at the empty defendant's table. Miza crawled onto Elsa's lap and Jack's presence placed a shock absorbing blanket over her state of mind.

Suddenly a loud door opening made Elsa jump as police funneled through the entrance of the courtroom, an orange jumpsuit warned Elsa to look away but instead of taking it she found herself glaring at dark eyes and ginger hair, her skin crawled with nerves like she had her entire freshmen year, she almost checked behind her to make she he wasn't there. Her breath quickened with the adrenaline of that day as she saw him place a gun on her scarred sister's head. she gritted her teeth as to not scream and held Anna's hand even tighter as she felt the red-head doing the same.

"Is that him?" Miza's voice was so tiny Elsa could feel the tears laced on it.

"Yes." Elsa gulped

"I hate him." Miza said with a shaky voice. the trial for the death of Elsa's love, innocence, and happiness began with the murderer looking her in the eye, smiling and hissing,

"Hey Elsa." and he looked away from the crowd of shocked faces as Elsa fell into a line of fearful sobs.

"Get me out of here." She yelled at Carne. "Get me out of here!"

Elsa stood and gripped Miza in her arms, trying to make a run for the door when Carne stopped her.

"Elsa keep it together," His voice was calm and quiet, Elsa could feel the eyes of the jury on her.

"No! Please get Miza and Anna out of here." Her voice was shaky as she shot a glance towards the amused looking Hans.

"Fine, but I need you to stay here-"

"No!" Elsa begged and the judge proceeded to hush her.

"Counselor if you don't control your witness I'll call no spectators."

"Yes, your honor." Carne apologized and looked back at Elsa.

"Elsa." Miza's voice whispered to only her ears. "Marco needs us here."

Elsa stared at the girl with teary eyes, sinking back into her seat beside Anna and Jack.

"He deserve that much from he doesn't he?" Elsa whispered to herself and stared at the wall, away from the defendant who was staring right through her, undressing her and raping her all over again through the haze of his eyes. Elsa held Miza closer then ever, relying on the seven year old's strength to keep her alive.

.:*:.

Hans plead guilty to conspiracy of a crime, carrying a weapon with dangerous intentions, and assault on a minor. He plead not guilty to murder of the first degree and rape. As the words 'not guilty' left Hans's lips Elsa cringed with hatred and squirmed with anger.

In the car she stared out the window, Carne had volunteered to schedule a meeting at his office were she could review her testimony. Anna had Miza wrapped in her arms in the backseat, Miza still crying from the mention of her brother's name. Anna was tearing but her gritted jaw kept her mind straight. Elsa looked at Jack, his grip on the steering wheel was too tight and his eyes were bright with rage.

Elsa could not help but wonder were she would be if she had never told Marco about Hans, would he still be alive? Would Anna still be scarless and beautiful? Would she still remember how to smile? Would Jack still be a bright hearted child on the inside? Would Hans still be free? Would he have raped her again? There was not a doubt in Elsa's mind saying he would have not.

Would it have been easier to kill herself before things had gotten so bad?

Elsa screamed, she did not realize she had screamed until Jack slammed on the brakes and looked over at her. She screamed at herself in the reflection of the windshield, she pulled herself into her knees and bit her kneecaps, her lungs forced another after another, insane screams forcing their way into the air as she realized she could not take any of them back, every sound out of her mouth was already voiced and she could not keep quiet any longer.

.:*:.

"Shh... Elsa it's okay... everything is going to be okay..." Elsa nestled her cheek into Jack's chest, her lungs still fighting as the sobs continued, she left a trail of tears over Jack's shirt and pulled his as close as she could, she wanted comfort and Jack was the only comfort she knew.

"Jack... I-I'm ... s-so scared." She struggled to make out words through her child-like cries.

"It's okay Elsa," his hands made circles on her back in a comforting rhythm. "You don't have to be afraid anymore, its over." She pulled her feet towards herself on the couch, trying her hardest not to wake Anna and Miza who were sleeping.

"D-Don't leave... Me ton-night." She sobbed out harshly.

"I won't Elsa," He said against her forehead, his lips brushing her skin. "I won't leave if you don't want me to."

Elsa looked up at Jack and the blue of his oceanic eyes washed over her with comfort, her mind settling the storm inside. He rested his chin on her head, a place she felt most comfortable, where the crook of his neck protected her from each evil which had made home in her life.

"Stay with me, please." The pounding in her chest granting her words painful slurs. "Stay." She said with a heavy heart.

"I will." Jack said once again very firmly.

"Why? I want to know why -why you're ch-choosing to stay."

"Because I love you." His words were laced with agony. "Because I love you and Anna and Miza, because I don't belong anywhere else."

Elsa cried longer, harder, absorbing his thoughts and revising her own. She shivered in the cold and Jack's body made her warmer.

"Just please stay Jack,"

"I will."


	17. Chapter 17

"Hello?"

"Hello Elsa it's Carne."

"Oh hey, is something wrong?" Elsa's breath quivers, she takes a deep breath and stares at a dark spot on the ceiling, preparing herself for the worst.

"No, nothing wrong. I wanted to speak with you about your appearance at the ceremony for the victims of the Fallen High shootings tomorrow."

"I don't understand, I wasn't planning on going. Jack was going to take Anna and the others,"

"Well now you are, you realize Elsa that even though you are not in a courtroom the jury and the public are still deciding on Hans's sentence. Your testimony is in two days and you want to make the best image of yourself available to the jury."

"Oh," At the idea of showing up looking familiar students in the eyes and finding sight of the parents whose childrens' death was her fault, sent waves of nausea prowling through her organs. "So I will go with Anna and Jack, but I don't know who will watch Mi-"

"Bring her, it looks good." Elsa's head boiled with rage at his words. Looks good? Is that what this is now? 

"Fine." Elsa hung up before Carne had finished his sentence, and of course he called her back immediately.

"Look innocent Elsa."

"Innocent?" Elsa gritted her teeth.

"No nose rings or band shirts, ditch the converse. The public wants to feel sorry for you so let them."

Elsa could hardly contain herself, from her perch in the kitchen she looked across the room at Miza who was playing with a deck of cards and Jack who was speaking with her quietly and looking up at Elsa every few seconds, as if he could sense her anger. Elsa's hand gripped the counter with such intensity that her knuckles ached.

"Right."

"See you tomorrow Elsa." Click. 

Elsa stared at the hallway, turning sharply to follow her eyes into Anna's room. The ginger's face was calm with concentration, a state that Elsa had never seen on her before. The painting easel was splayed with grays and reds, backed by a white and shades of blue. She looked over Anna's shoulder to find a breathtaking portrait.

"Anna," Elsa placed her hand on Anna's shoulder but new found artist only nodded.

"Do you like it?" Anna's voice was small and silky smooth. Elsa stare at the face, an invisible line dividing the red hair from the white, cracks and line's breaking over the older sister's face while identical blue eyes stared straight ahead, both memorized by the sight they saw.

"Its beautiful." She felt the girl release a long, drawn out breath. "What is it Anna?"

"Carne wants us to go to the ceremony doesn't he?"

Elsa shuddered and stared as the words left Anna's lips. "How do you know that Anna?"

The girl pointed with her paintbrush at the second land line sitting by her easel.

"I'm sorry Anna if you don't want to go don-"

"Thats not it Elsa." Anna whispered. "Don't you think we owe it? We survived Elsa, we're not the ones six feet underground."

Elsa would have disagreed, they were six feet under, just not in the same place the victims were.

"Elsa," The girl turned and looked at Elsa, her eyes shining with hurt and tears. "We are alive. Yes, sometimes its a living hell but don't you think we... we owe them something? Don't I owe them something?" The girl looked back at the painting but set her brush down, staring at her hands. "Why was it so important that I live? And not Courtney, or Sara, or Layla?"

Elsa stared at her and shifted to Anna's side, coming down to sit on her knees, so that the girl would hear her. Her throat stung with a million regrets and all the love she had ever known.

"Anna, where did you hear those names?" Anna continued the staring game with her hands, silence folding out in between the girls. "Anna look at me," She waited for the ginger to meet her gaze, "Anna, I know bad things happen, I don't know why but they do, and we can't change any of it. We can't bring any of those girls back. What has happened is not something anyone can reverse, I wish we could start over and try to save them. I wish that shooting had never happened, I wish Marco was still here. But If you had been the one to fall in that shooting-" Elsa shuddered as tears broke out of her eyes and her own advice began playing to herself. "Anna you are the best thing in my life, I love you." Anna stared at her sister, and Elsa stared back. Anna touched Elsa's face, leaving a trace of blue paint.

"You loved Marco Elsa didn't you? Would you wish it was me?" Anna whispered. Elsa shook her head, smearing the paint and staring up at her sister. With that statement Elsa felt a scream build in her stomach when she realized no, she would not have chosen Marco. She would have let the same scene play over and over again if it meant Anna lived.

"No... No Anna. I loved him very much." Elsa reached up to her sister, touching the scar on her jaw. "But not nearly as much as I love you."

Anna looked back at her sister and took her hand, leaving another splash of grey paint on her knuckles. Elsa's sister helped her back up to her feet and hugged her around her waist abruptly, burying her face into Elsa's shoulder.

"I love you too Elsa."

.:*:.

The ceremony took place on the football field, the one Elsa had walked across everyday since her moving, a place were she thought she knew each strand of grass by heart. For example, she knew that underneath the bleachers facing the school was a stone wall blocking anyone outside of the schools view. She also knew that about a hundred yard down the cobblestone path was a back alleyway were a boy had once dropped a picture of a girl's family at her feet. She knew that there was a fault in the concession stand, that a paperclip could open it and that it was soundproof.

Elsa stared through her windshield, the battling of her memories becoming more and more of an uphill battle. She gritted her teeth and stared don at her attire. She had a blue jacket and a pair of blue jeans she had never worn before. He said innocent and well, Elsa looked like the cheerleader she was at the beginning of freshmen year. She had tried to go easy on her makeup, but in the end she had given in to the black eyeliner. Her hair was pulled into a bun, despite her desire to put it in a braid. She twisted the ring in her nose once before removing it and despite Carne's wishes she had worn her black ankle high converse. She turned the ignition off and looked over at Jack, his hands were tucked into a similar blue hoodie and his eyes were fixed on the big letters of 'FALLEN HIGHSCHOOL, WE REMEMBER'. She swiveled her head to find Miza staring at the loose strings in her skirt. Anna was staring into nothing, the fact they were so close to the school was driving them both insane.

"Anna?" Elsa waited to meet her sister's gaze.

"Ready." The ginger mumbled.

"Miza?" The girl looked at Elsa and nodded.

"Jack." She stared at the boy, he turned his head slowly, placing his hand over hers.

"Only if you are." He squeezed gently and she let a forced smile fall on her face. They all piled out of the car, Elsa opening the back door and picking up Miza to set her on her hip, the way Carne had told her too but also because she was terrified of letting the girl go. Miza's arms draped over her neck and they trudged up to the football field. She stiffed, watching as a few small reporters snapped a picture. One began to walk towards her and she put her hand up, silently begging the reporter not to and the woman left without a word- throwing Elsa a sympathetic glance.

Elsa sat on the ground bleachers people cleared for her and gulped down a breath, watching as parents came to speak of their deceased children. A picture of Courteny flashed on a white projector board set up with extension cords and crazy complications. Her blue eyes matched the ones that found Elsa. Courtney's smile was wide but despite the picture in front of her eyes Elsa could only imagine the girl the way she layed on the cafeteria floor, her hand outstretched and surrounded by blood.

She recognized the girl with black hair she saw in the hallway, crumpled and shattered. Her name was Amanda Baerr, she was a music major and had three older brothers who all came to saw a few words about her.

Sara Lopez was an aspired hockey player, her favorite color was orange and her father had left her mother and sister when she were three.

Alexia Denna was a model, on her was to a competition and her two mothers came to tell the story of adopting her.

Layla Rodriguez was a teen mom whose baby was no being raised by her brother, Sam, and the baby's father.

Jenny Kade was a heroine addict fresh out of rehab.

Riley Jones was a straight A student who was working at a coffee shop to buy her own car.

The seven girls who had found her all had fallen.

Elsa stared at the pictures for what seemed like forever, a boy with blonde hair came onto the screen as well. His name was Jacob, he was the captain of the baseball team and Pitch had killed him for just that reason.

Elsa tore her gaze away, tears glazing her eyes as she met Yvette's gaze. she was there with two of Marco's foster brothers. A 12 year old girl named Fluer and a 17 year old boy, Rafe. Elsa had never spoken to either of them, but they knew they were forever connected by Miza's brother.

Then his face appears on the screen, huge emerald green eyes glisten and stare as if begging her for a reason, a reason to why she had not loved him more, while he was still there. She felt Miza grip her neck tighter, felt the girl's sobs rock her body in the same pattern of her beating heart. It's broken rhythm dancing across her veins. She watched the principal step onto the podium, his eyes were grey, exhaustion taking its toll. He had aged twenty years in the past months.

"Marco De'James... Was a good young man. He would walk into a room and light everything up." Yes, yes he did. Elsa closed her eyes and let his words soak into her skin. "He was adored by many, but lets be real. Marco was a teen he got into fights. For all the right reasons. Marco was in my office just a week before the shooting... after getting in an altercation in the hallways of the building he was shot in. He waited until a boy involved in the shooting left. He looked at me and he said 'Sir, I was only fighting, because I knew it was right.'" Elsa bit on her lip, that was her Marco. "Today we have Miza De'james... Marco's younger sister, here with us." The principal gestured to Miza and Elsa opened her eyes to faces turning, looking at the girl in her arms. A tear escapes Miza's eyes and she looks at the principal with all her essence. "As well as her caretaker, and Marcos friend, Elsa Aren." Elsa swallowed hard as the principal caught her eye. "And I admire both or their bravery, Just as much as I admire Marco's, for stepping in front of a bullet which saved Anna Aren." Anna's sobs were audible next to Elsa, and Miza turned, looking at Anna and whispering.

"I love you Anna."

"Oh Miza," Anna sighed through sobs. "I love you too."

"Today, I want everyone here to recognize Marco's heroism and bravery, Marco, you will forever be a hero to all of the Fallen High School shootings survivors."

.:*:.

"The blue one." Jack pointed at the shirt in Elsa's right hand.

"You always choose the blue one." Elsa said and raised her eyebrows at him.

"You look good in it." He shrugged and smiled, straightening his polo. Elsa turned, walking back into her room were she pulled to fabric of her sweater off and replaced it with the long sleeves of the blue top. Elsa then was struck by the thought of the jury seeing her scars. Disgust ran wild through her already crawling skin and she shook her head, pulling her hair into a braid again. She swallowed, staring in the mirror that she usually ignored. The reflection was porcelain skinned, with blue eyes and a shameful look on her face.

Knock-knock. "Can I come in?" Jack's words floated into her room.

"Yes." She turned a he stepped into the blue painted walls and black attire.

"You look beautiful." Jack looked into her eyes and smiled, a genuine, warm smile.

Elsa had almost forgotten what those looked like.

"Oh, thank you." Elsa adjusted her white skirt and sighed. "I look like a middle schooler." Jack laughed and shook his head.

"No, just a really cute junior."

"Whatever," Elsa turned and looked at the mirror again. "Really though the white skirt? dress shoes? Is Carne trying to make me look like a child?"

"Sure, I guess that works well on a jury." Jack shrugged plainly. The thought of a jury resurfaced in Elsa's head, she was going to be sick. Her legs shook the slightest and Jack's hand on her shoulder kept her still.

"I just want this to be over so badly."

"I know, we all do." Jack looked down at her while Elsa stared at the mirror. She turned and leaned into him, her head resting on her shoulder. He put his arms around her quickly, and Elsa raised hers to hold on for dear life. She looked over at the mirror, their reflection a reminder that she was connected to Jack so what was known as eternity. "You going to be okay Els?"

Elsa nodded into him and watched as he hesitated, before placing a kiss on her forehead.

Elsa almost thought of Marco.

And then she did. Even though her skin was burning, th affection left on her forehead left her hungry, left her greedy. It was so warm, in her cold world. And when Jack's lips left her forehead Elsa whispered into his shoulder.

"Thank you Jack." Elsa blinked a single tear, her eyes fixed on the reflection, her face blank, unknowing. How was she supposed to feel? "Thank you..." her hands dug into Jack a bit tighter, a little closer.

Jack only smiled a quick smile and held her tighter. Elsa wanted to believe that after the trial, she could start over.


	18. Chapter 18

Elsa stared at the blue electric digits. The alarm clock screaming, and her heart pounding. She turned it off as to not wake Miza or Anna, or even Jack who had almost permanently settled on the couch. Elsa forced her spine to pick up her body weigh as her eyes locked. Her head pounded with the migraine of a sleepless night. Sounds familiar doesn't it?

Elsa touched her cheek, yes she was still there. She stared at the long sleeves and pulled them down, purple lines etched with silver waking her fully up. Yes, she was still there. It was not a dream. She ran fingernails through her scalp and gritted her teeth, was it possible to not know if you're still alive?

Apparently, it was for Elsa. She almost bolted for the shower, her stomach turning. She couldn't stop the images, the blood curdling pictures. She barely made it to the toilet, purging away all her thoughts. She gripped her stomach, willing herself not to make another mistake, Don't feel. A voice deep inside tried to rescue her, Don't feel. 

But the images were too unkindly, the thoughts, disturbing. She saw MArco again and again, falling to the floor- disappearing from her veiw. Her dream were Miza turned around with replicated wrists of Elsa's own. Anna screamed she wished it was her not Marco and a gravestone with 'Anna Aren' was enough to send Elsa spiraling out of control.

When her stomach had nothing left to give, her lungs begged for too much air. Elsa scrambled through the medicine cabinet, cases on anti-anxiety pills dropping to the floor. Her inhaler, she needed it where was it? Her breath became raspy, her throat bled from the over exposure and right when Elsa felt her eyes begin to roll back into her head she stumbled backwards into Jack's open arms, an inhaler in his hand.

In one hand was Elsa, in the other was her inhaler, Jack held it up to her mouth and pressed the button, Elsa breathing in the soured medication.

"Jack." Elsa breathed once her lungs were calmed, the sour smell of bile still fresh on her lips.

"Sh... Elsa don't say a word... Everything is okay." He held her close, and Elsa melted in his arms. She let out a single sob, the rest was just water flowing free from her eyes. Jack shut the toilet lip and sat Elsa on top of it, comeing down to his knees. His thumbs wiped away her tears, and her set his forehead on hers.

"This is a nightmare." Elsa whispred, her eyes closed tight and her hands gripping his shoulders.

"I'll wake you up." Jack's breath was warm against her chilled skin.

"This can't be real." She murmered again, as if she had not heard him. Her fear speaking for her.

"Then I'll dream with you."

"I think I'm going crazy."

"Then I can't be sane." Jack cupped her cheeks in his hands, Elsa's breath becoming lighter, and her tears becoming dryer. "Take a shower Elsa, get ready for the trial..." She could feel Jack shiver at the mention of the trial, and Elsa felt her own skin become sick with agony.

"Okay." Elsa could barely manage a whisper and when Jack stood up she pulled herself up with his help. He turned to leave, and Elsa pulled on his shoulder.

Don't leave me. 

"Jack." She said again, the word that felt so comforting on her voice. She hesitated, knowing it was wrong, but she kissed his cheek sweetly, slowly, fearfully.

When she pulled away she looked right up into blue eyes, oceanic, gorgeous. He looked back at her with sorrow, an expression that as still stinging the back of her throat.

"Elsa, don't be afraid." He said so softly she could have sworn it had never been vocalized. "Don't be afraid of living."

Elsa searched for something more in his orbs, and only replied when she knew he was sincere. "I'm not afraid of living. I just wish I wasn't"

The gritting of Jack's jaw was visible, the way he looked... He looked like he wanted to scream. The tense of his chest, the tears in his eyes, the stiff of his shoulders all seemed to speak the truth about how sad he was. She looked into his eyes and saw a child, who was forced to grow up too suddenly, too fast, who still didn't understand that no matter what happened the world was still spinning. A child who did not understand that although they were going through a tough time there were still people waking up with newborn babies, children running paper routes, teenager going to high school and feeling safe, cops finding abusive wives beating there children, a psychiatrist speaking to a rape victim.

She looked at Jack and saw herself hidden within the two shades lighter hair, the three shades darker blue, the matching porcelain skin, the smile she forgot.

"Elsa-" She stopped his with the uplifting of her hand, she stared into his eyes and watched a single tear break free.

"I'm not going to leave you Jack, you made a promise... and now I'm making it back." His eyes, the light coming back into his eyes was immaculate. "I'm staying right here... Jack... forever." She turned her gaze back up into his eyes.

No, she would not mind spending an eternity with Jack.

.:*:.

"Are you going to be okay Miz?" Elsa was leaning over, to meet Miza in the eyes.

"Mom, I'm okay." Miza managed a smile and kissed Elsa's forehead. "Go make sure that bad-guy goes to jail."

Elsa smiled, her throat closing at Miza's request.

"Of course I will." She messed with Miza's hair and stood back up, looking a Tooth. The girl had changed alot, she was quieter, but still bouncy and OCD as she was when Elsa met her. "You alright with this Tooth?"

"Of course Elsa." Tooth threw her arms around Elsa in a friendly hug. "You go get him alright?" Elsa nodded and when Tooth let go, Sandy looked up at Elsa, he flashed her a thumbs-up, his most common form of communication. She flashed it back, and smiled. Her phone rang in her back pocket.

"Hello?" Elsa answered before looking at the name. Carne. 

"Elsa, are you up and ready for the trial?"

"Yes."

"And so are Miza and Anna?"

"Miza is not coming."

"What? No Miza needs to be there remember the jury-"

"Fuck Carne I'm not taking an 8 year old girl to a rape and murder trial!" Elsa looked down at Miza who was staring at her. She took the phone away from her face and mouthed 'Its ok Miza.' Before storming out the front door.

"Elsa do you want Hans to get the time he deserves or not?"

"Hans will get his time and he sure as hell will get it without sacrificing Marco's younger sister!" Elsa pressed 'END' on the call and stormed down the driveway, Anna and Jack following after her. Instantly her phone rang again and she answered it.

"Elsa this is important, you're Miza's caretakier-"

"What the fuck does that have to do with Hans not being insane?"

"The jury will feel sorry for you-"

"I DON'T CARE! Miza is 8 years old and she's already experianced things most people will never have to deal with. No Carne Miza is not coming to the god damn trial. "

"Fuck Elsa!"

"Don't you have any humanity?"

"Thats why I'm DOING THIS, do you really want Hans back on the streets b the time he's forty?"

"If that means Miza will live a somewhat happy life then yes!"

"What? NO ONE will live a happy life with that bastard on the streets."

"Thats why he wont be there."

"Elsa is Hans is set free early-"

"I take full responsibility."

"Thats not wha-" Elsa threw her phone on the grass before he could answer, and slammed herself inside of the car.

.:*:.


	19. Chapter 19

She did not dare look behind her this time, she could see the evil clear as day. He was handcuffed to the desk, and at his ankles- an orange jumpsuit ringing out his cruelty in the bolded lettering 'RED REED COUNTY PRISON'. Elsa stared, his hair was cut short, shorter then it had ever been and this time instead of walking into the courtroom smiling this time he had the sorry-ist look on his face. He looked afraid.

Elsa barely stopped herself from grinning at the thought. Welcome to my world, Hans. The gravel hitting it's coaster snapped Elsa clean out of her state of mind.

"All rise."

When Elsa stood her knees suddenly locked and recoiled, she almost fell flat on her face, Jack's arms pulling her back up. She looked to make sure the jury had not seen, she didn't need to look insane at a trial were she would be accused of lying.

Schizophrenics were amazingly good liars.

After the judge called for the case to begin, the defense attorney rose, cleared her throat and Elsa anticipated a gruesome opening statement. She looked down at Jack's hand and squeezed, stress clouding her head with the worst of all outcomes.

"Every one of you in the jury today, thank you for coming, and I'm sure you all have an understanding of why we are here today... Insanity, its a strong word to throw around a courtroom." Elsa did not like this woman at all, she had huge brown eyes and long black hair, the kind of girl whose smirk could send children screaming for their parents. Her face had something not human pasted behind it.

"Who is that?" Elsa whispered to Jack upon the attorney's pause.

"Jeniez Goodwell."

"However, the sorry truth is, that the victim in this case," Jeniez's voice was so smooth, it send goosebumps up Elsa's back. She gritted her teeth as the sinister woman looked her right in the eyes. "Is not a victim at all. Traumatized from a shooting of her own creation? Yes. But a victim of rape? No..."

Elsa held back an agonizing breath the the girl's words, the impact of them hitting her straightforward. She glanced at the jury. Juror 7, a tiny woman with pretty features was staring at the attorney with intense hatred, a good sign for Carne. Juror 11 was staring at Jeniez with intense focus, what was he thinking? Did he think Elsa was a liar?

"The victims of the Fallen High School shootings, died for a lie. A silly, teenage lie. Here is how things really worked out for Hans Issac Valencia. Hans comes out for a year from his hometown in Norway, after leaving for a year and returning for his junior year, he finds that this once cheerleading, happy, bright Elsa has now turning into an emancipated, gothic, depressed teen. And then weeks later, he decides to reach out to her, She brings up the topic of sex, drags Hans into the girls locker room and seduces him."

Elsa's knuckles whitened on the seat of the pew. She could feel the tear of rage hot on her eyelids. How dare her. 

"Staff and students hear the commotion, they rush to the bathroom, for fear that someone is hurt, and once they find Elsa and Hans red handed... Elsa raises the accusation 'He raped me.' " Jeniez paused and tapped her fingers on the jury pew, directly in front of Juror 2, who was staring at Jeniez- and did not believe a single word coming out of her mouth. "Now try to put yourself in Han's shoes. being accused of rape." She whistled, "That's a pretty intense charge, especially for a 17 year old boy. He;s facing prison time for 8 years. That's forever. So on the morning of the Fallen High shootings, he snaps. Blacks out, and wakes up to find himself in the county jail facing murder charges." Jeniez backed away from the stunned looking juror, she walked towards her seat, "You decide, if you were 17 again and the same happened to you... what would you do? Cry? Scream? Go Insane?" She pulled out her chair and sat, her opening statement finished.

Carne looked back at Elsa, throwing an 'I'm sorry' look at her.

"Now, what my fellow Counselor here has in mind is... very creative. A girl lying about her rape, although if you look at evidence tape 2, you'll see Elsa passed her lie detector test." Elsa did, she remembered that stupid contraption that only confirmed her every horror. "Right after being taken from Fallen High School the day of her documented rape, Elsa came to the office with extensive amounts of trauma, the head police psychiatrist diagnosed Elsa with Post Traumatic Stress disorder, Clinical Depression and another extreme Anxiety disorder. Now I already know what the defense attorney would say to that, don't mental disorders and lying go hand in hand? Well, Hans was also interviewed by that same psychiatrist who not only claimed Elsa was telling the truth, but also stated that Hans was not insane, under any influence of drugs, and was a compulsive liar." Carne scanned the jury again this time, every one of them was on the edge of their chair, fully intent on Carne's opening statement. "You'll hear from that psychiatrist today, as well as a witness to the stairwell incident, suggesting beyond a reasonable doubt that Hans was completely aware of his actions and their consequences at the time. You'll even hear from Elsa, a teenage girl who has already experienced things... which most will never experience in an entire lifetime. Maybe two." Carne walked across the courtroom, leaning against the prosecution table. "And there is no reasonable doubt, to the fact that this girl, has been forced to grow up much quicker then we ever did. At 17 I was out drinking, having parties, complaining about finals. I'm sure many of you here today were doing the same thing." Elsa watched through teary eyes a few of the jury members throw her a glance, a few were nodding their heads. "Elsa, is 17 and is raising one of the victims of Fallen High School's siblings. She is dealing with the death of her best friend, the threatened death of her sister and numerous Anxiety sources. No, there is no reasonable doubt." Carne looked at the jury one last time, threw a glance at Jeniez Goodwell and sat back down in his chair.

"Prosecution calls to witness Colletta Tylers." Elsa recognized the girl from the police station walk up to the stand.

Elsa held her breath until her lungd burned, she stared at the 12 faceless people in the juror's box, praying they knew the right answer.

.:*:.

After Colletta stated her credentials, which were more then impressive, Carne began to approach her with numerous questions.

"Dr. Tylers, When the victim came into the police office after being picked up from the school, what was the first thing she did?"

"She asked for a pair of pants." It was visible that Carne almost facepalmed with frusteration.

"Okay, and after that?"

"Well she asked if her sister could go with her."

"Into the interrogation room?"

"Yes."

"And what was her reasoning?"

"Well, Elsa admitted that Hans had threatened to kill her family if she ever told anybody, she said she didn't want to leave Anna alone."

"What types of questions did you ask Elsa?"

"The usual, when did it happen, how did it happen, were did it happen."

" And what was Elsa's response?"

"To which of the questions?"

"Lets start with where."

"Elsa explained that it had happened for the first time in the downstairs girl's bathroom by the English hall. The recent, as of the day she was brought in, was committed in the bathroom stall of the girl's gym locker rooms. There are other instances of abuse happening behind the bleachers by the football field, in an alleyway of a close shopping center, once in the hallway and once ore in her vehicle."

"For the first time? Explain to me, how many times did Elsa tell you this happened?"

"Elsa didn't know the numbers, She explained to me that this would happen once or twice a week, consecutively about once every three days. She had been raped the first time in November and this continued until May... We came up with the number of about 42 times."

"42 times?" Carne stopped with a dumbfounded look on his face. Juror 7 covered her mouth and stared with bugs eyes. Juror 9 gritted his teeth.

"Yes, roughly, it could have been anywhere between 28 and 56 times."

"And was Elsa taking a lie detector test during this time?"

"Yes she was."

"Can you explain to the jury Elsa's results?"

Colletta turned to the jury. "As I've sad before I have witnessed many accounts of rape victims, during the time they explain their experience the needle says straight if they tell the truth, if they are lying -which has happened before- the needle does swirls or zig-zags on the paper. When Elsa was taking the lie detector test the needle never once left the line even a fraction. "

"Is that rare in your field Dr. Tylers?"

Colletta nodded. "When a rape victim is not under alot of stress, meaning they came in a day or two after the rape, they've had time to get over the stress and even then they mess up small details that send the detector off the grind an inch of so. Girls like Elsa who come in are most often the ones to stay on the line. Being raped so many times s defiantly rare, Elsa was so full of details she couldn't miss any of them. It is, without a doubt, not possible for Elsa to have been lying."

At that point Elsa's hand were shaking, her breath was faltering, her ribs begged for air. Elsa couldn't look Colletta in the eye, she could not look up from her porcelain shaking hands. Tears rolled off her face, she could feel the eyes of the jury on her as she held a hand over her mouth as to keep from screaming.

Hush little baby don't say a word. 

"Dr. Tylers, you also had a session with Hans, what did he say to you during this session?"

"He said he did not do it."

"Were those his exact words?"

"Not exactly, I asked him 'Hans did you rape Elsa Aren?' he looked me in the eyes and said 'I would never'"

"Now jurors, tape 3 in your evidence is the tape recorder and lie detector tests for Hans right after Elsa's alleged rape. Dr, can you explain to me what happens at three minutes and 14 seconds up until four minutes and 56 seconds during this tape?"

"At which question?"

"When you asked Hans if he threatened Elsa's family?"

"Hans went silent, and while he was silent the needle stayed on the grid, similar to Elsa's, showing he was deeply in thought and disturbed by his memories. Then at four minutes he says 'I had to keep her quiet'. That is the only point on the tape were his needle stays on the line, afterwards I ask 'What did you say to her Hans?' and he just says 'I didn't so anything, I never threatened her she's a liar." And the needle started going off the chart again."

"Nothing further." Carne turns away from Colletta who walks off the stand and throws one, disgusted look at Colletta, Hans looks up at her, and smirks.

.:*:.

Elsa stood up and left, she turned for the courthouse door and stormed away, Jack trailing after her. Tears stung her eyes and her throat, she gritted her teeth and run angry fingers through her hair. She crumbled to her knees on the courthouse as the truth settled on her shoulders.

I wish I was lying. Trust me Hans, I wish I was lying. 

Elsa barely muffled a scream with her hand, she peered around, hoping no one would see her sudden burst of insanity.

"Elsa!" Jack was running up to her, picking her up off the ground like he always had. "Elsa-"

"Shh. Please don't speak." Elsa whimpered into his shirt. She suffocated her tears, refusing to watch anymore of the trial. "I'm not going back in there."

"You never had to."

"I hate him." Elsa gripped the cotton fabric, her face becoming swollen from the sadness. "I fucking hate him so bad."

"I do to, he's going to jail Elsa. He has to."

"What if he gets away with it? What then?"

Jack hesitated before he spoke. "I won't let him get you Elsa." Elsa shook her head on his chest.

"You're not safe here, with me. I'm just a stick of dynamite waiting to explode Jack... I can't hurt you." She began to let go when he snatched her hands.

"Don't you leave me Elsa. Don't you ever leave me and think that just because you explode at a distance makes it any less painful."

"At least it won't get you."

"It already has."

Elsa stopped her struggle against his hands and looked up.

"It got him Jack... It got Marco... It got Courtney... It got strangers, it hurt Anna. No Jack, not you." And that thought made Elsa wonder, what was a bigger sign of love, letting someone go despite your own happiness, or holding on tight enough to break a spine? Which one hurt less? Was being pushed away really less painfull the exploding? Or was that being selfish? Did pushing Jack away make it easier for her, or for him?

"Then let it get me too Elsa. Hit me with all you got." He let go of her hands and held the contact in her eyes for what felt like forever. Elsa was the one to break the war between their fighting blues. She turned away, let out her breath and hugged Jack intensely. "Is that all you got?" Elsa nodded and smiled at the suddenly cheeky tone in his voice- the sound drizzling out of his mouth like honey, sweet to the taste and healing her wounds. "I think I can handle that."

.:*:.

The prosecution had interview Colletta, , Blake Pitch and now it was Elsa's turn.

"Elsa Delaney Aren, how old are you?"

"I'm 17." Elsa's hands gripped the seat of the chair placed in the witness stand. Fear, it was a powerful thing. It was strong enough to make Elsa's eyes water while the simple question was brought up, and weak enough for her to stand still, look Carne in the eyes. Carne flashed her a smile and mouthed 'Relax'. Elsa tried to nod, she could feel the jurors eyes searing into her skin.

"What High School do you go to Ms. Aren?"

"Currently? I don't go to one."

"Why is that?" Elsa threw a glance at her sister, Anna was staring up at her with huge, glazed over eyes.

"I'm afraid, and I have a sister at home to take care of. I also am taking care of Miza De'James."

"Who is Miza De'James?"

Elsa went to open her mouth when Jeniez popped out of her chair. At this Elsa jumped so high her knees banged against the wooden frame of the box, loud enough for the jury to all star at her and to increase her breath visibly.

"Objection! What does Miza De'James have to do with this case?" Jeniez growled angrily

"Your Honor, Miza is a perfect example of how the victim has been affected by the crime."

"Sustained," The judge squeaked and threw a nasty glance at Jeniez.

"Again, Ms. Aren, who is Miza?"

"Marco's younger sister."

"For those in the jury who do not know who Marco De'James is could you explain?"

Elsa turned and met Juror 10's gaze, an old man with big, gentle eyes.

"Marco was my best friend through elementary and middle school, he was ki-" Elsa choked on the words and paused, trying to catch her breath. "We was killed in the Fallen High School shootings."

"Ms. Aren, I know this must be very hard for you but could you please explain your experience the day of the Fallen High School shootings?" Elsa took a very long, drawn out breath, as she was transported to the day of the shooting in her memory.

.:*:.

Elsa finished by describing Marco's death, her voice was shaky by that time, her eyes were sealed shut and her hands were gripping the edge of the witness box. Silence settled over the courtroom, she finally pried her eyes open to see Carne staring at her. The jury was all 'O' mouthed and speechless. Her eyes traveled to meet the gaze of her attacker's

"You bastard." She whispered. So quietly even in the silence no one could have heard, but Hans did. Hans looked at her and for a minute his eyes gleamed as if he was getting a kick out of her pain. Then, he tipped his head back- and laughed.

His laughter filed the courtroom with a booming, devilish snicker. Elsa felt her entire being start to fall apart again. Then the anger, Hans was trying to purposefully make himself look insane. Sure, he was a physcopath, but he was a smart one at that.

"Your witness," Carne hissed to Jeniez. Then, Jeniez looked up at Elsa, and for once there was a gleam of light in her brown eyes.

"The defense rests."

.:*:.

JURY BALLOT

STATE V. Hans Issac Valencia

() 1. We find the defendant GUILTY of murder in the first degree.

() 2. We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of murder in the first degree.

() 3. We find the defendant GUILTY of sexual assault.

() 4. We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of sexual assault.

() 5. If you answered NOT GUILTY of murder, did you find him NOT GUILTY by reason of insanity during

the time of the offense?

() 6. If you answered YES to No.5: Does this insanity continue?

.:*:.


	20. You

Elsa stared at the ceiling of the living room, a sleeping Miza laying her head on Elsa's lap. Her fingers played with Miza's hair, silk like strands splayed out on the couch.

"What are you going to do if he's found innocent?" Anna mumbled from her perch on the edge of the couch where her blank expression clued her boredom.

"I don't know, go on with life."

"How?" Anna turned the TV off and curled into a blanket.

"I made it this far." Elsa's throat closed with the intense struggle to breathe while Anna did not dare say another word, she simply snuggled into the couch cushion and tried to sleep. Eventually her breath slowed leaving Elsa alone in a room full of people, staring at the ceiling. She focused on her breath, her lungs expanding and closing again, but the breaths were empty-dead- no life came with the hollow and fill of her ribs.

She closed her eyes tight, no more tears. She would whisper to herself in the darkness. "No more tears, please." And teeth dug into perfect pink lips, drawing iron tasting scarlet, blood dripped down her chin and filling her mouth.

Elsa lifted the sleeping child's head off her lap, skillfully slipping out and laying a pillow beneath Miza to support her fragile neck. She shuffled her way across the floor to the dining room were she pulled out a chair quietly and let herself slowly fall back. The three bodies silhouetting Jack, Anna and Miza lay still exempt a breath every few seconds.

She pulled her sweater off, the room's heat creating a line of condensation at her hairline. The tank top did not fail to reveal her perfect white skin. Perfectly flawed by scars and sadness. She turned to the window, the night sky filling with stars, the ones that did not gleam hardly as bright as her eyes rimmed with tears. She played with loose string on the fabric that was not nearly as soft as her touch. She fell asleep crying with her head pressed into the table and her wrists bare of cloth.

For the first time in months, Elsa fell asleep.

.:*:.

When she walks down the streets, you'd never see the eyes of a rape victim. You'd see a girl with high top converse and a beanie. Your friends would call her emo and laugh as she walked by. You'd never see a girl who missed her best friend, her first love... You'd see a girl who never speaks unless she has to, you'd see dark makeup and bleach white hair. Maybe your cousins would roll their eyes or bump her shoulder on purpose. You'd never see a girl with imperfect cuts on her wrists, shed pull down her sweater sleeves, not knowing she pulled on it too much and rounded white shoulders would pop out. You'd probably narrow your eyes and hiss 'whore' under a cough. Because you never knew the whole story, you never read her book. Despite her appearance that may seem juvenile, the nose piercing that would appear gothic or over the top isn't just a fad or an attention crisis. But I wouldn't blame you if when the sun hit her translucent skin you breathed 'Hey paper-white.'. After all, you thought she was just a pretty girl with long sleeves.

.:*:.

Sweat created a thin barrier between Elsa's hand and the pew of the courtroom, her heart pounded in her head as the twelve juror to decide Hans's fate made their way into the courtroom. The foreman stood, clearing his throat.

Her other hand was occupied by Jack's, his grip was almost as intense as hers. She gripped his palm so hard her knuckled hurt, of she had not bitten off her fingernails due to the nerves she would have drawn blood on Jack's skin. She was pressed into his side, bracing herself for the worst.

"We the jury... find Hans Valencia guilty of murder in the first degree and of multiple charges of sexual assault."

Elsa buried her head into Jack's sleeves, her tears soaking the fabric, her whimpers muffled by his soothing touch. For once, something went right. She felt a single thread make the first stitch in mending her broken soul.

"I hereby sentence Hans to 95 years in prison with no chance of parole."

.:*:.


	21. Promise Me, An Eternity

Hey guys. So I wanted to write this story for multiple reasons. First of all, the most obvious, is because rape is a horrifying crime. I hate it so much and everyone overlooks it. Second of all, to show how much I hate our court system. And lastly, to show how loss affects kids and young adults. Alot of teens and kids grow up loosing someone that is dear to them, and by witnessing the way it effects people around me - loss is the most accurate way of destroying a family. Of destroying a person.

No, I am not done with this story because too many things have been left un answered. I am making a sequal called 'Freckled Face, Scarred Smile.' This story is both elaborating on Elsa and Jack's relationship, creating Anna and Kristoff's relationship, and I'm going to add in some stuff about Miza because I think many of you like her. And because I love her. See I love her but I am so mean to her, and Elsa. See I have to fix it! NOT saying that its going to be all cheesy happy endings but there will be some.

SOI hope everyone will check out 'Freckled Face, Scarred Smile.'

Thank you all for reading this and bearing with me, I know... this topic is gruesome and I hate it! I know the Jelsa hasn't even started yet and I know that there are alot of triggering and angering subjects. Thank you all so much I love you all and I hope you will continue reading my stories!

"So were do you go from here?" Tooth smiled genuinely ans reached across the table to set her hand on Elsa's. Elsa lokode back, catching the girl's teary eyes and looking to her side. An orphaned girl with her brother's huge green eyes stared up from her lap, pressing her head into Elsa's shoulder. A scarred face played with her identifal braids and laugheed with the two tall boys on the couch. A mute and a child-hearted man shared a drink in the kitchen.

"Forward, its the only direction we have." Elsa smiled, her lips pressed against the top of Miza's head. Tooth's tears fell happily on the table.

"And what are you going to do, I mean... now that we can all sleep again?"

Elsa's eyes shined with sun, she stared up and for the first time in months she saw the light beating down on the dinnig room and blanketing her face.

"Live." She refused to close her eyes even when the sun burned her pupils. "I'm going to live."

.:*:.

Steam covered the bathroom walls, Elsa's relfection blurred by the moisture. She dipped the eyeliner back in the bottle again anyways though, savoring the feeling of normality. The long sleeves of a black hoodie dangling from her wrists. The rush of cold air hit her face like a wall once she stepped out of the bathroom and into her own.

"So you ready for this?" Jack's voice rang out above the blowdryer in Anna's room. He sat on the edge of her bed, completely comfortable with his newfound home after moving into there spare room, which is all honesty was barely big enough for a twin sized bed and a dresser.

"Ready for what? Taking Miza to school?" She said very casually, lacing up her converse. "Of course."

"You and I both know its more then that." Jack looked up, his huge sky eyes boring into hers.

"Lighten up, I'm picking her up for lunch." She smiled and Jack rolled his eyes.

"The truth comes out." He chuckled and stood up, walking into the kitchen. Elsa finished the last lace in her ankle highs and gliding into Anna's room were Miza sat propped up on the chair in front of the vanity and Anna stood behind her, running the blowdryer through her hair.

"Well well well, what is this?" Elsa sighed sarcastically and raised an eyebrow at her sister.

"What? Its the first day of school and Miza wanted to blow dry her hair, I figured you wouldn't mind." Anna smiled and continued to brush the girl's hair. Elsa again stepped next to Miza and stared at the huge emerald eyes through the reflection.

"Are you ready yet Miz?"

"Yes!" Miza smield ear to ear, fixing her white button up shirt and black tie, smoothed her murple shirt and adjusted the neon knee high socks.

"Did you eat breakfast?" Elsa smiled at the gir's funny attire, but she was so proud. So proud Miza was still her own person. The girl picked up a plate of half eaten toast and eggs. "Jack make you that?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to say anything besides 'yes' this morning?" Elsa raised an eyebrow at her question and after a moment of thought Miza raised an eyebrow back at Elsa, a trick she had unknowigly taught Miza.

"Yes."

Elsa laughed and kissed Miza's forehead, giving her sister a side hug before walking into the living room/dining room were Jack already had a cup of coffee waiting for her. She smirked, sitting down and sipping at the soothing liquid.

"Did I make it right?"

"We both know you did. How did you ever learn how ilike my coffee, anyways?" She gave him a teasing glance but he shot a meaningful one back.

"Because you like yours just like I like mine."

Elsa smild up at him. "Thank you Jack."

"Of course Elsa, I'll make coffee for you everyday if you asked me to.

"No, I mean- thank you for the coffee but thank you... for everything." She sipped at the warm drink, Jack wandering across the room to pull up a chair next to Elsa with his own cup of coffee.

"No Elsa, thank you."

.:*:.

"Okay, I love you Miza, and you call me if you need anything okay sweetheart?" Elsa hugged the child once more before setting her down, letting her walk on her own two feet.

"Yes Momma, love you." Miza hugged Elsa's knees before trotting off towards hre classroom, her black backpack-Elsa's old one- boucing with her jumps. Elsa watched her go, a small ounce of fear tickling her throat. She is going to be just fine. She watched as a girl with Ambercrombie clothes on snickered and walked away from Miza, a small hole in Elsa's heart begining. She will be okay. Another girl, one with a dress and big glasses walked up to Miza and held out her hand. Elsa could barely hear them.

"Hi! I'm Rayna, I like your socks." Miza took the girls hand and smiled with all her teeth.

"I'm Miza! And thank you my mom bought me them for my birthday!" Miza looked up at Elsa and pointed, both the girls waving at her. She waved back, a smiled playing its way onto her face. She is going to be happy. A boy with braces and hair cut long came up to her.

"Hi."

"Hi I'm Miza!"

"I'm Dane."

Yes. Miza will be very happy.

.:*:.

" I still can't beleive you let her wear those hightops."

"The pink ones? They were vute and plus she liked them."

"Only because you wear the hightop converse." Anna smirked at her.

"Whatever. Did I tel lyou she made some friends, it was great I think she's going to be really happy at school again."

"Speaking of- when are you going back?" Elsa's mind blanked out at Anna's words and he clenched her jaw.

"Uhm, I'm not going back."

"What?"

"I'm not going back, I think I'm just going to get my GED and find something to do with that, and if I can't get that I'll just keep working small jobs here and there."

"Thats not fair."

"What?"

"That you're allowed to be scared." Elsa stared at Anna after the words were spoken.

"Anna I never said you couldn't be afraid its normal to-"

"Well you're not the one who will have to walk through hallways again and trudge up stairwells to find classes and sit against the wall in a cafateria." A long 20 minutes of silence settled int the car, each girl lost in there own world.

"You can finish online, if that's what you want."

"its not what I want. I just dont want to be afraid."

Elsa stopped the car in the middle of the road, she rotated in the seat to look at Anna and waited until the girl met her gaze.

"Anna, I got you now. And I am never letting you go again." She waited for Anna to throw her arms arounf her, and the two embraced despite the car horns and cussing drivers."I love you okay?"

"Okay."

.:*:.

"Let's make a promise." Jack pulled her closer to him, and she malted at his touch.

"Hmm?" Elsa raised a brow and touched his shoulder delicately.

"Lets promise, to never be afraid."

"Never?"

"Never." His nose touched hers and she pulled back to kiss it.

"Fine... pinky promise."She held out a finger and waited for his reply. Without breaking her gaze his finger wrapped hers.

"Pinky promise."

"Never?" She repeated. His lips coming dangerously close to hers. His hand ran throuch her hair while the other held her pinky for dear life.

"Never." His breath brushed against her skin before he closed to gap between them. They kissed painfully slow, agonizingly sweet. When she pulled away for breath- he touched her chin, his thumb holding her head. She looked into his eyes and knew, that she would never, never... be afraid again.


End file.
